Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

That Wife Is Now A Nudist

twnudist

Jenna Cole, 1/16 Jewish, is now 15/16th nudist. This weekend the uber feminist code warrior WAHM went out to a beach and ripped off her clothes and sobbed into the sand.

I felt my skin warming and the waves spraying and the wind kissing in a way I had never felt before, and it wasn’t long before I turned my back up to the sun so I could bury my face in my towel and cry…And then my new nudist friend Robert (who is somewhere around sixty years old and has an incredible ability to have a twenty minute conversation with a naked woman and not let his eyes wander once) photographed me using my iPhone…

Jenna ended her weekend of nudity by slamming drinks and writing code.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

301

Mommy Blogging

Love Taza Is Not An Expert On Bicycle Laws

Love Taza, mama to littles, just loves doing everything as a family. This week the Love Taza show went out for a bike ride, as a family.

tazabike

The ride included strapping their 7 month old into a bike seat and slapping on a helmet that is clearly the correct size in order to wheel around an island metropolis with some of the most insane traffic in North America.

But apparently Taza isn’t familiar with the bicycle laws in this little city of hers. The New York State Department of Transportation says:

Children under 1 are prohibited from being transported on a bicycle (Sec. 1238(1)(2)).

Of course silly things like laws can’t be acknowledged when there’s content to generate. When a few fangirls asked wtf she was thinking, Taza claimed (in a now apparently deleted comment) that her son’s pediatrician said it was totally okay. She then waved away further criticism on the matter by providing a disclaimer on her post.

…i know the age varies a lot online about when little ones can or should begin to bike with you, so it’s always just best to consult with your pediatricians as they know your child best and if he or she is strong enough, able enough to ride along with you. i’m not an expert on anything around this topic…

I know mommies are exempt from any judging ever but…don’t you think a mom who loves being a mom to her littles in this little city of theirs would know and follow the laws about this sort of thing? And obviously bloggers are special snowflakes and above the rules that apply to those of us who must drudge through this mortal coil without internet headpats; but at some point – maybe when you’re pushing 30 and are a mother of 3 – it stops being cute to giggle and do a kewpie doll pose and do some “golly garsh I just didn’t know! just sharing my life! here’s an affiliate link to our clothes!”

Seriously, I’d like to know when “his pediatrician says it’s ok” started superseding state traffic laws. Maybe I should become a popular lifestyle blogger! Then the next time I don’t feel like curbing my dog I can just smile and say his vet says it’s ok to let him crap on your foot.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

268

Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

‘Stiletto Me Up’ Charged With Extortion

Egreis Gjergjani, the blogger behind Stiletto Me Up, has apparently been charged with extortion and witness tampering in Orange County, FL.

The crux of the charges seems to be that her stepmother noticed “suspicious activity” on her credit report and “suspected” “Shoe Queen” Egreis was responsible. The stepmother filed two reports with the police about her suspicions. The stepmother alleges that at this point, Eggy called her stepmother and said her father had sent her a sex tape of himself and the stepmother, and if the stepmother didn’t drop all the charges, Eggy would release the tape on the internet.

smu2

Click to enlarge

After repeated questions on her instagram, she finally made a statement about the matter.

smu1

She also apparently made other statements on instagram claiming this was “nothing but retaliation” for her father filing for divorce from her stepmother.

Egreis was arrested and shortly after posted bail. She then apparently went out to shop and post gramworthy pics of herself at a mall or something.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

158

Mommy Blogging

That Wife Having THE Most Awful Two Days Ever

Jenna Cole, wannabe coder, just couldn’t catch a break this week. After being unable to get on the plane to Poland because her son’s passport status wasn’t up to par, she spent the last few days trying desperately to get everyone’s passports in order. She finally had to give up and spent yesterday “day drinking” while on the phone with the airline trying to “recoup costs”. Because, alas, it seems the entire passport computer system is down or something and Jenna will not be taking Gollum smile selfies in Greece.

The state department issued a notice last week about technical issues they’re having and this morning a very nice man at the passport agency patiently spoke around my sobs as he delivered the news that they had no idea when the passport would be printed…if we hadn’t struggled with getting the notarized form faxed over and confirmed we might have been able to get it printed in time (like the woman right behind me in line this morning).

She then thanked the random mom who hugged her as she ran “out of the building red-faced and tear-stricken”, and says she is now “reconfiguring” their “summer plans”.

Some very nice people have made this awful 48 hour period bearable. And I guess that’s the end of the very short-lived #euroand15 hashtag. Antio Greece dreams.

I can’t think of a more awful 48 hour period. When I think of all the missed sexy bathing suit poses and selfies of Jenna drinking jug wine with Athina Onassis I just tear up inside. But hey, more SF summer day drinking for Jenna! All is not lost!

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

170

Internets Mommy Blogging

Matt Walsh Thinks Caitlyn Jenner Pic Is A “Monstrosity”

Matt Walsh, still talking for some reason, has pronounced Bruce Jenner’s transformation into Caitlyn an “insult to women”. First, he calls Caitlyn’s Vanity Fair cover a “horrifying” “fiction”.

Indeed, everyone is treating a disturbing Photoshopped picture of a mentally disordered grandfather dressed up as a college girl like it’s mankind’s greatest achievement since spaceflight. Once again, there is a virtually unanimous public agreement that “transgender” people like Bruce Jenner are heroes and saints and and messiahs, and should be worshiped…The truth is, I get so sickened and infuriated by this kind of madness…

He then gadded over to another blog to post another 45 million words about how women should be personally offended by the whole thing. Saying “Bruce Jenner is not a woman in any sense or to any extent”, Matt called the sight “tragic” and thinks “It’s just wrong. Disgusting, frankly.” He then tries to tell feminists that ““transgenderism” is a direct assault on their entire worldview” and claims transgenderism and feminism “cannot coexist”.

You know what else cannot coexist? “Matt Walsh” and “Not Being a Clickbait Douchelord”.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

360