Mommy Blogging

Mumspringas Are Apparently The New Ladyblogger Trend

An odd trend has been rising over the past two years. Mommy/Lifestyle bloggers around their early 30s are sticking the toddlers in daycare and heading out for piercings and tats and all day ‘me time’ and all night ‘party time’. It seems young ladybloggers with young kids just become bored with themselves and begin flailing about for some kind of new personality angle.

SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME

SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME

Enter the ‘Mumspringa’. Ladybloggers between 28-32, usually with children under 5, suddenly start expressing a desire for tattoos or piercings; their personal style takes a turn into obvious try hard; they begin randomly talking about sex and sexuality (and making sure you know they own sex toys).

MY BREASTS ARE DOWN HERE, BOYS

MY BREASTS ARE DOWN HERE, BOYS

Suddenly they want to drink and wear see through clothes and go braless and get septum rings, and most importantly they want YOU to know they do these things. The only thing missing from the almost adolescent self-expression is pony tails, rollerskates, and ‘Hot Child In The City’ on full blast while they try to eat popsicles seductively in front of omgsocute boys.

So what is this all about? Why are mommy bloggers who haven’t even hit 35 suddenly behaving like a bunch of bored middle aged women whose kids just left for college? Or am I the only one seeing a pattern because I’m bored on a Sunday night? Do questions at the end of posts actually foster discussion when the blogger tells you to take it to their Facebook page?


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Mommy Blogging

Love Taza Wants You To Stop Making Assumptions About Her Fertility

Naomi, mother of 3, is once again subwhining about her silent struggles to conceive. In a post about how she has spent the past 4 years breastfeeding 3 successive babies, Naomi attempts to salve the feelings of any women suffering from infertility by implying she knows their pain.

for example, i’m not one of those lucky ladies who blinks and suddenly is pregnant…when someone starts talking about how “…and then i was pregnant with twins and we weren’t even trying!”…i try to make myself feel better by telling myself, “well naomi, you’re basically a milk maid, so at least you have that!”

When a commenter pointed out that she has, in fact, had 3 children in the past 4 years, so maybe dry crying about infertility is a bit tone deaf, Taza shut her right the buck down.

it seems you are making a lot of assumptions about how long it took us to get pregnant for each of our children and that you are assuming you have all the details about each process for our pregnancies. i’m not trying to insult anyone else who is trying to have a baby (i know firsthand how hurtful women can be to each other). on the contrary, i recognize that women all have their own difficulties and burdens to deal with. your comment is hurtful and insensitive to my own experiences and i wonder about its purpose. i’m very grateful to have been able to have these three babes close together.

This is rather baffling, since the timeline of her births and pregnancies is public record on her blog. Nobody needs to make assumptions – anyone can count out “how long it took” on one hand. But hey, infertility solidarity, sister. I’m sure all those readers who have watched you pop out three while still having none themselves are lining up to rub your back in sympathy for your reproductive struggles.


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Mommy Blogging

Pharm Chemicals Are Bad Unless They Pay You To Like Them

Denise, has six kids and invites you to ‘count ‘em’, wants you to stop hating anti-vaxxers because their logic is sound. She vaccinated her first two kids, but they had issues – and she just couldn’t bring herself to shove awful things into the rest of her kids.

Things started to shift once I gave birth to my third child. As I snuggled my brand new little boy in my arms, the thought of subjecting his healthy body to an onslaught of foreign antibodies and questionable chemicals brought tears to my eyes.

Of course those questionable chemicals are more than welcome when Denise is offered a sponsored post. Trying to ride the fence between maintaining her status as earth mama and getting those dolla dolla billz, Denise says:

I’m the type of mama who likes to avoid the doctor’s office at much as possible, and we treat most of our colds and flu symptoms with home remedies — eucalyptus rubs, herbs, homeopathic meds, a vaporizer, essential oils and chicken soup. If my children are really uncomfortable, I know I can trust Tylenol® to help make them feel better.

Oh, ok. Unvaccinated children don’t get sick because Mama doesn’t put evil pharmaceutical chemicals in their bodies. But if they get sick, Mama is happy to put evil pharmaceutical chemicals in their bodies. Especially if they are compensated for doing so.

Logic!


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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Cupcakes And Cashmere Births Her Cakepop And Other News

Sources are saying Cupcakes And Cashmere has pushed out her little pageview generator. She has allegedly bestowed the Totally Right Now name of ‘Sloan’ upon Baby Cuppers.

Katie Bower, crack house saver, has announced she is pregnant with her fourth. She claims she didn’t realize it until she was a good 18+ weeks along. Yeah.

Mr. What I Wore is opening his distillery and Messica is parading around Bloomtucky like the Midwestern Lady Coolbirth.

Miss James posted a ‘look how thin I am’ bathroom selfie but otherwise continues to be a snorepedo.

And be sure to check out the 2015 Predictions thread!

Tomorrow I’ll be posting a roundup of the GOMI Awards and announcing when and where the Failchievement Party will be. Hint: a bar in Brooklyn, on the 12th, and I’m paying, so make your plans now. Happy Sunday, hams!


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Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging WTF

Hey Natalie Jean Wants You To Buy Her Book In Order To Win Her Book

Natalie Holbrook, hip and dreamy, has a book coming out March 17th. In an attempt to drum up excitement she has been doing giveaways all week, culminating in today’s big bonanza – a chance to win her ‘uniform’ of boots and Madewell jeans, and a copy of her book. Just follow her simple entry rules!

To enter, head over to one of these retailers…and preorder that sucker! Then go here and fill out the entry form. If you’ve already preordered, bless you! Lemme kiss your face! Go find that email and enter your confirmation number ASAP, you’re already in!

Yes, you read that right: Natalie wants you to prove you have purchased her book in order to enter to win a copy of her book. I’m not a lolyer…but isn’t that sort of thing frowned upon by the law?


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