Mommy Blogging

Kate Oliver Will Take Her Pictures No Matter What

Kate Oliver, instagram “famous”, posted a picture the other day of her son sleeping on a table at a cafe.

This is why people hate mommies.

This is why people hate mommies.

 

Well today she posted a photo showing how she accomplished that shot.

Feet on public tables, nothing rude about that.

Feet on public tables, nothing rude about that.

Behold, the lengths attention whore mommies will go to for an instagram worthy photo. How is this safe or sanitary or polite? This is a public space. Ratchet back, ladies. There are other people in the world.

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Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Love Taza Can’t Even Put Their Kids To Sleep Without The Internet

Josh Davis of Love Taza, there could be a ‘trail mix of tears’ joke in here if I wanted to be culturally insensitive, posted today about how he is a great – no, the greatest father ever. Mr. Derp took over the blog to let everyone know he spent last evening telling his daughter she was the snowflakiest snowflake that ever snowflaked. Then suddenly, emotions!

I thought she had fallen asleep, but then I heard her bring her hand up to her face and move it back and forth…I got worried and cracked open the window curtain only to see her eyes wet. “Eleanor, are you OK?” No answer. “Eleanor, were you crying?” She nodded. “Were you crying because you were happy or sad?” “Happy,” she whispered back.

He explained that even though he spent most of his super entrepreneurially employed days giving his children “feedback and coaching”, he feels it important to have special Snowflake Building Time (or whatever parents call it) to let them know how amazeca$h they are. And since the entire family depends on the blog to provide most of their money, though Josh initially felt the moment was “so special I thought to keep it to myself” obviously he had to post about it; because if a blogger parents their children and doesn’t smear it all over the internet, did it really happen?

Ugh, how depressing to be those kids. They can’t even go to bed and decompress without Emperor Derp up in their face yammering about his feels until they cry, and then using it as blog fodder.

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Internets Mommy Blogging

World Prays As Dooce Continues To Recover From Texting Injury

In shocking health news, Dooce, ever bravely suffering, has revealed she’s been bravely suffering from a horrible, painful injury for months.

One Saturday afternoon in early August I texted so much and so furiously that I woke up the next morning with a shooting pain in my right thumb. I could barely move it and began texting with my index and middle fingers.

Telling a nurse she “texted too hard”, Dooce was able to bravely make it to a sports doctor who gave her a shot of prednisone and sent her home to bravely suffer and freak out on twitter.

It seems Dooce’s thumb requires more pain management, even after a second trip to the doctor for more shots. Saying she has “become fascinated by the human capacity to endure pain”, she went on to compare her hand x-ray to her mother’s cancer treatment before telling us she is “now exploring other doctors and options” to deal with her incapacitating situation.

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Mommy Blogging

The Internet Totally Believes That Wife’s Profit Margin

She should invest those profits in gold futures.

She should invest those profits in gold futures.

Jenna Cole, work at home mom, has put up yet another post talking about working from home. Saying she spends her days doing “things” on some mysterious “list”, she then goes on to brag about the super profitable profits she made in profitable moneys this year.

Working for myself, writing, setting my hours and schedule, incredible flexibility, developing and achieving my goals, and most of all, taking pictures are all things that I’d like to keep doing indefinitely. We’ll see if I’m able to scale my profits up from where they currently sit ($24,000 for this year) in order to justify me doing this long-term.

She attempted to clarify in a comment that “the 24k is gross not net. I’ll have to figure out how to double that somehow if I want to match a decent wage for living in the Bay Area.”

Apparently in Jennaland $48k take home is a “decent wage” for a film purchasing, $11 dollar a gallon milk drinking, two kids in daycare, cocktail guzzling mom in the Bar Area – though I suppose it could be when your husband is paying all the actual bills. Oh the life of the married upper middle class blogger!

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Mommy Blogging WTF

That Wife Will Encourage Her Children In Imaginative Play

vibroplay2

Jenna Cole, That Weirdo, snapped an adorable photo of her children today. They are playing “robot massager game” which teaches them sharing and how to put mommy’s vibrator on their face.

Mothers of the world, enlighten me – is this a normal thing you would share with the world? Because I tend to think this is  major overshare. Maybe Jenna should save such moments to share as private anecdotes to tell her closest friends and family instead of posting them where her kids’ future classmates and prom dates can find them.

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