Many of you have no doubt heard about the tragic assault on Jenn Gibbons, the woman attempting to raise $150,000 for breast cancer charity by rowing 1,500 miles around Lake Michigan solo. According to the Daily Mail:
Police believe her attacker may have carefully tracked her movement through her blog, waiting until she was vulnerable to strike.
In the early morning hours of July 22, Miss Gibbons was staying along Lake Michigan in Mueller Township, Schoolcraft County.
She said that a man broke into the cabin of her boat and raped her – identifying her by her full name.
‘It was terrifying. He told me he knew where to find me,’ she said.
Despite this terrible event Jenn is going to finish her row around the lake, saying “I still believe that there are more good people in the world than bad” though on the Row4ROW blog she states she “will no longer be alone” in order to ensure her safety. The Row4ROW website includes information about the horrible event and the perpetrator:
Jenn was set to row to Beaver Island on Sunday morning but was attacked and sexually assaulted by a man in the early morning hours. The attack occurred in an area south of Gulliver along Lake Michigan in Mueller Township, Schoolcraft County, Mich. Investigators have reason to believe the assailant traveled a significant distance to commit the assault. The suspect is described as a white male in his 30s, approximately 5’8” to 6’ tall, with a fair amount of facial stubble hair, but not a full beard nor mustache. The man has light eyes, an average to athletic build and shorter well-kept hair. He was wearing a grayish green t-shirt, jean shorts and tennis shoes. A bright yellow Jeep Wrangler was seen in the area. It has a spare tire on the back with a yellow smiley face on it. Investigators are seeking information about this vehicle.
Michigan State Police have also released a sketch of the suspect:
If you have any information or leads, we encourage you to contact the Michigan State Police at 1-866-411-0018. If you would like to donate to Row4ROW and help support Jenn’s bravery in continuing her journey, click here.
Thank you for posting this PP :)!
Yes, PP – I think that getting this news out, along with the rapist’s photo, to as many people as possible is terrifically important. Thanks for using your platform for this purpose!
This is horrible. My heart goes out to her.
I echo what the above posters have said. Thank you for posting this Partypants.
very sad and scary.
I hate people
I like animals so much more.
Yes. And yes, again.
It wasn’t “PEOPLE” that stalked, assaulted and raped her. It was a MAN.
Please stop hiding WHO does this violence to women. MEN do.
I hope she stops publicly tracking her movements….even with the extra person there are clearly a lot of sickos out there.
Agreed. Hopefully people who undergo similar endeavors in the future will take that precaution too.
They aren’t “sickos”. They are ordinary MEN. Men who work with you, live with you, went to school with you, are in the shops, offices, and stores you frequent. Why are YOU blaming the woman???
This is the fault of the MAN who did this, and the SOCIETY that hides what he did, and people who BLAME THE WOMEN.
This is so awful. My heart goes out to her.
this is pretty rich considering you post dooces home address.
Oh please; just don’t.
Considering Dooce posts her own home address, I’d say you need to just step back.
I guess the phonebook is liable then too. OH MY GOD. THE HUMANITY.
Have some respect for Jenn Gibbons, crawl out of Heather Armstrong’s ass, and get the fuck off this thread.
This.
Unfortunately for Jenn, I’m so cynical these days about anyone (who is already courting publicity) claiming to be attacked.
There was that hitchhiker who turned out to have shot himself, the lesbian couple who spray painted homophobic slurs on their own garage, and the self-injuring skateboarder who said he was attacked by a mob. All within the last month!
I hope a legitimate investigation was done, and if her report is factual, that they catch the guy.
That’s really unfortunate that you would believe something like that. Sadly it seems that most people don’t realize that only 46 out of every 100 rapes are actually reported. Many times the victim will find fault in their own actions and make it out to be their fault, and not report the happening. Even more sickening is that only 3 of those attackers will end up spending any length of time in jail. (http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates)
MY attacker never got so much as arrested because I didn’t say no during the attack. Why did I not say anything? Because I feared for my life if I resisted in any way. My rape was reported to the police, and unfortunately the law was not on my side so my attacker still walks the streets. It’s the women who have sex then regret it and claim they were raped that let my attacker walk. I never got justice and that haunts me every day. Jenn deserves justice, no matter what the circumstances are because no one should have to live a life of fear. No one should have to know what a life of fear feels like.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. One of my good friends is going through a rough situation, also. She was raped and her rapist was found guilty and sentenced to 20 years in prison… only to find out he had cut off his ankle monitor and WALKED OUT of the courtroom minutes before. He is still at large, and now she is the one under house arrest and constant surveillance because the authorities feel he will attempt to kill her. Now she has to deal with all of his supporters claiming she wasn’t raped because she also didn’t say no out of fear for her life. Although the video (oh yeah, this asshole filmed the whole thing, though it certainly helped in the trial) showed she clearly was NOT consenting.
Anyway, my heart goes out to you for not getting the justice you deserve.
That is one of the most horrible things I’ve ever read. I am so sorry your friend is going through this. I hope they catch that asshole and slap on another 20 years.
It’s one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever heard of, made even worse knowing what a sweet and wonderful girl she is. While I think falsely claiming rape is one of the most selfish things you can do to someone, it is NOT okay to automatically assume one is lying about it. SO many rapes go unreported due to shame, and fear of being called a liar. There’s a good chance those rapists then go on to create new victims. EVERY person who has the courage to come forward on a sexual assault should be treated with respect, until it is proven it did not happen (if it actually didn’t, of course).
Holy shit. My heart goes out to your friend, HeyYouGuys. I cannot imagine being in such an awful situation. I hope with time she’s able to put her life back together and overcome this. And to CocoBeef, and everybody who’s ever been raped…”I feel for you” seems so inadequate.
Good on Jenn for continuing her endeavor. And fuck that asshole who raped her.
CocoBeef:
I agree with you that the cynicism is unfortunate, but the way our justice system was formed (flawed as it may be) is that until evidence is presented we don’t really know what happened.
The rape data you provided is also skewed, because it assumes that all 100 of those men are guilty of rape. When I read the full article you linked to it assumes:
1) All 100 events were actual rapes
2) All 54 rapes that weren’t reported to the police (and therefore not investigated at all) were definitely rape cases beyond any reasonable doubt (no jury or judge or evidentiary rules needed)
3) All 46 rapes that were reported to police should have been prosecuted (the correlation being that all accusations that are reported to the police are true and should be prosecuted)
4) All 12 arrests, and all 9 that were selected to be prosecuted were definitely guilty, and the trial was just a formality. (Of course, since all 100 were guilty from the beginning this is already implied)
Rape is a terrible crime. There are definitely cases of non-reporting. There are definitely cases of guilty people going free when the crime of rape has been committed, but evidence isn’t avaialbe beyond a reasonable doubt. There are definitely cases of false accusations of rape. But I can’t say that all accusations that don’t get prosecuted were false accusations. That would be illogical–equally illogical as suggesting that anyone who doesn’t get convicted of a crime “got away with it.”
The one statistic I do agree if foul is that out of the 5 felony convictions, 2 (or 40%) receive no jail time. That’s horrible. If a person is found guilty of a felony beyond a reasonable doubt, that means they should go to prison. That I think we can both agree. I’m just less likely to take anyone’s word (or in the case of the 54 un-reported cases, anyone’s suggestion) as a basis for determining guilt.
I read about that USC-recruit running back who went to prison for something like 7 years because he was falsely accused of rape because the girl’s mom wanted money from the high-school they attended. False reporting isn’t responsible for a large percentage of rape accusations, but they do exist. You need to be careful not to drown out those voices, in the same way that other’s should be mindful not to drown out the voices of rape victims.
Cry me a river. We live in a world where people laugh as comedians say it would be funny if a woman was gang raped (see “rape culture”: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=rape+culture). Sorry that I’m not terribly concerned about false reports at the moment. Maybe if I didn’t have to check for my rape whistle before leaving the house, keep an eye on my drink at parties, and make sure I have a group to walk with at night, I would have more time to worry about such things. Take your mansplaining elsewhere. It’s in very poor taste on an article like this.
Can you imagine if I my response to woman getting raped was “Cry me a river.” I can’t because I strive to never be that flippant with serious issues.
False reporting, false imprisonment… you’re not concerned. What’s a few innocent people if it stamps out the guilty, right? What’s an acceptable number for you? 1 out of 10? 5 out of 100? Maybe we just lock up anyone who’s accused of any crime as long as we’re “sure.” Questioning the victim in assault’s, murder, etc isn’t fair. The accusation should be enough.
I’m just going to leave this here…
Saving this for inevitable future use.
Gals! Aren’t we the luckiest hen house this side of the internet to have this Cock-a-Doodle-Doo to tell us how to be women? Thank you, big strong men! Thank you for telling me how to handle having a vagina!
Now, let me make you a sandwich!
Wow, Emo. I really hope you change your tune on that. Because of your mindset and people like you, thousands of rapes a year are never reported. I never reported it when it happened to me.
Really? Way to victim-blame. I was raped when I was in college, told my friends what happened and they didn’t believe me. So I kept my mouth shut. Because my friends shamed me and victim-blamed me (“you drank too much”) I felt like it was MY fault that I was raped.
Believe me, it is hard enough to try to live a “normal” life once you’ve been raped. It took me seven years to tell my mom what happened to me.
And one more thing to consider, these “dozens” of stories you’ve heard about people who made shit up aren’t an accurate representation of what’s really happening in the world. Of every 100 rapes, 46 are reported to police, 12 lead to an arrest, 9 are prosecuted, 3 will spend even a SINGLE night in prison, and the other 97 rapists walk free. Media doesn’t report on all of those assaults, hell they probably only report maybe one of them. Think about those stats in relation to other crimes. These “dozens” of stories you’re hearing about that turned out to be false are only talked about in the media because it’s something to report, because it’s different and it’s a way to vilify these people.
I am a very cynical person, but I also believe that 97% of the population isn’t making up stories for publicity.
I’m a pretty cynical cat lady myself, but when it comes to sexual assault, there is just no room for that kind of mindset. I didn’t report my assault because I was scared out of my mind and I had been drinking. Because of this horrible, blame-the-victim attitude, it takes a lot of courage to report a sexual assault and I just didn’t have it. There should be no shame or fear in reporting a crime and your cynicism does nothing but perpetuate harm and trauma.
proving both points at once: a story —- a girl i was friends with in high school (let’s call her B) had a dramatic falling out with her best friend (we’ll call her G) and, out of spite, brought the G’s ex-boyfriend (we’ll call him H) to our junior prom. B was all over him all night, mostly just for show, but on the way home, H got head in the built-in bathroom at the back of our party bus. we had an afterparty, at which they immediately locked themselves in a bedroom and banged (loudly). i remember joking with her later that night that she’d been very vocal, and she responded with “that’ll happen when i’m on top.” G wasn’t there, but i’m sure someone texted her and told her what was going on at the afterparty. on monday morning, everyone in our grade knew, and G didn’t show up to school that day. B found all of this absolutely hilarious.
and then B’s sister, a freshman, got wind of it all, and went home and reported this news to their parents. when they confronted their eldest daughter, she knew she was going to get grounded or have her phone taken away – or worse, she wouldn’t get the car she’d been promised for her birthday – so she lied. she told her parents that she’d been raped by H and begged them to not get involved, because she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. that same night, she snuck out of her house and H picked her up and they hooked up in his car. she told me all about her parents, and sneaking out, the following morning. that same morning, after he dropped his daughters off at school, her father decided he needed to take action. he turned around, drove back to the school, and went straight to the principal. i wasn’t there, so i don’t know what he said, but i do know that he blamed the school for hosting the prom after which his daughter was allegedly raped and he threatened to involve the police and/or sue if the school did not take action. so, H was called out of his first-period class and was “suspended indefinitely.” B ate lunch with me in the library that day, because she didn’t want to face anyone, and she told me that it had all gotten out of hand and whined that her father was “such a lunatic.” the next day, she told me – and everyone else – that she just didn’t want to talk about it anymore. everyone turned on her; i know she received lots of anonymous messages, threatening her, and i think her house was egged a couple times. meanwhile, it took weeks for the school’s administration to make a decision but, ultimately, H was expelled two days before final exams.
and while i can say pretty confidently that B was lying about being raped to get out of trouble with her parents; that she was being selfish and that she kind of ruined H’s life (and G’s, too, really) — and, imo, what happened there was very fucked up — i also don’t doubt that if she really had been raped at the prom after party and decided to report it, she probably would have received the same horrible treatment from her peers.
tl;dr — sometimes, but certainly not more-often-than-not, people do fabricate traumatic experiences for some selfish reason, but at the end of the day, the way we treat victims, regardless of whether or not they’re telling the truth, is often shameful. no wonder nobody wants to come forward.
Why would you even share that story on a post like this? What possible good can come from sharing a long story about a woman falsely accusing a man of rape in a discussion about a woman who was raped?
I think he was trying to point out that just because someone says they were raped doesn’t mean they actually were. That’s the basis for our entire justice system. When a crime is alleged, the prosecutor determines the likelihood that a crime has been committed. The judge determines if all procedural requirement are followed. The jury determines guilt.
Why is it ok to say the Aurora shooter is an alleged murderer and questioning the survivors is ok? Isn’t that insensitive? People actually died and it’s still acceptable to question what happened. That’s our system. I read 2 people post statistics here that 97% of rapists get away with it–they just assume all accusations are true. It’s a convenient assumption to make a powerful argument. It’s totally illogical, but very persuasive nonetheless. It’s ridiculous how sensitive we are to this one crime, and only for one gender. Why is this so much worse than molesting a young boy? Or killing your husband? Or drowning your kids? Or killing your girlfriend? Why is this one accusation beyond questioning? Is it because women have faced adversity reporting rape in the past? Is it a sort of rape-affirmative-action? Because I’m totally fine with legislating harsher penalties for convicted rapists, or increasing the statute of limitations so you can go after guilty people later on. But it’s not fair to just assume someone’e guilt because some woman somewhere didn’t feel comfortable reporting a completely separate crime.
she kind of ruined H’s life
As did everyone else (I’m looking at you) who knew the truth & didn’t step up to vouch for H, especially if H is now a RSO for the rest of his life.
It’s fucked up, alright ~ lying by omission is no better than what your cunty little friend did.
What if his example girl was too embarrassed or shamed to come clean about being raped? What if he bravado was a coverup? What if she really was raped? He wasn’t in her head, and obviously you don’t have to say no or be completely passed out to be raped. A woman can just feel pressured to not say no and it can be rape. Who is he to question a woman who says she was raped? Wait, wasn’t that your point? In every other crime, the accused is allowed to question the validity of the accuser.
If we stop assuming that women are somehow delicate little flowers that can’t be treated as an equal gender in the cases of violence, and differently from male rape victims who, while admittedly a smaller total number:
1. underreport at even higher levels (<85% according to the Wikipedia's rape statistics sources)
2. aren't even protected by law in many countries from rape by women
3. are involved with institutional molesting cases at far higher numbers than girls
Instead, what we hear is that all rape accusations are leveled at guilty people. Murder? We need to cross examine the witnesses. Theft? We need to cross examine the alleged victim. Sexual abuse of young boys? Totally fine to cross examine them as adults and ask them what their motivations are. Even if they are kids, hey we need to find the truth. But god forbid a woman has to prove she was raped. "It's insulting. Don't they know how embarrassing it is to admit to being raped?"
It's ridiculous. Stop being oppressed. Stop being victims. MLK didn't ask to be treated special. He demanded equal rights. Encourage victims to report rapes at a higher degree. Encourage victims to defend those accusations with evidence. In those societies where they hurt women for admitting to being raped, develop programs to rescue those women from those oppressive cultures (another problem entirely). But in the US and other Western countries, don't lower the thresh hold to determine guilt because it's too "tough" for women to stand up when they've been assualted. We expect our molested children to do it. We expect our men to do it. We expect our gays to do it. What is so fragile about the female gender that they can't? I believe they can, because the women I admire do. (like this woman who is speaking out about her alleged assault)
It's not insulting to call it alleged. That's just what it is until evidence is presented by a prosecutor, because that's when our legal system says that a crime is likely to have been committed.
“MLK didn’t ask to be treated special. He demanded equal rights.”
Yeah he got shot dead.
Fuck off Matthew, what you need is to spend 2 years defending yourself in the court system, with a good old physical and genital examination, and your genital findings made public. Over the course of those two years you will lose most of your friends, and possibly your job. And let’s hope you didn’t get pregnant.
Go live through that for two years and then come back and make another comment.
“Encourage victims to report rapes at a higher degree.” Where have you been for the past twenty years Matthew? Doesn’t mean anymore get prosecuted. Does mean people stop committing the crime in the first place. And that you fucktard, is the real issue.
It’s a difficult crime to prove NYNY. I concede that. I’m just less willing to lower the threshold of guilt and due process to accomodate that challenge. And ultimately that is what you’re advocating. You’re saying that there is a a problem. I agree with you. I think more than 60% of convicted rapists should spend time in jail. I think that we should make reporting rape easier, and seal the case until probable cause is determined. I don’t want rapists to get away with it. I would have to be a “fucktard” (equally onerous by the way, because you’re using a form of the word retard, which is insulting to a lot of parents) to want that. I just don’t want innocent people to be accused and destroyed without evidence and the right to vigorously confront their accusers. That’s our system.
And please don’t tell me to fuck off. I’m just disagreeing with you, but I don’t need to insult you or be insulted by you. It’s a complicated problem and I’m not sure what the solution is. I have a feeling that your solution would actually lead to increased rape convictions for guilty rapists (which is great) but I also feel like it would lead to increased pleas, sentences and charges to innocent non-offenders (awful). And that level of acceptable collateral damage is where we disagree. I don’t blame the women, and “Encouraging women to report rapes at a higher degree” is an acceptable position to hold. You might not agree with it, but it’s a valid belief. I think the whole situation sucks. So does buying your kid. But we make you go to court, sit there for 2 years, be examined and cross-examined, be treated as a hostile witness by the defense, etc.
Someone I share my life with was both raped and had their child taken from them. I had my child taken from me. She had to go through both processes, and it sucked. It did, no question. It wasn’t fair. But we had to do it because the justice system doesn’t just take our word. And I don’t think I want it to, as much as it exacerbates the situation.
You don’t get to tell people how to talk to you, Matthew.
Miss Noir:
I agree with you. Nor do you get to tell people what to believe or say. I was just asking (Please don’t call me a..) for common decency. I wasn’t demanding it or threatening repercussions. I think it’s good to keep the conversation respectful. I don’t want to drown out others, because they may ultimately convince me I’m wrong in one of my beliefs. That’s how I grow as a person….
“Stop being oppressed. Stop being victims.”
Oh wow thanks! I had no idea it was really that easy. Oppression is not at all about how there is a whole cultural system in place that encourages violence against women and establishes women’s bodies as public property, nope not at all. It’s not like sexism and rape culture don’t tell men that they are entitled to sex from any woman they want and if they don’t get it then it’s ok to take it by force. It’s all women’s fault, and if they want it to stop all they have to do is stop getting attacked so much.
Chicks man, they never want to do any work.
Sexism and rape culture aren’t one and the same. That’s a classic logical fallacy argument. There are more vehicular homicides/capita than female rapes/capita (even assuming all 100 of your accusers got raped). Do we live in a car-homicide culture? Of course we don’t. Bad people do bad things but it doesn’t mean that we as a society accept them. No father (including this one) wants his daughter to ge raped.
Classic straw man argument. You belittled my main point by putting up some different form of it. I never said:
“men that they are entitled to sex from any woman they want and if they don’t get it then it’s ok to take it by force. It’s all women’s fault, and if they want it to stop all they have to do is stop getting attacked so much.”
You said that. I said that women should be held to the same standards as any other victim of a crime, violent or otherwise. You’re the sexist because you don’t believe actual rape victims can make it through that process? It’s too tough? We should just assume guilt for those they acuse because it’s too hard?
And you said (albeit facetiously) that it would be easy. I never did. It will be hard,but that’s the only way this is going to happen. That was my point with MLK and the civil right’s movement. It wasn’t easy.
I never said women should stop getting themselves assaulted. That’s an idiotic statement that you should take credit for–please don’t share that with me. I’m just saying that this one crime, to this one gender doesn’t justify the suspension of habeas corpus and due process. I hear your point: the world is too slanted against you and women victims can’t affect change without special consideration. I just disagree with you.
People who trot out the terms “logical fallacy” and “straw man argument” demonstrate no development beyond first year undergrad.
You don’t understand how sexism and rape culture are part of the same gendered power nexus? You’re an idiot.
As Miss Noir said, get fucked.
Ah boo boo, you don’t like intimidation? Yeah me neither, so I fight back. Fuck off.
NYNY, there is no gendered power nexus. According to Matthew’s brogressive widsom, women are the ones making it hard on themselves by playing the victim card all the time. Silly goose.
NYNY:
Clarification. You “intimidate” on the Internet and behave in a way completely different from how you would speak in person because you can hide behind anonymity. I’m not intimidated by your words and if you threatened me physically I don’t think I would feel intimidated by that either.
I hope you don’t tell people to go fuck off and fight back to their words with violence. That seems like an iineffective strategy. My guess is you don’t act like a bully in real life. And if you do, let’s just hope you figure it out before you become a parent.
Listen you misogynistic asshole, you have no right to tell any person how to deal with their rape. You also have ZERO right to tell women how to act and that fact that you have no clue as to how demeaning and sexist you sound, is laughable.
Get fucked and beat it.
Stay classy Miss Noir. And you don’t know anything about me. I do have the right to talk about it. Think about that for a second. So do you.
I don’t have to call people names or wish sexual assault upon them when I get frustrated. “Get fucked?” Seriously, that’s the level of maturity you bring to the table? You got me. I feel shamed and scared and now I don’t feel comfortable speaking out. Wait, which side of this were you on again? The intimidation one?
Have you ever heard this saying “The oppressor cannot speak the language of the oppressed”.
You have no right to come into a community of mostly women and dictate how we deal with rape and oppression. The fact that you can’t see that is illustrative of your patriarchal tendencies.
Also? Get fucked.
I have never heard that quote, nor had Google. I did find this one though:
“The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.”
I’m not telling any woman how to deal with their rape. I’m telling you why the justice system does, as it relates to the prosecution of that rape. You still can’t make any logical point.
Here’s the only tools you have:
1. Name calling
2. Intimidation
3. Threat of sexual violence
4. Sexism
Sexism is a new addition in your recent post. So I just want to get this one clear. Now your argument is that a man has no right to be involved in a discussion or group that is predominantly filled with the female gender? Is that your vision of the future? People should be excluded from speaking based on gender.
That’s your platform? I’m starting to think you are messing with me. Are you coming up with anti-woman ideas and then trying to use them so as to reflect poorly on women? If so, I don’t want to be a part of that. There are actual victims of these tactics and advocating sexism, intimidation, sexual violence, etc isn’t something that any intelligent person (man or woman) would consciously do. I’m not sure if you’re just very young and are trolling for fun, or if you’re really an anti-woman but these tactics are harmful. And they’re so far beyond logic that I have to assume you’re deliberately saying silly things.
Here’s one: go fuck yourself.
less intimidating?
This is for Matthew: http://www.derailingfordummies.com/complete.html#hostile
Strawberries:
Wow, that was really long. But now I get it. I’ve been called pretty horrible names because I’m Privileged and I’m Derailing. When you’re Privileged (as men are) your life is amazing. You dont get cancer, and you don’t have to bury your daughter. You don’t have to worry about losing your house, or keeping your job.
Those worries are for others, the Marginalized. The Marginalized have opinions that have substance and matter. They have real problems and don’t need to pretend to have empathy. In fact, a quick guide for us Privileged (because it gets confusing):
Our opinions are invalid. They’re beneath contempt. But that’s just the beginning. Any of our “feeling” are strategies to maintain our Privilege status. So not only are our feeling invalid, they’re insincere and manipulative first, and then invalid. Arguing this point is merely proof of both of these things.
We don’t get realize this because we’re derailing (whenever someone who is Privileged disagrees with anything a Marginalized person believes) and our belief that we’re actually having an opinion is again a facade. I’m not insulted by the disdain and contempt afforded me, instead I’m angry that my evil manipulative plot has been uncovered.
Wow. That’s is some serious Scientology level logic. And by “logic” I mean it’s full of stereotypes, contempt, generalizations, words spoken AT the reader rather than to them, sexism, elitism, and small/old ideas wrapped in big/new words.
The only satisfaction I get is realizing that you actually believe this nonsense and CHOOSE to live in this terrible world you’re constructing. That sucks. You’ve chosen to live in a world where everyone is derailing you and you’re marginalized person? Really? That’s the world you see? Talk about missing the point of life. Bad shit happens to everyone. It’s not a contest.
Fortunately this young woman is stronger than your Marginalized people, Strawberry. She didn’t become Marginalized. She’s Privileged. She didn’t let it stop her life. She started moving her feet again and spoke out about it. She didn’t accept the stigma that your Marginalized people do. I hope justice is served. Thank god it happened to someone strong like her, and not weak, like your people.
(Hint: there are no “your people”. There’s just the image you have of yourself.)
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=rape+culture
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=rape+kit+backlog
I actually read that full Wikipedia article that popped up first. Thanks for sharing it. I’d need to spend quite a bit more time reading the footnoted material before coming to my own opinion but it says it’s a controversial theory generally accepted by feminist academia and criticized by others (it referenced 2 women and 1 man in the criticism section). That doesn’t convince me it’s not true, but it doesn’t mean I can accept it without more research. I’ve never heard of it until today, and I thought I was against violence towards women. But I have definitely been attracted to how women look and uses that as the sole basis for dating them, and I think that’s objectifying them. And this theory links those two things.
It seems to stereotype everyone into this rape culture. That I disagree with but I’m sure there are large groups that seek to marginalize women assault victims just as there are large groups that seek to marginalize other groups. I don’t want to blame everyone but maybe your point is that by failing to acknowledge there is rape culture that I’m contributing to its existence? I just wish there was some middle ground. I agree there is racism, my 85 year old grandfather is racist and thinks Obama is a Kenyan Manchurian candidate. Still I’d feel uncomfortable saying that we have a racist family. Or that Florida is racist. Or that the entire US is racist. That’s a big net. At the same time it feels like arguing this point would be unwise as I don’t have the data either way. To argue in favor or against such an important and emotional point without some factual basis would be irresponsible and mean-spirited.
#1:
#2: This is not the time to regale us with tales from the set of One Tree Hill. It’s fucking inappropriate and doesn’t serve as any vindication. For every woman who lies about a rape, there are dozens who are actually raped. Save this drama for your mama and get some class. Also? In regards to Alphabet City and the Prom Rape Story:
It’s not Jenn’s, or any other victim’s, fault that other people made up stories. So, they shouldn’t be punished for what other people have done.
Right, but there are a lot of people out there who talk ALL about people who make false accusations and can’t help but bring it up when they hear assault claims, and meanwhile the vast majority of the people are are assaulted never speak up. Somewhere between 3% and 8% of accusations are false (FBI statistics vs. actual study). And anywhere between 75% and 95% of rapes go unreported. Every women who is attacked is in essence blames for what society IMAGINES she has done, and for what they imagine other women have done (aka lying) when in reality, nearly no one says they were raped when they weren’t. After all- we all know any women who dresses like a skank/goes out after dark/gets drunk/talks to a boy/ is ASKING to get raped. No-wait- they’re giant sluts who have sex and cray rape afterwards.
Question whether this report is true is not only not helpful, it is supportive of the culture that keeps women living in fear and men walking free.
Also- I wrote all this and then realized I mis-read nodaklady’s comment- I think you’re complaining about the original comment as well. For some reason I thought you were supporting it initially. But my comment still stands- just in support of you, not against.
we have these false reports at a weird frequently in my small town (I think 5 stranger rape reports in the last 5 years, 2 were legitimate, 3 false). They were fairly outlandish stories and fell apart very quickly. So I understand you point, and it makes my blood boil. The two legitimate ones were prosecuted but there was lots of evidence.
And yes, I have been raped and know how it feels. It was a date rape and I knew the incident could never be prosecuted because the only evidence was my word against his…so I never bothered to report. But I understand putting people in prison based off of word alone is VERY BAD…I appreciate our “beyond a reasonable doubt” system.
I guess my viewpoint is unusual since I’ve completely moved past this incident and can separate my emotion from the issue.
I had a friend years ago who went on a date with a guy she had taken some time to know. Typical meet – chat – flirt – go on a date. She had a look on her face the next day that told me something ‘off’ happened. Taking her home, he pulled over and made his moves and my friend said she was initially attracted to him. She has no idea when or how the line was crossed but she knew she wasn’t getting out of the car without having sex with him. She tried to say, ‘no’, and she felt at fault because her ‘no’, fell on deaf ears. I remember saying, ‘so, you were raped???’. She said she preferred not to look at it that way. She said that having sex that night was what she ‘had’ to do to get out of the car. She never wanted to speak about it again.
Wow, where did all those other events happen? I hadn’t heard of them.
While I agree that some people use these tactics to try to gain attention, automatically treating anyone who says they were attacked as if they’re lying creates a hostile environment toward the survivor. They already had their privacy stripped away from them by the attacker; now they’re exposing themselves even more in the wake of a traumatizing event, and they have to deal with all the people who don’t even believe that event ever transpired in the first place.
So it’s sad that your cynicism has been proven right so often; that makes it harder for those of us who have gone through these assaults to speak up.
P.S. I know I probably took this a bit personally, and for that I’m sorry. The knee-jerk reaction of “she’s lying” to these situations hits a little too close to home. I just hope you have more compassion if anyone you know personally would share something like this with you. I think you’re referring to celebrities and pseudo-celebrities mostly… at least I hope. Also take note that I should have been asleep for about seven hours by now, so I’m typing this in a half asleep daze. Sorry if it’s a mess. :(
That was supposed to be in response to emo…
Yep, I was referring to those who court publicity. As I mentioned there have been dozens of stories in the news in the past several years where an individual/couple claims an assault/attack, only for it to be revealed later to be a hoax. Sadly, by that time, gullible readers/viewers of these reports have already donated thousands of dollars to these scammers in a misguided effort to “help.”
As I said, I don’t know what happened in Jenn’s situation and I am passing no judgement on her story.
I’m not sure if what you describe happening “dozens” of times is that you’ve been proven right so often. *Most* crimes people report actually happened, even if a few are not true.
Right, but there are a lot of people out there who talk ALL about people who make false accusations and can’t help but bring it up when they hear assault claims, and meanwhile the vast majority of the people are are assaulted never speak up. Somewhere between 3% and 8% of accusations are false (FBI statistics vs. actual study). And anywhere between 75% and 95% of rapes go unreported. Every women who is attacked is in essence blames for what society IMAGINES she has done, and for what they imagine other women have done (aka lying) when in reality, nearly no one says they were raped when they weren’t. After all- we all know any women who dresses like a skank/goes out after dark/gets drunk/talks to a boy/ is ASKING to get raped. No-wait- they’re giant sluts who have sex and cray rape afterwards.
Question whether this report is true is not only not helpful, it is supportive of the culture that keeps women living in fear and men walking free.
And are those assualts you are talking about rapes? Because rape is a whole different ball game, and talking about other types of crime is totally irrelevant, as there is no other crime that carries as much stigma for the victim
By posting your comments here- you ARE passing judgement.
Just wanted to write to say that I can understand where Emo is coming from. On the one hand, it’s sad that we’ve become so jaded and skeptical that we can’t just take an accusation of rape at face value, but it’s because there is a possibility that it could be fake, and even if it’s less than 1%, the reality is that there EXISTS that possibility. I think there’s room for compassion and skepticism here, and I don’t believe Emo is accusing her of lying, but simply trying to maintain a more objective stance by entertaining the possibility that it could very well not be true. I think it’s fair, and it doesn’t make sense to argue otherwise when we don’t know what happened.
As for those who shared their stories, I do sympathize with you greatly and applaud your bravery in sharing.
Even sadder, rape is the only crime where people seem so focused on how it might not be true. When my house was burglarized, nobody said, well you know, I know a girl who faked her own burglary just to get attention. When an arsonist set fire to our building, nobody said, well you know, I know a girl who faked her own arson just to get attention. And when somebody stole my best friend’s car, nobody said, well you know, I know a girl who faked her own car theft just to get attention. Instead, everyone said, oh my God, that sucks, are you okay, what can we do for you, how can we help?
But damn, if you a woman and you report a sexual assault, suddenly the focus is all about how women lie about rape, and how can we believe her, and everyone knows a story about a woman who lied, etc. I see a little misogyny here.
Word. I just found this really horrifying story from 2007 (http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2007/06/gag_order.html). Basically the judge banned the words “rape”, “sexual assualt”, “victim”, and even “sexual assualt kit” from the trial. People also like to tack modifiers onto “rape” so it doesn’t sound as bad (like “date rape” or “gray rape”). I’m going to go rage in the corner now. #thisismessedup
And I would bet (I have no statistics, but logically..) more burglaries/arson attacks/etc are faked for insurance purposes, than women reporting rape falsely because they’re crazy.
You’re probably right, because the stigma associated with having a house than burned down isn’t comparable to the stigma associated with being raped.
But a false claim of arson has the effect of monetary loss to the wronged party (the insurance company).
A false claim of rape has the effect of imprisonment, difficulty gaining employment, and attaching a social stigma to that innocent person, forever.
For me, rape, murder and child molestation are the three most heinous crimes that can be committed. They are either permanent or have permanent impact. I want to be sure beyond a reasonable doubt that murderers, child molesters, and rapists are guilty before I send them away, and I want the penalties to be significant. That necessitates that the the victims and witnesses are put through a pretty horrendous process during the trial. Until someone comes offers an alternative that helps alleged victims avoid this pain provided alleged perpetrators with their constitutionally protected rights, then we just have frustation but no resolution.
People get frustrated when they don’t like the system but can’t offer a better option. At least if someone came forward and said “we should revoke the right to confront your accuser and here’s why” we could have a debate.
Emo, you first said: ” All within the last month!” but now you’re saying: “in the past several years” rather than answering Jellysauras Rex’s direct question of “where did all those events happen?” … nuts, cuz I was really curious to know if the lesbian couple you mentioned was the same one I’d recently heard of in news local to my area …
(I did google to find that in the case of the local lesbian couple, the 5th suspect in the property vandalism was arrested a month ago, so they’re not the attn-whores you mentioned. I think I’m most interested in the hitchhiker anyway…. can you link that one?)
This is just so saddening.
This is so scary and awful. My heart goes out to her. But thank you for posting it, PP.
How shitty is that, when you have to be sure to actually announce “No” in order to clarify to the rapist that indeed, this rape thing is not MY idea. Like that wouldn’t be the status quo.
Thanks for posting this story.
I fucking (sorry) hate people sometimes. GOD. I don’t even have a good response, just fuck.
That is just so terrible. Here is this person, trying to do something really wonderful, and some sicko takes advantage of that.
I’m incredibly impressed by her response to the situation. She’s taking a very mature approach- going public, pushing forward in her goal, all the while admitting that her assault was horrific and frightening.
This really just makes me so sad to be a woman though. A man would not worry at all about rowing, hiking, biking, etc across long distances alone. A woman should not have to either.
I agree, But as women we always have to be careful. No matter where or what we are doing. I am glad that she has such a positive attitude and has chosen not to be a victim. And also, Other blogger’s should stop posting so much information and pictures of their homes and especially their children. Of course that’s their choice. I hope more good comes of this for her, And I hope they catch the douche that did this. The internet has all kinds of sickos out there.
Her upfront resolve to put it behind her & not let it define her is a leap-frog to the point that it takes many sexual assault victims a very long time to get to ~ I’m glad for her that she has found that strength early on & am hoping the silver lining here is that her candor can be an inspiration to others.
Yeah, she’s got to have some moxie for not letting what happened dictate her life or her originial goal. I think a lot of people, myself included, would have a hard time disassociating those memories with the action. Kudos, and I really hope this asshat is caught and charged.