Mommy Blogging

Internets Continues To Scratch Head Over Dooce And Tuff Relationship

It seems Heather Armstrong and Matt Tuff, the gentleman friend she has yet to mention on her blog, are starting to publicly acknowledge each other – at least on instagram. On a post early Wednesday Dooce wrote that she was on her way yet again to New York City, to which (hopefully both halves of) Tuff’s nose responded “See you soon.”:

Tuff had posted a photo of himself and Dooce to his instagram just hours earlier and the two exchanged sentiments, with Tuff telling Dooce she is “beautiful”, and Dooce responding that Tuff is “incredible”:

The question remains: are these two romantically involved? And if they are, will Dooce ever incorporate him into the blog or give any kind of heads up to her readers? And is Tuff her Mother’s Day gift or did her kids buy her a gallon jug of Cetaphil as well?

  1. avatar pbnj

    Are they wearing matching jackets?

  2. avatar Furball

    Whoa. For a minute there I thought she took a picture with Arthur Darvill.

    (Except that’s an insult to Arthur Darvill so I’m sorry for thinking it.)

  3. avatar noticer

    have you guys noticed matttuff *never* likes photos of her kids? just sayin’

    • avatar True

      Yeah, but wouldn’t that be kind of creepy if he did?

    • avatar Reply Hazy Try Again

      That would be a pretty rub-it-in thing to do to Jon. I imagine he’s just trying not to be antagonistic.

      • avatar MEP

        I wish he would like the photos of the kids and lattes on the blurbotumblr. Just so something more exciting than this crap might happen.

  4. avatar snoogerbot

    Yeow, his chin has Leno-esqe proportions, doesn’t it, as does hers – at least in that photo.

    • avatar blackkat

      Maybe they can have a threesome with Reese do-you-know-who-I-am Witherspoon.

    • avatar Living the Meshuggena Life

      In that photo, they remind me of those cartoon characatures that you see unemployed artists drawing on the boardwalk. All lollypop head and exaggerated facial features. All that’s missing is a teeny tiny camera and an “I <3 NY" t-shirt for him, and an itty bitty "Chuck" dog companion and plane ticket for her, with a little airplane outlined and flying through puffy clouds overhead.

      Except that, you know, they're (presumably) read people and not cartoons.

      He doesn't exactly scream "potential step-dad material", does he?

    • avatar J.D. & V. Forever

      There’s a syndrome that includes big chin, big forehead as physical features. Martin-Bell or something… sometimes associated with MR but a lot of people have it who don’t have MR, just the big chins or jaws, longish faces, sometimes largish foreheads, sometimes smallish mouths resulting in crowded teeth. Sometimes they have other symptoms that are more of the emotional sort, like depression, anxiety, OCD. It’s hereditary and a lot of geeks have it. Women can get it from either their mom or dad, or both. Men get it from their mom. Someone once asked Jay Leno who he inherited his chin from and he said his mom can’t find a pic of her but the mom’s don’t always have the physical features. They can be just carriers or have some form of mutation. Ryan Gosling had more of the chin thing but if you compare old pictures, looks like he’s had that fixed. Many talented people have the facial profile. Comedians, writers, etc. You have to be very careful during procreation though. Some people can be very disabled depending on the inherited mutation.

      I’m sure that none of these people have this syndrome though, especially the people in the picture. They just happen to both have big chins. This was meant for educational purposes only.

      Lastly, about her teeth…I’ve wondered, what with all the non-smiles if she’s been wearing braces like invisiline or something. I think her teeth do look a little better now as well as in the picture that someone posted when she was in Ohio recently.

  5. avatar blackkat

    He’s too cool to like kids, y’all! He has a nose and chin to take care of.

  6. avatar bigkitty

    She is going to NYC because she is a volunteer director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. She’s attending their board meeting. Chill out, haters, or at least get better info.

    • avatar Babby Forming, Despite Life-Threatening Heels

      Tell it to Pound Town.

    • avatar Mountie

      Oh, I’m sorry. I guess they got the info from where she personally posted this yesterday: “I’m en route to New York to attend the first board meeting for Every Mother Counts tomorrow.”

      But you’re right, she never tells the truth on her blog anyway, so it should not have been trusted.

    • avatar tuff enuff (AFGHANI)

      PrincessBelle1, I presume?

    • avatar silveroak

      Um, no she’s going to bang Matt’s nose. Gosh, like oh my god, chill.

    • avatar Delores

      Maybe while she’s attending NAMI’s board meeting someone can educate her about what OCD is, since she misuses the term all the time to humble brag about how fucking anal retentive she is.

    • avatar TurkeyVulture

      You are out of your depth, son. Back away slowly.

    • avatar Ridiculicious

      Right. She’s going to NYC to talk about mental health, and Matt-the-nose-Tuff says, ‘See you soon.’

      He said ‘See you soon’ because he’s totally not going to be fucking her crazy ass.

  7. avatar True

    I am going to say something nice on the internets. This might be a first. I think that Matt Tuff is kind of cute. There, I said it. I know his twitter sounds kind of douchey, and so are his infinite selflies on instagram, but I also bet that he is fun to hang out with IRL.

    • avatar Mountie

      I bet he totally puts together the best playlists ever!tumblr_lwjj10isXQ1r2tfa8o1_500.gif

    • avatar J.D. & V. Forever

      I don’t think he’s cute but I’m hesitant to snark him before he’s earned it. He does seem nicer that the last guy she kept in her basement though. Her taste in men though….I don’t think she’s capable of choosing someone who’s emotionally all there.

      He’s the next Mr. D. I’d put money on it. Probly all in the works already and they’ve just been waiting for the divorce to come through. He’s young and gullible, that’s what she sees as an improvement over the last assface. This is the result of years of therapy – finding a younger guy who’s too clueless to see what a narcissist she is.

      A super chinny baby is just what she needs to get back the page views. When it gets down to it, he’s for page views, just like everything else in her life.

      • avatar tuff enuff (AFGHANI)

        as Matt Monson would say, “pageview$”.

      • avatar True

        I think he’s cute, but that’s in the eye of the beholder. Let’s just say I wouldn’t be kicking him out the hotel bed while I was on a work trip to NYC, that’s all. As long he would promise to shut up with the grandma jokes.

        I agree, I think that there will be a baby Tuff out of this.

        • Well someone ALLEGEDLY saw them together last year at some music festival. If that’s true then this isn’t some new rebound fling she’s just started up. But who the fuck knows since she never posts the full truth about her actual life anymore.

          • avatar True

            I don’t think it’s a rebound fling either. Who flies across the country for a rebound fling? Plus, I don’t think she’d be pasting him all over Instagram.

        • avatar DoubleEntendre

          I would honestly be shocked if she allowed that womb to be open for business again.


          • avatar I read her site

            Especially after having Jon get a vasectomy.

            • avatar eina

              I can imagine Jon going “I had a vasectomy for you!” if she spawns with the new guy.

              • I can see him trying to get it reversed in a few years when he marries one of the fawning 30-something internet casserole bringers who drool over him on his website.

              • avatar DoubleEntendre

                Jon pays for the reversal with his new enterprise, selling t-shirts on zazzle.


              • avatar DoubleEntendre

                Whoa! Lord a’mercy that’s huge. SS :0

          • avatar Ghost of Mary Todd

            Your comment with this picture. I’m dead of lols. (appropriate, no)

      • avatar Lucreza Borgia

        My husband’s ding-dong ex does that all the time. Dates guys at least 10 years younger who don’t realize that her drama makes teenage bullshit look like a never-ending party.

    • avatar TurkeyVulture

      I can’t get over his wafting air of superdouchery, but I do love a man with a large nose. The bigger the better. I am all about the honkin’ schnozzes.

      • avatar JaffaCakes

        I’ll admit that a good 45% of my celebrity crush on Adrian Brody is to do with his nose.


      • avatar WeeWillyWinkie

        Oh, yes! I love a good nose on a dude too. It’s all “out there” and aggressive and comin’ atchya!!

  8. avatar Babby Forming, Despite Life-Threatening Heels

    You guys, it’s so obvious this is her rebound lay. I don’t think she’s in any rush to get into a serious relationship or get married and have more babies or anything like that. It’s just very embarrassing to watch her moon over this poor man’s Gosling like a hormonal teen.

    Also, I’m an asshole, but this is exactly the type of guy any savvy single New York female avoids like the plague and it’s kind of funny to witness someone of Douche’s “status” fall for all the brooding, pseudo-intellectual trappings.

    • avatar AllyOOp

      Agree. He’s literally, what, 20 years Jon’s junior? This is her being both passive aggressive bitchy to Jon AND trying to make up for all that rock star lifestyle she gave up by marrying Jon, moving to Utah, having a couple kids, and selling her artistic soul out for some of Dove’s deodorant ad revenue. Matt Tuff is as much of a distraction as decorating that monstrosity of house was.

    • avatar Runner


    • avatar LaceFace

      I agree. She has no intentions of more kids, she can barely stifle her disdain for the youngest one now. She *gasp* isn’t just like Dooce so she must be made fun of every chance she gets. While the older who is just as anal retentive and living on the edge of a mental breakdown as her mom is gods gift to the internet. OMG look at her stare at a ipad… and at a wii… and an ipod. Geeze. Get that kid some vitamin D once in a while.

      • avatar J.D. & V. Forever

        You might be right. I’ve become more concerned about the older child’s mental well-being over the way that HA has treated her in regard to her piano lessons/recitals. I think she’s turning her into a mini-me in terms of anxiety and must-be-validictorian of everything or else. As a narcissist, this over-achieving that she seeks in her child is for her benefit, not the child’s. Once again the dad is NOT coming to the rescue of his children. These kids have two equally bad parents unfortunately. And the new guy is probably going to be the third child. It’s going to be bad for everyone involved, probably painfully drawn out, but at lease everyone but HA will learn something positive from it. Narcissists only change to become better manipulators.

        • avatar J.D. & V. Forever

          “but at *least*” not lease…arrrrgh! And a rethought (is that a word?)— the kids might not learn anything positive but be damaged further. Maybe we as readers will learn from it and TuffGuy, if he’s lucky. Everyone else… probably just the value of therapy.

    • avatar blackkat

      Hahaha, I know! Totally! It’s embarrassing.

  9. avatar PricklyPete

    I think I’m officially over Dooce. I don’t care anymore. She’s unlikeable, unrelatable, and I’ve run out of fucks to give.

    • Part of me no longer cares, and part of me wants to see the finale. Sort of like how I felt about The Sopranos.

      • avatar DishPit

        God. Is it time to cue some more shitty music from my squandered youth? Maybe some Hall and Oates this time.

      • avatar BitterInfertile

        I am a-ok getting my Dooce news via GOMI (no page views for her). Danke PP.

      • avatar AQNR

        DON’T STOP

        • I think you should all just know at last…the only Journey song I like is “Oh Sherry”. Sorry to disappoint. I prefer Whitesnake or Sheriff.

          • avatar crankyoldbitch

            Is this love that I’m feeling?

          • avatar DoubleEntendre

            We might just have to Go Separate Ways. THIS WAS NOT HOW YOUR MOTHER AND I RAISED YOU.


          • avatar Babby Forming, Despite Life-Threatening Heels

            oh god this song. this song FOREVER.
            I love it so much.
            There’s a part where Steve Perry says the “oh” like a beat before yOu think he will and it’s MAGICAL. PURE FUCKING MAGIC.

          • avatar Pants

            So I should apologise for doing this, but I’m going to giggle instead.

            I have a friend who insisted the line at the beginning of “Oh Sherry” was “CINNAMON GUM!!!” and now I can’t stop singing that whenever I hear that song.

            And now you will too. :-D

          • avatar Lamemoniker

            Actually Steve Perry did Oh Sherry solo. The technically you don’t like any of their songs. I love Journey, but I also enjoy Whiresnake and Sherriff aka Alias.

            • avatar Lamemoniker

              Should say “So technically.” I blame autocorrect. Always. No matter what.

            • Gah I always forget that. Well then I guess I don’t like any Journey. I’ll just show myself off the internets now :)

          • avatar silveroak

            I saw him in Reno one time, at some café place. Age is not his friend.

            Loved the band too.

    • avatar BitterInfertile

      I’m over Dooce too. You summed up my feelings about her to a T (unlikeable, unrelatable, and hey, I’ll add smug too). I am also disappointed to see how her internet persona on (and elsewhere) has evolved (or devolved, is that even a word?)

  10. avatar not_myself

    I really wanna go over to her community and create a question like, ‘I’m newly divorced just like Heather. I’ve been too scared to jump back into the dating pool, but seeing her budding romance has given me a push. Where can I find my very own Matt Tuff?”

    • avatar Pants

      Doooo eeeeet!

      (Personally, I think there’s a metric buttload worse than getting stoned. Heh.)

    • avatar Mockingword

      Dooce Community is so creepy. It’s like Fight Club. First rule of Dooce Community, never talk about Dooce in the Community.

      • Right? It seems to odd to have a community built off a blog ABOUT YOU and your life, and then apparently forbid anyone from discussing you and your life. I mean, wtf is the point then?

    • avatar Mind if I do a J?

      I double dog dare you!


  11. avatar Skitch3

    Oh, look, I have screenshots after all. Came home and saw I still had the page pulled up on my laptop.

    Suck it, Heather.




    • avatar Mockingword

      So she kept the crazy defender’s comment but deleted the polite detractors?

  12. avatar tinyhouse


    Yes, he vas….my BOYFRIEND!

    • avatar Pants

      HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAAA!! You just took me straight back to the college dorms with this and for that–I thank you.

  13. avatar Lamemoniker

    The matching jackets remind me of the scene in Eat,Pray,Love when Elizabeth Gilbert is hooking up with the younger guy and they show up at a party wearing matching leather jackets.

    • avatar Lamemoniker


      • avatar AQNR

        This photo is giving me shamies for everyone. Gilbert, unnamed dude, Roberts, Franco, the costume designer, Dooce ‘n’ Tuff, the cows that gave their lives for those jackets, basically all of humanity.

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