Mommy Blogging

Sami Would Like You To Buy Her A New Baby

Sami Rigelsky, “powerful prayer warrior“, is a mother of six and the alleged “bff” of the morally upright MckMama. Determined to adopt a Down Syndrome child, she was delighted when her husband saw a child in his Facebook feed – “As soon as I saw her I knew. I cried. I knew.”

The question that instantly rose to the surface was “How on EARTH will we afford this?” An adoption from her country is upwards into 31 THOUSAND dollars. We don’t have that in the bank. :) That’s when we know God spoke to our hearts that it will have to be of and from HIM. We had to step out, in faith, and let Him do His thing. So, we sent in an application to her government for pre-approval. We heard back on the 4th day that it was a YES!!!

Yes, without any funds prepared the couple applied for the child anyway – because why do any financial planning whatsoever when you can beg your facebook pals for the money?

I have 1473 Facebook friends. If every one of them gave $21.20 to our adoption fund, we’d be at our goal…when we first felt called to Ava I said that I wasn’t even concerned with the money.

Sami’s statements that “Countless times I have seen Him provide the way where there is NO other way” and that “He has said that He WILL meet our needs according to HIS riches” come on the heels of a post begging people to buy t-shirts or alternately to “please feel free to donate through the ADOPTION FUND button also located to the right”.

I’m aware that adoption is an expensive prospect and that nowadays it’s common practice to ask the internet to fund your life choices. But maybe you should save up a bit on your own before asking strangers to pay for a seventh child from a foreign country?

  1. avatar Miss Noir


    Also? Is she going to fund the cost of raising a child with special needs with internet begging?

    • avatar JeebuzWhut?

      No shit. This was my first question. And how much for each of your fucking followers to feed her, clothe her, provide any special care she might need over the years? Also, you can’t put up ANY of that money? Cuz I did the math, sweetie, and 21.20 a person means your followers are providing all of that $31K and you aren’t putting up a dime. So I second that nope, Miss Noir.

      • avatar Respect privacy and lies OH MY

        State of Wisconsin will most likely be taking care of the child’s needs once she’s adopted. It will be the 7th kid and her husband is a “pastor at a youth church”. Sami had a pretty successful photographer career but cut back her hours drastically.

        • avatar DoubleEntendre

          We had to sign this form: for all six of our internationally adopted special needs children (initial cost AND upkeep paid for the old-fashioned way). Since we knew several families that did receive public assistance for their foreign-born children, I asked our social worker how they were able to do that. She said “Not likely that anyone’s going to come after you for it. The form is as good as your word.”

          • avatar Respect privacy and lies OH MY

            She’s defended (and sold a car to- an Escalade that was bought “by her” during Jennifer’s bankruptcy) Mckmama for years. I remember when they “opened” their home to drug addicts (while they had many young kids) to provide them with a place to live, “witness to them” and help make the rent payment.

          • avatar DoubleEntendre

            Ah, so she’s not trustworthy. It all makes sense now.

    • avatar Siggy

      There was a dude at my church who adopted many special needs children that no one else wanted. The government paid him monthly to support and sustain these people who, otherwise, would have ended up in state run facilities attended by a cohort of people who were ‘punching a time card’, as we used to say about hourly workers. He spent every waking hour attending to these poor people who could not attend to themselves, and who had no family either willing or able to do what needed to be done. He didn’t do it out of love. He did it out of religious duty. However, because he was so socially awkward, he couldn’t do anything else. It was his job. That was how he paid his rent. But he did it well. Was he wrong for doing it? He helped those people, and they helped him.

      I feel like his story translates well to her situation. The government will help support this child.

      • avatar DoubleEntendre

        @Siggy: But he wasn’t plastering their private information and photos all over the internet and begging everyone to fund his enterprise. These children were born as citizens so it IS up to the government to fund them (I’m assuming you’re in the US).

        And I wonder if he didn’t love them, at least as much as he was able to. It would be hard to “do a job and do it well” if one didn’t take pride in what one was doing. He sounds like an interesting guy.

        • avatar siggy

          Well, I’m with you on the bit about plastering kid’s private info on the internets. I don’t think people should do that, as the kids have no choice in the matter. As for asking the internet for money, well, there are people who want to help others and who cares what other people decide to do with their money? I don’t begrudge people who donate funds to GOMI, even though I choose not to donate here. Who cares? Hopefully the attention GOMI brought to this lady will help her a little. She should be grateful.

          As for the man at our church, you’re right, he might love the kids, but it’s hard to tell. He’s a good guy, but he is more of an acquiantance than a friend, so I don’t really know.

  2. avatar Little Orphan Lilly

    Possums Everywhere already linked this article in the forum thread, but this Mother Jones article was EXACTLY what I thought of reading this. International adoption + no money + God talk makes me INCREDIBLY FUCKING WARY:

    • Something about this makes me think she just wants a special needs child for the attention. Look at me, internets, raising a Down Syndrome kid! Gimme a babble column now!

      If she’s just “drawn” to special needs kids there are far more impactful ways to help them and to make a difference than begging the internet for $30k+ in order to adopt one from a foreign country. There is always a need for teachers and caregivers. Why not do that?

      • I am a caregiver for special needs children and many of them are adopted. You wouldn’t believe how many people do it for the attention. I worked for a person who’s VOICEMAIL said “I’m busy taking care of xxx right now…” And she had three other kids!

        • avatar watery highball

          I had a coworker who had four kids, two with special needs, one with an comparatively easily-managed behavioural disorder, and one who had no disorder or special needs whatsoever. My coworker was the most harried woman on earth, working herself into a frenzy about how nobody understood her plight, and not even her husband could care for those kids. It was all about her and how hard it was for her. She worked it into any unrelated conversation she could.

          Also, that last kid I mentioned? Was lashing out for attention so hard and my coworker didn’t even notice. It broke my heart.

      • avatar MEP

        I think it’s for the attention and also for the martyrdom — how can you tell someone they’re not Christian enough if they’re willing sacrifice in such a way? You can tell yourself every day that God likes you best.

      • avatar ILoveDavidTennentSoMuch

        Sami, you’re not going to become Kelle Hampton, or Adeye from nogreaterjoy. Just nope.

    • avatar Really The First Women To Ever Give Birth

      Great article. Articulates a lot of the unease I’ve been feeling all these Christian bloggers adopting from China/Ethiopia/etc. Thanks for posting it!

    • I ended up down the rabbit hole on this article – so so fascinating, I had no idea! Thanks for sharing, great read.

  3. avatar Sookie

    Doesn’t she already have, like, a dozen children?

    Maybe this is the wrong question, but if you’re already strapped for cash, is adopting a Downs child really a smart move?

    And LOL at her thinking her FB “friends” will donate. Keep dreaming, honey, they nocurr.

    • avatar 2shoes

      Even if they DO donate the giant wad of money, is this lady going to send a $21.20 refund to 1473 FB friends if the adoption falls through? Maybe she should ask that the donations come with self addressed stamped envelopes, just in case. Since she’s already in asking mode.

      • avatar Wait...What???

        I’m wondering if that 31k includes all the travel and hotels that will be required. If so…and the adoption falls through, a big chunk will be spent.

      • avatar DoubleEntendre

        Or do what this couple we know did when they adopted a boy with heart trouble from Eastern Europe (they’d also raffled off his sticker price). They got the little guy here and suddenly realized this was REAL, not just a cute face in a picture. Within 24 hours they’d returned him to the agency and sent out a repulsive email to all of their “supporters” telling them how wonderful they were for “being a part of the miracle of bringing Aleksandr to his REAL forever family, the agency had a couple just waiting for a special kid like him! God always knows the next step even if we don’t!”

        Of course no one asked for their money back, which was exactly what the letter was designed to accomplish.

        • avatar soisaid

          That’s really disgusting.

        • avatar Cuntalina Hittler

          They returned him? Oh, that’s horrible.

          • avatar DoubleEntendre

            It’s unfortunately not uncommon in the world of foreign-born special needs adoptions. I call them “Stepping Stone Families” and it never fails to amaze me how much they of a spin they put on it to give themselves kudos and back pats.

            • avatar falimako

              I remember a fairly popular adoption blog from about 5 – 6 years ago where the family adopted a little girl from China, who turned out the have special needs. The couple only realised once they had her, and threw a fairly major hissy fit over it – the blog post was really long and they seemed to manage to be culturally insensitive in 1000 different ways. It was crazy! I can’t for the life of me remember what the blog was called though.

              • avatar DoubleEntendre

                So many blogs like this. I read one a few months ago

                Even though we adopted children (both older and special needs) and haven’t disrupted, I don’t blame those who do. What DOES bother me is when they act/write as if it was the most awesome and OMGhardest thing EVER! Yah maybe for the kid. If you have to disrupt, do so and do it in a way that is best for the child, if possible. Don’t justify it to the internets, just do it and get on with things.

        • avatar ILoveDavidTennentSoMuch

          Holy crapping crap. Thats beyond the beyond.

        • avatar highfive

          That is SO sad. That poor little boy. What an awful couple of people.

        • avatar hereforthefreefood

          Oh my god, that is repulsive. Reminds me of that woman who adopted a Russian boy, and then flew him back to Russia BY HIMSELF WITH A NOTE explaining why she couldn’t handle him. These are people that should not be allowed to have children, and should be forcibly sterilized.

          • avatar DoubleEntendre

            There’s more to that story, but rest assured– she’s not going to have or adopt any more children :)

  4. avatar Llama Llama

    Ugh, wow. A truly low point for the planet.


    SO sick of seeing people get financial help from um EVERYONE THEY KNOW and then pretending it’s all God. God, taking credit for your work since 0000.

    • avatar DoubleEntendre

      Love this. I’m using that last line in any conversation I can work it into from now on.

    • avatar Fuck Yeah Atheism

      If there was a god, Down Syndrome wouldn’t exist.

      And why can’t this selfish bitch adopt a child from her own country? What a fucking horrible human being.

      • avatar Gotcha

        Amen sista! LOL

      • avatar JuliasTooSmallTutu

        Because it’s a better story if they had to travel really far to get the kid. With bloggers it’s all about the story they get to tell and very little about the actual people (in this case kids) involved.

        • avatar gwenhara

          And because the martyrdom just isn’t the same unless said child would have possibly been put to death in the country of origin. Since we don’t do that in the US, an American SN kid just doesn’t have the same impact.

          Additionally, these are the type of “Christians” who think the poor deserve to be poor because they don’t work hard enough to please God. Never mind their own financial situation. Adopting an abandoned US kid is tantamount to adopting sin and sloth but a foreign born kid comes from a country that doesn’t know better.

      • avatar Catullus

        So right. I adopted domestically and I still get people saying, oh, you were just lucky, it’s so hard to adopt from the US. And I’m, like, “luck” had nothing to do with it. A sense of purpose and my desire to help an AMERICAN child had EVERYTHING to do with it.

        • avatar Fish Drippings

          I don’t think it’s an easy process – but if you’re willing to do the fost/adopt process, it’s got to be easier in many ways. At the very least, you may get some post adoption agreements to keep Medicaid due to special needs (vs a foreign adoption with special needs that went array in a baaad way and private health insurance wouldn’t cover what was needed and the child ended up in foster care)

      • avatar Fish Drippings

        This. Because there is a part high need for foster/adopt families in every place in America, where it won’t cost you 31k. (Not saying I don’t want a forever home for this other little girl) but FFS. Nope.

    • avatar Mrs. Odie 2

      I once tried to point this out to a friend who had posted “The God I worship is a generous God! I was on my knees all night praying, and this morning, our [charity fund] is $8000 in ONE DAY! PRAISE HIM!” And I was all, Don’t you mean praise the people who gave you the money? And she was all “I have no faith in people. People are awful.” Um. Okay…

  5. avatar DoubleEntendre

    Ha. It’s not the initial cost, it’s the upkeep. Are their 1, 473 closest and dearest friends going to keep the spigot open for the next 20 years?

    • avatar AQNR

      It’s probably not even 20 years, it’s 40 or 50 years. Most people with Down Syndrome aren’t able to be financially independent at any point in their lives.

      • avatar DoubleEntendre

        True, but when they turn 18 they can legally receive SSI and other gov’t assistance.

        • avatar gwenhara

          My husband’s good friend has both an older and a younger brother with DS. Those young men are in their late 20′s and still live at home and need a lot of support and supervision. While the SSI comes in, it doesn’t provide a place to live and basic skills like cooking, cleaning, etc. The two go to group homes for activities and have active social lives, but they remain at home. When the parents passed recently, my husband’s friend gave up his career to take care of his brothers because there are no full-time facilities in their home town..

          • avatar Lucreza Borgia

            It can be done but only in communities with very supportive structures. Wisconsin seems to do very well at integrating and supporting people with mental and developmental issues while allowing them to have some modicum of independence. Florida doesn’t, at all

  6. avatar soisaid

    Maybe she can trade one of her old kids in and get some kind of credit like you can with a car. Maybe it will bring the facebook donation cost down to $17.58.

  7. avatar Sloane Peterson

    Would this be considered income? Does she have to report these “donations” to the IRS and pay taxes on them? Any accountant care to chime in here?

    • avatar KAS

      Pretty sure it falls under the gift exemption; as long as no single person gives her more than whatever the limit is ($10k? $12k?), she’s good.

    • avatar The Oats of Wrath

      lolyer, not accountant. But generally no, it wouldn’t be taxable income for her. First, the donor’s probably paying taxes on that money from their earned income (like wages or whatever) instead of deducting it from their income, the way you would a donation to a REAL (i.e. 501(c)3) charity. And second, there’s a gift exemption where a person can give another person (or a trust) up to the certain amount each year without it being counted as taxable income to the recipient. It was $13K in 2012 and is $14K in 2014. So as long as no single person gives her more than $14k it’s not a taxable event for either person.

      • avatar Lucreza Borgia

        Don’t forget the adoption tax credit good for up to $14k and it was fully refundable until last year.

    • avatar Sloane Peterson

      Thanks for the info Smartyhams!!

      I’d like to make everyone aware of the Sloane Peterson Lady of Leisure fund. Jesus has been calling me to quit work but I keep wondering how on EARTH I can afford my bills and not work. The answer from the Lord himself is simple – if each of you fine folks could send me a small donation it would go a long way towards making this dream a reality!

      Jesus loves you, but I’m his favorite!

      • avatar Ridiculicious

        “Jesus loves you, but I’m his favorite!”

        My cat says that all the time!

      • avatar crankyoldbitch

        Sorry, you’ll have to get in line behind Mckmama.

      • avatar Fuck Yeah Atheism

        Sorry but you’ll need a blog to be worthy of such prestige.

      • avatar boxovinopcoltrane

        We call ‘em Sugar Daddies where I’m from, darling. But you didn’t hear that from me. ;)

  8. avatar designgirl

    People like her, who use God’s name for their own ends, give me the heebie-jeebies.

    Really, if she wanted to adopt a baby with Down’s Syndrome, all she needed to do is foster one from this country and then apply for adoption.

    • avatar AQNR

      She wouldn’t pass a legit home study, but some of the scammy “Christian” agencies do their own, and miraculously everyone whose check clears passes.

    • avatar R Squared

      I don’t buy for a second that she feels that god was calling her, the dumb bitch just wants the attention and money. I’m not saying that is true for all people, but this just seems like a scam with that mask of Christianity so many like to wear.

  9. avatar KAS

    Please, please, please tell me this family has health insurance.

    • avatar Sister Friend

      They legally have to, in order to adopt.

    • avatar Gretchen Weiners

      The husband is a youth pastor and they already have 6 kids. I’d be willing to bet that the great state of Wisconsin pays their health insurance.

      • avatar chuggy

        most likely true. its pretty fucking irresponsible to CHOOSE (no, god didn’t choose it for you) a career that will not allow you to afford the upkeep of having that many children. choices people. fucking moochers.

        okay, rant over. gah.

  10. avatar Fart in a mitten

    HEY, I have an idea, get another job and pay for your own child!

    • avatar DoubleEntendre

      Ain’t nobody got time for that.

      • avatar sochildfreesohappy

        The two posts above me are prime examples of why I love this place so fucking much. Thanks for the lols xoxo.

    • avatar sunyourbuns

      That’s not what sweet baby Jesus called her to do! Harassing your FB friends is how it was done in the Bible!

    • avatar Late Night Bacon

      Fart in a mitten, the lols your username gave me almost became lethal with the addition of that GIF.

  11. avatar Respect privacy and lies OH MY

    God has “provided” her husband a few overseas mission trip, why not try for a child.

    Someone above mentioned adoption from this country–I don’t think they would qualify, he has health problems and they have a sorted financial history!

  12. avatar Respect privacy and lies OH MY

    Ava On The Way
    April 24
    Hey friends!!! We received PA (in non adoptive terms PRE APPROVAL) from Ava’s country to continue on. SO, now we have to begin our home study. This is an exciting, exhausting, beautiful, daunting, wonderful, hard time. Emotions I’ve surely never experienced before!!! We need about $7500 dollars at this leg of the marathon. Please pray that God would shower finances down according to HIS riches. Also, please pray about how you might be able to help make Ava an UNorphan!!!!!! We trust that as He has called us to Ava that He will provide the means to get her home. It’s all a trusting stretch for my momma heart. Follow along here for updates, links to our in-process website and fundraising page, etc. I will be sharing links on how you can help and where we are in the journey!!! Thanks so much for praying for our overseas girl and for our family as we wait for Ava on the way!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
    Like · · Share (from the kid’s facebook page Ava On The Way)

    I mean, God provided them with a leaf blower the other day, they asked on facebook and got one!

    • avatar KAS

      Could the home study come back and say, nope, sorry?

      • avatar DoubleEntendre

        It’s possible, but they’ve almost certainly gotten the okay from the agency, who would know if there were any barriers (such as family size ages of existing children, whatever the other country has in place). Many times rules will be relaxed in the case of a special needs child, and they wouldn’t have gotten the “go-ahead” for this little girl if it wasn’t a green light all around. Barring a silly little hurdle such as $31K of course.

        • avatar Fart in a mitten

          I wonder if the agency will have a problem with her being a Facebook grifter?

        • avatar ILoveDavidTennentSoMuch

          Any idea which agency it is? (All my info on adoption agencies comes from Freejinger, so Im no expert!)

      • avatar Respect privacy and lies OH MY

        She’s claiming they are “pre-approved” and have to raise 7,500 rather quickly.

        • avatar KAS

          Maybe the agency is scamming them. Seems like there’s an endless supply of adoption agencies willing to tell people what they want to hear, oh and by the way, we need thousands and thousands of dollars from you, right the fuck now.

        • avatar Sister Friend

          Pre-approved just means they have permission to submit paperwork for her. It doesn’t mean they are approved to adopt. Now they have to get a homestudy together, and a social worker has to verify health insurance, family income, family financial assets, health, etc. Those are done with formal documentation – ie, bank records, tax records, notarized letters from doctors. It takes forever, and then it is sent, with the rest of the dossier, to China, and to the US Department of Homeland Security. You can’t fake it.

          They also have to pay the agency fee at this point. A homestudy is typically $2,000 to $3,000, depending on the documentation you have to pay for. Agency fees are crazy expensive.

          • avatar Mrs. Odie 2

            also, some of these “agencies” are scam artists. She could just be “preapproved” to dump $10,000 on a “dossier” and then have a “judge” tell her at the last minute that the child is no longer available.

    • avatar Belladonna Took

      It is, apparently, amazing what you can get your hands on through praying.

      My friend is a Christian (one of the missionary ones who tries to convert Muslims to Christianity) and she tells of how her parents got given houses, cars, holidays .. all because they prayed for them.

      And another couple of evangelists I know of (who claim to have healed somebody’s flat feet in a neighbouring village) won £100,000 on a packet of Lurpak.

      I tell you – I’m nearly sold on the whole idea.

      • avatar boxovinopcoltrane

        I am so sold. Tomorrow I’m asking for my house to be paid off and a Cadidillac. I CAN’T WAIT!

      • avatar MEP

        I have a Christian friend who is the other side of that… he donated a nice, paid-off car to a family at his church because “they need it more than I do.” Proceeded to buy himself a junker that barely ran until he totaled it, now has to get rides from the folks he gave his car too! I seriously don’t get it.

    • avatar hereforthefreefood

      I’m not the really the praying kind, but if I were, I’d be praying my little knees raw for that poor little girl to be placed with a different family. One who, oh I don’t know, COULD FUCKING AFFORD TO ADOPT AND CARE FOR HER.

      People like these are why other countries are closing foreign adoptions. Six kids already, only one employed parent, no money to start the process, probably on some kind of state aid? On what fucking planet are they good candidates to adopt a special/high needs child?

  13. avatar Jen

    Why doesn’t she start selling Xyngular?

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