“Handbasket” Thinks Churches Should Stop Worrying About Sex Offenders

Mrs. Handbasket, pro-sex offender, is at it again. This time Handy’s telling churches “how a congregation should respond to sex offenders among them”. Blasting the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America for publishing a legal guide for dealing with sex offenders in their congregations, Handbasket begins at the point that is always central to their mind – pedophiles.

Let’s begin with the casual use of that frightful word, pedophiles. Most sex offenders are not pedophiles, not even those who offend against children. Most pedophiles are not sex offenders. Pedophile is a word meant to frighten you.

Handbasket claims the “recidivism rate of sex offenders is extremely low” and balks at the suggestion that sex offenders not be allowed to use church restroom facilities alone. After trying to refute the idea that these rules are in place to assure congregants of “the role of the church as “sanctuary,”", Handy then goes on to complain that those convicted of non-sexual crimes have no such restrictions and how is that fair, people?

Since Handbasket has already claimed child pornography isn’t rape we probably shouldn’t be surprised by anything they say anymore.


Mommy Blogging

Lizzie’s 7 Year Old Can Babysit Himself

Lizzie Heiselt, not a helicopter mom, has bravely taken to the internets to proclaim her son’s ability to stay home without supervision.

In fact, he’s been asking me if I can let him stay by himself while I do little things around the neighborhood (laundry pick-up, library book return) for over a year now and I’ve been hard-pressed to find a reason why he can’t.

Saying she had been “worried the neighbors might think I was being neglectful and I’d get an unexpected visit from CPS”, her first step was to check the laws of the state to make sure it was legal to leave her 7 year old home alone. Satisfied she “would be able to say…to any nosy neighbors” she was not breaking the law, she decided to test the limits of her son’s ability to take care of himself.

After letting him go downstairs and get the mail, she then chose to try letting him also mind her 2 year old daughter – alone.

I decided to see how my son would do supervising his almost-2-year-old-sister for three minutes in our apartment while I took my 4-year-old down the stairs and back up…when we emerged from the stairwell a couple of minutes later, our apartment door was opened and my daughter was standing by the elevators, waiting, I assumed, for me. My son hadn’t noticed that she had opened the door or that she was not in the apartment.

Lizzie goes on to explain that she knew he was probably too young to care for a toddler on his own, but that it was “eye-opening to see what could happen even in the space of a few minutes”. Still, she declares the idea a success, saying her son can “handle himself at home alone for short periods of time” and run errands inside their apartment building alone.

I’m not into the whole helicopter parenting thing either, but I’m not sure letting a 7 year old run around alone in a New York apartment building is a great idea. Not to be all doomsday about it, but this sounds like a Law & Order episode waiting to happen.



Ann Sage Has Priorities


Really, how CAN we?

Ann says her tweet was “meant as a hyperbolic underscoring of American consumerist frivolity in relation to the world’s actual problems” so, ya know, get a sense of humor you oversensitive nitpickers.



Reese Witherspoon Knows Shakespeare


Reese Witherspoon, actress, took a page out of Cup of Jo’s copy of Shakespeare’s Greatest Quotes by posting this bizarre attribution to her instagram.

Thanks to the internet I’m starting to think Shakespeare and Eleanor Roosevelt are the only two people in history who ever said anything.



And Now Michelle Phan Has A Book Deal


Michelle Phan, the vlogger who became a millionaire by showing people how to put on eye shadow, now has a book coming out in October.

Saying “It’s been a year in the making…I’ve poured my heart and soul into this book”, Phan announced the news in between squeals and head tilts via a youtube video.

She encouraged people to pre-order, saying advance purchasers would receive some kind of “limited edition” book jacket sketched by Phan herself. She then fanned her face during a faux teary “love you guys” and doing the glossy butthole looking kissy face ending she always does.