Jennifer Perillo, a food blogger, recently lost her husband. Given the impression that his death had left her and her two small daughters nearly destitute, the tightly knit food blogging community generously banded together to raise over $60,000 to help support her in her widowhood.
Well it turns out the fundraising group allegedly overstated the extent of her financial need. Commenters on a post about how she’s grieving through food are practically accusing her of fraud:
“I agree that Jennifer does have the right to grieve in her own way, and there’s nothing wrong with traveling or spending her own money how she sees fit.
The problem is that people were led to believe that she and her daughters were in immediate financial crisis. People donated $70k because it was implied that they were losing their health insurance and their home! It’s evident from her tweets that she’s not only not in any financial crisis, but that she has plenty of disposable income and is probably much better off than many of the people who donated. I think it’s morally wrong to trick people into donating money. She should have returned it to the donors or given it to charity.”“You’re right… I’ve never walked in her $800 boots. Perhaps she’d like to step out in my $13 Keds? Shauna Ahern told people she was LOSING HER HOME. I wonder how many would have donated to her “fund” if they had known the truth of Ms. Perillo’s financial situation?”
Other commenters are defending the way Jennifer is spending her money and telling those who feel grifted…well, in a nutshell, tough luck:
“If you don’t like the way Jen is spending her money, fine. Don’t like it. Then you shouldn’t have given her any in the first place. Not that it seems that any of you commenting gave her anything at all. You just sound furious on principal. Or perhaps furious out of jealousy.”
We continue to be shocked at how people get money out of people on the internet. There are good, hardworking bloggers (many unemployed – and not by choice) who can’t even manage to afford a box of ramen, and people like Anthroholic and Jennifer allegedly scam thousands out of people who trust them. With people like this supposedly bilking people left and right, no wonder it’s so hard to make money just blogging anymore. If this keeps up I may have to start offering personal styling services as well, because nobody will ever donate to GOMI again.
I don’t really feel bad for people who give money to random strangers on the internet for stuff like this. There’s been 10,000 scams of this nature, but people still feel like they’re smart enough to not get ripped off. Guess what- you aren’t. It’s too easy. If you want to be sure your money will help people, donate to reputable organizations, not people. Otherwise, you might as well just pretend you set your money on fire.
THANK YOU. I didn’t really feel bad for those scammed in the Anthro DEFCON 1 CRISIS OF THE YEAR and I don’t feel bad for these poor schmucks either. If you’re willing to give your money to an individual, you have to be okay with the possibility that that person may not use the funds as you intended. Otherwise, stick to the Red Cross and call it a day.
*takes your wine*
Perhaps you will reconsider your position now, nez chay paw?
UNHAND THE WINE
Hate to break it to you, but Red Cross is a bit of a scam.
The president of Red Cross rakes in approximately $500,000/year in income. That’s just the president.
Actually, that’s a reasonable salary for that position and an organization the size of the Red Cross. i work for a non-profit w/ an operating budget of $2.1 million and the E.D. makes $100K.
I think what people are MOST pissed about it that Jennifer never — NOT ONCE — said thank you. Never wrote a “Thank You” blog post. Never Tweeted a thank you. Never acknowledged the donations or said how grateful she was.
To get nearly $80,000 (whether you asked for it to be raised or not) and not say “thank you?” She could’ve held off on one of her many shoe-shopping trips to acknowledge the cash.
That’s why I think this is fishy beyond belief. I didn’t donate a cent because it all sounded too hyperbolic to me when they kicked off the fundraising campaign. Something stinks about this.
There has been international, unsolicited support – written and monetary – for her tragic brutal loss. Her amazing gift of writing has moved and inspired us all the world wide, but after the JFK assasination, even Jackie Kennedy, in less than 1 month, took the time to thank her supporting public. My heart has broken for her and her beautiful little girls, but as we all deal with the tragedies, unfairness and hardships of life, but i must agree, it has been surprising that not even one of herr posts could have been “thank you to the unexpected kindness of strangers”.
A thank-you was posted, dated 10/21.
http://www.injennieskitchen.com/2011/10/thank-you.html
I saw something somewhere from someone else saying that Jennifer is really grateful for the money and the kindness of strangers blah blah but yeah you’re right, nothing from her directly. Which is pretty blatantly rude, imo.
The kicker is, by pointing out the obvious – that people are often all too willing to give based on a sad story – you get branded “EVIL!!!” It’s sad she lost her husband, yes – but seriously, 60k to someone who didn’t NEED it to survive? Seriously?
“She just learned that she cannot collect widow’s benefits from Social Security because she earns too much money each year. ”
SHE EARNS TOO MUCH MONEY, LET’S GIVE HER 70 THOUSAND DOLLARS GUYS.
THAT PART KILLED ME. Your husband’s tragic death does not ENTITLE you to get 500 dollar shoes and new furniture because you are sad. Just…GRRRRRR.
I’ve seen it happen time and time again on internet communities. People get fired up to “help” someone, and questioning the victim’s need or the validity of the “help” being provided will get your crucified. It’s incredible.
It’s happening right now on that post- “I’m so sorry, Petunia, that the way in which Jennifer is grieving does not match your expectations of how a widow is supposed to act. But frankly I think you leaving that comment – anonymously no less – was just about the rudest and most cowardly thing I’ve ever seen. I wanted to reach out to you in a non-public way before responding to your comment on our site, and give you a chance to take it back, but you’re hiding. That tells me a lot about you.” Real nice, Angel Amy.
I disagree. People comment anonymously to prevent being harassed. As Jennie clearly said, people read her blog who say stuff like “I’m glad your husband’s dead”. The commenter was fair and not profane or excessively unkind. Unfortunately, that’s not enough to ensure that she wouldn’t have been bombarded with angry emails or whatever else. Jennie is going through a horrible thing, and so I forgive her for how badly she’s acted in allowing the money to be solicited under false pretenses and in attacking commenters who rightly felt cheated. I understand, but she’s still wrong.
Uhm, I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate in regards to her income working against her ~ it should only affect the amount paid out. There are also circumstances which provide for lump-sum distribution for survivors, all predicated on the deceased having earned enough work credits to begin with, of course.
From the SSA website:
Who is eligible for survivors benefits
* A widow or widower at any age if he or she takes care of the deceased’s child who is under age 16 or disabled, and receiving Social Security benefits
* Unmarried children under 18, or up to age 19 if they are attending high school full time
I don’t know anything about this blogger, but I’ve been around long enough to know that handing wads of cash to a grieving person does not necessarily bring out their most rationale side. She’s likely going to regret not having set aside that money for tough times, & that’s really too damn bad for her kids sake.
Really? Perhaps she can throw up another Boo Hoo post and spare little Johnny the harsh reality of community college because he deserves to go to Harvard dammit!
Grifters like this don’t know when to stop, and why should they? There’s a sucker clicking through every minute.
I was going to mention this earlier but don’t know all the specifics. After my dad’s death, my stepmom got something like $2,000 per child until my half-brother and sister were 18. She and my dad both earned plenty so it seems like either Jennifer is earning something astronomical or something was off here. Widow’s benefits may be different but I just can’t see how she wouldn’t get money for the children.
While I’m somewhat appalled by this, I can’t say I’m surprised. I have to at least partially agree with the “tough luck” commenter (though not on the “oh you’re just jealous” part because people who say that are typically assholes).
After the NE flooding due to Hurricane Irene, a bunch of tumblrs donated more than $2k to another tumblr whose power had been out for a few days after she posted about applying for food stamps. The next weekend she posted about going to a water park, making me incredibly glad I hadn’t opened my wallet.
With the Perillo situation, they gave money to someone they didn’t know and later felt duped. HOW SHOCKING.
Are you referring to rosasparks?
I am. And before I get attacked, I’m not saying she didn’t deserve to go to the water park, or even that Jennifer doesn’t deserve her $600 boots if that’s something she wanted and can (obviously) afford. Just that you can’t control how someone spends the money you fork over to them.
As someone who donated, I don’t mind how she spent it. I gave to help out someone I “know” who happened into unfortunate circumstances.
I also agree with you 100% though. If you’re giving someone a gift to do with as they please, you can’t turn around and cry foul when they do just that.
What’s that old saying? A fool and his money will soon be parted?
Don’t give money to people you’ve never met on the Internet and expect to be rewarded by what they choose to do with it.
I take more issue with the people who organized the fundraiser, than with Jennifer. Though, it does take an enormous lack of self awareness to take to Twitter like she has when she was just gifted such a huge amount of money.
Well, she is grieving. People don’t always make the best decisions when they’re in pain. Another reason not to drop huge piles of unrestricted money into their laps.
That’s true. People do some really strange things while grieving.
Some of the 9/11 widows had the same issue- all sorts of money fell into their laps.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=843920&page=1
Thanks for posting that link. A lot of people deal with grief — especially unexpected death — by becoming completely reckless, doing drugs, having lots of sex with random people, spending money like crazy because they just got hit with the message that there is no tomorrow to save for. I feel really sad for Jennifer and I wish her friends would back off with the fundraising efforts and sob stories because it’s exposing her (and her spending habits) to scrutiny and scorn. I clicked on the donate button on Gluten Free Girl and it goes to Blogger Without Borders… who knows if Jennifer has actually spent or even seen any of that money?
A girl I knew in school went absolutely crazy after she survived a plane crash. She was a good Baptist girl previously, daughter of the music minister. After the crash she got settlement money and started spending like crazy, doing drugs and partying. I guess it was a combination of survivor’s guilt and realizing she should have fun while she could.
Seriously. I’m sure if my husband died unexpectedly, buying a pair of crazy expensive shoes might sound pretty reasonable. Imagine being brokenhearted-if you think a trip or a pair of shoes might help alleviate the pain, the cost wouldn’t be an issue. even if that is a terrible life plan, overall.
Yeah but you’er missing the whole point: She did it on DONATED money.
No she didn’t… as stated below, she hasn’t received the GFG/BWB funds yet.
What I don’t get is that people who receive money ALWAYS post what asinine thing they are spending it on EVERY SINGLE TIME. Is your sense of entitlement so strong that you can’t think “hmmm. maybe I shouldn’t broadcast all the dumb shit I bought “?
I’m confused… I’ve been reading Jennifer’s blog for a while and I haven’t seen her make any claims about how destitute she is on it. Maybe other bloggers (Bloggers Without Borders?) got caught up in soliciting donations and Jennifer was too busy attending to other things (like her grieving children) to pay much attention.
Trust me, I don’t go around giving money to strangers over the Internet because I’m wary of scams, but I also don’t want to run off and compare Jennifer to Anthroholic, who was a repeat liar who came very close to committing (or actually did commit) a felony by exploiting her readers’ greedy desire for ugly, cheap clothes.
You’re right — she never asked for the money. Other bloggers started tweeting and blogging about it. Shauna Ahern (Gluten Free Girl) was the ringleader. She Tweeted things like “Jennifer is going to lose her house and health insurance!” And her 90,000 followers believed her. It was a freight train of lies and deception.
That is disgusting. She basically won the lottery because her husband died.
I wouldn’t call $70K a good trade-off for my spouse dying and leaving me with two children.
It’s one thing if she were in dire need of money to stay afloat. That is NOT the case, so yeah, she basically got handed 70K by people because her husband died. The internet is not a life insurance company and if you accept that kind of money and redecorate your new apartment with it after people gave it thinking your kids would be without insurance, then sorry but you’re an asshole.
But who knows what the deal is. That’s why the post title has a question mark at the end. Maybe she will clear all the accusations up at some point.
Exactly, PP. I didn’t mean to come off as a cold hearted bitch or anything, because it’s really awful and now her children don’t have a dad. But plenty of people (who probably need money more than she does, not for nothing) have a spouse die and don’t get internet handouts from it.
I also don’t mean to be a cold hearted bitch here, but it seems people are questioning why they were told this woman would be up a creek when it doesn’t seem to be the case, and they understandably want to know exactly wtf they donated for. I’m not saying she conspired to defraud people out of money so she could buy out Barney’s, I’m saying this is obviously a concern that is going around and she should maybe address it.
Yeah, but you called her Jennifake in the post. What’s the point of having a question mark then? It’s like those NY Post headlines where they get away with calling someone a rapist because they put quotation marks around the word “rape.”
THIS^
oops. referring to $70k is NOT a good trade off for losing a spouse.
I never said it was a “good trade off.” Please don’t put words in my mouth, thanks.
Jennifer Perillo may have had very little input on the fundraiser itself–I fault the organizers (especially some individuals, such as Gluten-Free Girl, who seem to have exaggerated the case wildly) for putting together something so unnecessary and patting themselves on the back for it. Though it would have been more tasteful for Ms. Perillo to then openly donate the funds to a heart disease foundation or a real charity.
Yeah, I’m not a follower of Jennie and only heard about what happened through other bloggers (GFG and 3 Many Cooks, mostly). I was definitely under the impression (based on what was written) that her husband was the breadwinner and this money was going to be used for their kids and blah blah blah….but I also can’t fault Jennie on how the money is being spent (if it has gotten to her) simply because I have never been in her position and have no way of knowing how I would react if I was.
Yeah, but COME ON. She could’ve said, “Hey, this is great, I really appreciate it but don’t do this.”
Oh heck yes, I think she should have said that (or should still say that now … I don’t think she’s ever posted anything public about the fundraising efforts).
This is really simple.
Either she knew about the fundraising project and the claims being used to obtain donations and knew it was exaggerated but let it stay there anyway, in which case, um, FOUL; or she knew nothing about it at all, was informed of the things being done on her behalf after the shit storm broke, and decided the best way to handle it was to put the money in an account for her daughters rather than embarrass her fellow bloggers by saying “uh I had nothing to do with this and I don’t know why they are claiming these things”.
Either way…she should maaaaaaaaaaaybe clear up wtf just went down.
She couldn’t have not known about it. She has been on Twitter tweeting about her husband’s death since the day it happened and was included in many of the tweets about the fundraising efforts from the start. So yeah she knew about it.
I don’t get why people are giving this bidge a pass. Fine it’s dumb to part with your money to some internet stranger but I’m sure there was an element of trust built up with her readers and she exploited it. She doesn’t get a pass because some of her readers are both sympathetic and dumb. She should have never accepted such large sums of money if she clearly did not need it, and it’s questionable she should have accepted it even if she DID. Have some damn dignity.
I’ve read In Jennie’s Kitchen for a while, and followed each post since her husband died. I haven’t seen any pleas for money or woe-is-me rants about her financial situation. It’s just been reflections on her grief, with a few recipes in the more recent posts. If anything, I think Gluten Free Girl is at fault here. She’s the one who wrote the “poor (literally) Jennifer” post and she’s the one who is collecting money. Has the money even made it to Jennifer?
I don’t read either of those blogs but if that is the case she should not take the money. If she didn’t ask for it and she doesn’t need it, she definitely should not accept it.
Exactly. Why accept it? Accepting it was obviously wrong. Regardless of if she asked for it or not. I don’t even like accepting extravagant gifts from family/people I know/men I am dating.
Exactly.
Everyone wants to put the question mark on the fundraisers and give Jennifer a pass because “omg she’s grieving!” Maybe she had NO hand in the fundraiser and NO input into it and NO knowledge until she was handed 70 grand. In that case the correct thing to do (if she was not in the dire straits portrayed) would be to thank people for their generosity and make it very clear that she is not days away from the almshouse as the organisers were implying, ask that no further donations be taken on her behalf, maybe set the money aside for her children to go to college – at the very least something less akin to the “WOOHOO MONEYS! I’ma get me some SHOES and go eat a steak and buy some furniture and take a monthly trip motherfuckers!” crap that is going on over on her twitter.
She did not win the lottery. People around the world – some probably in worse financial situations than her – gave money under the impression that she and her children would be without health insurance and a home. To say “well they gave it and she can spend it on what she wants and she never said she was destitute!” is so dismissive of what people are taking issue with. Even if she herself never said she needed the money, by accepting the money and allowing such implied statements to go unchallenged on the various blogs calling for donations she is complicit in allowing that impression to stand. And if she has not yet received any of the funds then she should address this somehow and either explain how she intends to use it or at least clear up whether she has been using the funds to go on a spending spree.
THAT is what people are taking issue with, not the fact that her husband died and maybe she hoped a new pair of 800 dollar boots would perk her up.
I agree with everything. But I would actually take issue with her spending it on $800 boots. That is wrong on so many levels, dead husband or no. You don’t accept money from strangers who think you are financially in trouble or grieving and go buy expensive boots. Not in my moral universe.
I agree with what you wrote, but I’m going to hold off on calling her a “bidge” or accusing her of treating her husband’s sudden death as winning the lottery until I see how this plays out.
OK, I didn’t realize that she hadn’t even gotten the money yet. Blogs that I normally love reading (Serious Eats, Three Many Cooks) posted about this and were soliciting donations so there definitely needs to be some clarification going on ASAP if this really is just a big misunderstanding.
I have no idea if she has received any money yet. That (among other things) is what I hope someone will clear up.
This actually makes me super sad. I don’t really know Jennifer’s story and have never read her blog but the idea that someone could ruin soemthing like this is pretty devastating. I was absolutely amazed at all the people that pulled together for Susan at The Great Balancing Act when she was diagnosed with cancer and unsure of how much she would have to pay out of pocket. She was so gracious and vowed to donate any leftover funds to cancer programs. It’s a shame that one person’s actions in a similar situation could hinder future efforts to people that actually need, and appreciate, other’s help.
I’ve been following this all along and have not seen anything from Jennifer about her financial situation. Glutenfree Girl (Shauna Ahern) posted that she could lose her home because the title was in her husband’s name only (why??) and I think something about health insurance for the kids, too. Another blogger said that her husband really wanted her to be able to blog about food for a living, and that as much as anything else spurred the food blogger community to donate. Food blogging for a living seems like a real luxury to me. It’s not as if the world needs another food blog, for godsakes. The market is more than saturated with food blogs.
Bloggers Without Borders sort of oversaw (big SORT OF) the auctions but as far as I can tell there has been no accounting for them and no followup. They provided little to no information about tax issues with donations. They have also not put forth anywhere near this kind of effort for individuals and groups who have needed help far worse than Jennifer Perillo. I think if you’re going to put yourself out there as an aid organization, you should at least have the basic framework in place for these kinds of issues.
“Donations” to an individual person aren’t tax-deductible. They’re a gift, not a donation.
Well that’s interesting because BWB has this on its website:
“Bloggers without Borders is a newly-incorporated nonprofit organization and we are in the process of filing our application for recognition of tax-exempt status with the IRS, which can take up to 10 months. The law allows tax-exempt status to be retroactive to the date of incorporation.
If you wish to declare your donation as tax-deductible on your income or gift tax returns, please complete the form below.”
So I guess if you sent money directly to Perillo, it’s not tax-exempt but if you send it to the organization (and I use that term losely) that sort of hosted the whole thing, then it is exempt? But they say they are “in the process” of filling out their application for tax-exempt status, so who knows.
Bloggers Without Borders doesn’t show up in the IRS database of approved 501c3s or pending 501c3s.
Hmmmm…..
Donations would need to be made TO a non-profit organization “IN HONOR OF:____”.
Whether donations in this particular case become eligible for tax-deduction remains to be seen, but if & when the organization itself doesn’t provide disclosure of disbursements to previous & potential donors, something is already questionable.
IF they were handling donations in such a way as to bear up under scrutiny, the way to go would be to process disbursement of funds in such a way that they’re w/out doubt used for the intended purpose, i.e. sent directly to the mortgage company or for incurred health care costs.
It all sounds pretty damn shady at first blush, not that I’m convinced the person on the receiving end is most at fault ~ this shenanigan deserves an audit.
It’s been established that Jennifer was at least aware of the fundraising on her behalf and there are no signs she stepped in to say “actually we won’t be homeless” and no hints that the BWOB people intended to clarify what the use of the money would be until this post had been up a couple of hours. Sorry but something does not seem right about this whole thing, but I’ll wait to see if there is more information available.
Gotcha. I take issue w/ the fact that people were led to believe they were keeping a roof over head &/or keeping kids insured. The right thing to do would be to contact each donor & ask if they prefer that their money go into a college fund or be refunded ~ the first obligation is to prove that donations aren’t used for anything except their intended purpose.
Also, what about the tax implications? I wonder if Jennifer is prepared to pay income tax on this windfall?
Jennifer is the one who tweeted about possibly losing her health insurance and her home. I’m not going to go back to see if those tweets are still there because I suspect she’s erased them but she did tweet it so even though Shauna annoys me to no end, stop blaming her for the posts. It was Jennie who initially said it.