Mommy Blogging

Dooce Heating Crisis Sparks Rumors Of Money Trouble

Heather Armstrong, supposedly can’t type ‘dude’, started people wondering about her financial state when she posted  last Thursday that she is now only heating small portions of Dooce Manor:

This morning when I checked the weather on my phone it said it was nine degrees outside…This is not normal for Utah, and it just happens to be the winter where I’m doing the best I can to save money on my heating bill. The heat is on in the girls’ rooms and in the living room where they spend most of their time. However, I do not have heat in my bedroom or bathroom. The thermostat last night said it was 51 degrees in there.

Of course it could be as simple as Dooce trying to minimize the wastefulness of heating the unused rooms in her mansion. But considering it was this side of two years ago that the New York Times was estimating made “an estimated $30,000 to $50,000 a month or more”, one has to wonder if this is a sign that the Dooce media empire is winding down.


Mommy Blogging

Dooce Finally Announces Divorce

In news that shocked absolutely no one, Mr. and Mrs. Dooce finally decided to publicly announce their impending divorce. Via matching press release type posts on their respective websites, the Armstrongs preemptively shut down any discussion on the matter:

We know that due to the public nature of what we do that there will be speculation as to the details concerning this decision, however we will not host any discussion of this matter on any of the sites we own…As always, feel free to contact us privately should you have questions or concerns.

I’m pretty sure the entire world knew where this was heading, but for those of you who needed more confirmation than Jon’s vagueposts there you go.


Mommy Blogging

Mr. Dooce Vagueblogging…Yes, Again

Jon Armstrong, serial vagueblogger, is vagueblogging again.  Shortly after helping his estranged wife reinvent her dying site, Mr. Dooce began posting his latest round of obtuse affirmations that sound like something ripped from an Oprah book club selection. Evidently that hasn’t gotten him enough e-hugs from the crowd of slobbering middle aged women in his comments, because he stepped it up to a full blown post of “huh?”


Slowly, ever slowly, I feel it coming on.

It has been a long time coming. And by long I mean at least a decade, probably more.

Affirmation: I define myself. No one else.

While I have to admit his post is amazing if you picture it being read by William Shatner, I’m confused by his constant “maybe I’m talking about Dooce, maybe I’m talking about Adult Swim, maybe I’m talking about my ska band” posts. And while he claims “I appreciate your desire to want to know more, but I’m not posting here for pageviews. I’m posting because I find a great deal of joy in sharing what I share” I think we can all agree that if that were the case, there wouldn’t be ads and an “order a print of my latest experiment in blur” link underneath every picture.

So are these vagueposts really just a cry for pageviews? Is he rattled after spending time with Dooce doing a redesign that about 50% of the world doesn’t like? Has he finally met someone new? And finally, why can’t bloggers just say what they mean instead of vagueblogging/vaguetweeting?


Mommy Blogging

Mr. Dooce Begins Vagueblogging Again

Those following the Doocevorce have some new Sad Jon fodder to parse and puzzle over. Shortly after Dooce instagrammed that a relaxing moment with a beer was “Missing only one ingredient for total perfection” and began posting love songs, Mr. Dooce crafted one of his trademark “14 year old girl on facebook makes you guess the meaning” posts:

I’ve learned a lot of things this year. Some good things and some not so good things. Some useful, some painful, some horrific. I’ve learned more about myself, about others, about truth, denial, hope, trust, fear and failure than I have in a long, long time.

He goes on to say  there “has been pain galore. Deep, searing, awful pain…” Apparently he’s been travelling a lot since February in order to “escape” his pain, but instead it has “only given me distance to see even more clearly how awful things are”. He concludes his vaguepost by stating “Time to act on that truth”.

Mr. Dooce’s post is sparking speculation that the separation will now move into the divorce phase, but thanks to neither of them just saying what’s going on it is impossible to draw any fact-based conclusions. It could all just be coincidence that means nothing, or Mr. Dooce could be encouraging rumors for pageview$. Either way, it’s my opinion that if you aren’t just going to say what’s going on, don’t say anything at all.


Mommy Blogging

Dooce Will Expert About Bullying

Heather Armstrong, expert on bullying, is apparently up on the PanelPicker, where people go to vote on speakers or panels they would prefer to see at SXSW. The panel she is listed to share with another woman? “Dumb, Lonely & Fat: Dealing w/Internet Criticism“. The description claims:

Learn coping strategies and hear stories from the front line of internet criticism. Learn how to develop a thicker skin to confidently distribute your work. Join Heather Armstrong from and Helen Jane Hearn from for a conversation that will leave you with practical tips for dealing with internet criticism.

That’s right: Dooce will be giving people advice on how to deal with internet criticism. Why would this be at SXSW anyway? That conference is basically a huge boozer full of people comparing their iphones and androids. This sort of ‘panel’ would get a better reception at something like BlogHer or IFB.

Honestly I hope this panel gets upvoted, because I would just love to see what line of bs Heather Armstrong comes up with in response to “What steps can I take after someone says something terrible about me online?” and “…what do I do when I’m ignored online?”  It’s sure to be fantastic advice!