Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Natalie Now Is Pregnant

Natalie Hill Jensen, the former Mormon In Manhattan turned Mormon In Utah, has finally announced she is carrying a future Broadway Famous Performer.


She says “pregnancy has really flatlined me- (princess Kate & I have so much in common…)”. She also claims they are not learning the sex of the baby “which is infuriating EVERYONE”, as if the planet has been waiting for this event for years and is slobbering to get the details on this world famous baby. I guess we’ll just have to see how long she can resist the attention of “gender” reveal parties and showing off pink baby leotards for little Ginger Rogers Hill-Jensen.

Looks like her days of traipsing around NYC every month eating like a homeless person are over. How long until she becomes a mommy blogger, do you think?



Mommy Blogging

CecilyK Has No Problem With Her Daughter Being Sexy

Cecily Kellogg, not a blogger but goes to blog conferences, is still ‘writing’. Since ‘leaving’ Babble, she has found a new venue where she can share her stories of exemplary parenting. She’s now over at Yahoo! Parenting talking about Halloween costumes for tweens.

Tweens are supposed to experiment with their sexuality. It’s normal.

She then dives into some long ramble about how, back in Shakespeare’s time, there were no tweens or teenagers. Unfortunately better nutrition and the fact that it’s no longer the 16th century have forced modern 9-18 year olds to ignore their body yearnings or something.

So basically, you’ve got sexually mature humans forced to live under a newly-constructed definition of “child” and behave accordingly. This conflicts with every signal they’re getting from their own bodies.

She goes on to qualify all of this by saying HER 9 year old “isn’t yet thinking about being sexy” but once she’s 10 or 11 that will change. And she’s cool with that.

In a year or two I might wince a bit if she decides to wear a “hoochie” short skirt as part of her costume and suggest she wears leggings to keep warm, but I’m not going to tell her she’s wrong for wanting to experiment with looking pretty and, yes, even sexy — because she’s just being being a normal kid.

I just…I don’t even know, guys.



Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Mommy Wants Vodka Felt Her Femur Just Like, Shatter


Aunt Becky, broke her hip or something, has now provided a timeline and explanation of sorts for her bizarre injuries.

Aunt Becky claims she “felt” her femur “fracture” while she was just “standing up, talking to a friend”. When someone asked how doctors didn’t see this injury, Becky replied:

They x-rayed it both times and saw nothing. I was sent home saying it was a bone bruise and a script for pain meds.

She then says she “went to inpatient rehab for PT and OT” on September 28, and by October 6 said “I am going home. I cannot wait.” Later that same day she said she’ll “be recovering from this a long…time”, though after another x-ray yesterday she reports “Turns out? My femur is working hard to get this b**** off her walker/wheelchair and back to kicking ass and takings [sic]“.

That’s not how any of this works gif here.



Mommy Blogging

Sadie Jane Understands Important World Problems

Sadie Jane, some mom who lost weight, is doing a lot of thinking this weekend.

I feel like the entire world is under attack right now. Millions of sad and precious children in Syria sleep in streets alone, young college students are being executed for believing in Christ, and cyberbullying is ripping us mothers and women apart one comment after another on all media platforms.

Now read it again. She just ranked mean comments about mommies up there with being executed for your faith and the atrocities of the refugee crisis. Add to this that the message comes to you from her room at a mountain lodge during her weekend getaway and you’ve got a nice big pile of ‘perspective, wtf?’ to enjoy.



Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Barefoot Blonde Found A Way To Deal With Shirtgate

Amber Fillerup, the barefoot and pregnant blonde, put up a sponsored laundry detergent post yesterday that caused quite the drama. It seems her baby was wearing a shirt that resembled the concentration camp uniform Jews were forced to wear during the Holocaust.

After being alerted to the issue Amber responded in a (now apparently deleted) comment that if the “photos are invoking horrific feelings upon you then I am sorry and I will not be offended if you do not come back to my website”. Meanwhile her fangirls defended her with remarks like “the real truth is the holocaust was entirely blown out of proportion” and “A stripey baby outfit with a star! Someone call the wahmbulance!”

Amber finally dealt with Shirtgate by pulling out the clone stamp tool.


Amber clarified her comment by later tossing out the classic sorry-you-feel-that-way comeback.

I am really sorry if it offends you!…I am sorry though if it resembling a Star of David offends you, that is obviously not my intention.

She then went on to say she “will look into it” when a commenter brought up last week’s WGN-TV scandal.