Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Hey Natalie Jean Is Excited To Flirt With College Kids

Natalie Holbrook, is what, celebrated her wedding anniversary yesterday by posting a moving love letter to the man who makes her lifestyle possible. Oh wait, no she didn’t – she posted a weird seal clapping statement about how much fun she’s going to have with the college boys.

The good news is that Brandon, Professor The Holbs at WSU, officially a cougar again (go cougs!), will training the brightest young minds this fall in the ways of the Excel spreadsheets, making me the official MILF of the accounting department. (Yes it does.) This means I get to practice my flirting skills on the youth of America again.

Which makes me a cougar, too! (Get it?)

Saying she’s “done been married twelve years” she goes on to tell the world that being a cougar and flirting with “the youth” is “[s]uch a bright spot on my horizon”. She concludes by wishing her husband a “Happy ambliversary!”


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Mommy Blogging

That Wife Knows Bike Safety

Jenna Cole, Jewish nudist, joins the blogger trend of questionable bicycle safety. This weekend she threw her two small children in a bike trailer thing and took off to attempt adult friendshipping again. But first she had to take photos showcasing her brave decision to wear a crop top.

When readers asked her about the bike trailer she admitted “the listing from side-to-side is scary”, and stated the seats “have buckles/straps to hold them in, but I installed the seat covers backwards and haven’t flipped them around yet”.

Of course the obvious happened – Jenna “forgot the advice I received when I first started biking in the city and went over some trolley tracks at a non-perpendicular angle while pulling the kids” and everyone went tail over teakettle onto the street. Despite what appear to be pretty painful scrapes and bruises, she brushed off the incident by saying she “was really happy when T1 retold the story and said that the experience taught him the importance of wearing a helmet”.

Jenna then took her scraped and bruised children to the beach so they could splash around in saltwater.


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Mommy Blogging WTF

Sam And Nia Are Thrilled To Go Viral With Alleged 48 Hour Pregnancy

gross

Vloggers Sam & Nia, finally famous, have at last unlocked achievement level Viral Video. They reached this dream of every vlogger with a youtube announcement in which husband Sam, saying his wife texted him earlier to say her period was two weeks late,  proceeds to secretly take Nia’s overnight urine out of the toilet and performs a pregnancy test. He then informs his wife she is pregnant.

But then just three days later they posted a tearful video claiming Nia just had a miscarriage.

We’re so hurt but we’re so thankful that God used us like this…I just hope this video continues to be a way for God to shine his light through us…

They are defending themselves against claims that the videos are a publicity stunt by speaking to huge media outlets. This is after they posted a video about what an “awesome day” they were having because they went viral.


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Mommy Blogging

Dooce Wants You To Know Her Struggle

Dooce, still talking about how she “retired” from blogging, is still talking about how she “retired” from blogging. In an interview with ProBlogger she yet again bemoans the current state of blogland, saying there’s “been a huge shift in the industry since 2011″. She then goes into why her job is harder than your job.

There has been dissatisfaction for about three years, but only since my ex-husband moved to New York has my publishing schedule changed. Once it was just me at home with the children, I no longer could keep up with the schedule I had in place before he left….I often had to stop blogging when my kids were sick or needed me…I had kids to take care of. It’s very difficult to be a single parent and a business owner.

She says she doesn’t know “a single blogger who even enjoys it any more” and explains further to all of you childless chumps with regular jobs why blogging is harder than what you do.

It’s not like just walking into a job every day, it’s so different. I was talking to someone recently, and they asked if there was a segment of the population that are ridiculous in terms of their criticism of what you do – and there is. It’s people with no kids who go to an office job.

She concludes by saying her retirement “probably has increased my workload about 40%” and that “the most feminist thing I can do for myself, and I can ask myself this as a white woman in America – is ask: “am I happy doing what I’m doing?””


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Internets

Gala Darling Book Picked Up By Publisher

Gala Darling, ask her about her “best selling book”, has revealed the reason her self-published tree funeral was only available for one month.

I am delighted to announce that the reason for the short run of my book is that Radical Self Love has been acquired by Hay House! I am so thrilled to become a member of the esteemed Hay House Family!

Saying “it all happened because I believed in my message enough to do something about it” Gala goes on to offer more plates of woo to her hungry followers by claiming “Whatever you want to do, you can do. Just start. Stop waiting for perfect conditions: there is no such thing!” She then aimed her pink glitter gun at their faces and told them they “can have and do whatever you want” before getting back to selling them classes.


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