Mommy Blogging

“Love Taza” Will Hire A Stranger From Instagram

Taza, quickly becoming Dooce with her newer, non-revealing content, husband who appears to have ended his own career to ride his wife’s coattails, and sponsored posts, is taking yet another step towards Doocedom – she and her stay at home husband are hiring an assistant.

The prudent thing to do when you are internet semi-famous and have two small children would be to contact a reputable agency (or have your management agency do it for you) and hire a professional who will have a grip of NDA experience and a background check. But hey, why do that when you can put it up on instagram and watch as all your rabid fancujos crap themselves with glee and beg to be your nanny/bff?

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The resulting response was both hilariously sad and kind of scary. Fangirls offered to move from other countries in order to work for the Derps, and one said it’s “my Segway into friendship!”

It really seems unsafe to employ some crazed fangirl who probably cares nothing about the actual job, and just has dreams of becoming Auntie Fangirl to your kids and The Famous Taza’s BFF4LYFE. Maybe this is how the kids are hiring these days, but I’m pretty sure that’s how the movie “Selena” started.

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Mommy Blogging

Mommy Blogger Indicted In Murder-For-Pageviews Case

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Lacey Spears, the mommy blogger who was so “desperate for attention” that she allegedly slowly poisoned her son with sodium, has been indicted on charges of depraved murder and manslaughter for the death of 5 year old Garnett-Paul Spears.

Prosecutors say after searching the internet about the effects of sodium overdoses, Spears fed her son large amounts of salt “once before his seizures and again when his sodium spiked”. According to the Washington Post, investigators “suspect his medical abuse went back much further — fueled by the social media attention she gained on Facebook, Twitter and blogs”.

Spears has pleaded not guilty.

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Mommy Blogging WTF

“Mommy Wants Vodka” Claiming More Danger

Aunt Becky of “Mommy Wants Vodka“, who has a hearing July 9th regarding her charges for filing false police reports, is back on Facebook today claiming she is still in danger.

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Her solution?

I’ve decided to go for the ultimate in home security systems: a dog. These attacks have GOT to stop. Now on my agenda? Finding a crate for a large dog. Also: not dying, because obviously.

She goes on to ask ‘The Facebook’ where she can find an affordable dog crate before responding to other comments asking “What happened to the go fund me for you. Where are your cameras?”, “What happened to the cameras that were supposed to be put up in your home?”, and “Where is the money from go fund me?” by saying she doesn’t have the GoFundMe money yet because she has to first get a mailbox key from the post office (wtf?).

Then this evening Becky announced she had been fired today and seemingly blamed police involvement, saying “apparently being good enough wasn’t good enough during this bullshit time. The lady detective called my boss.”

I do not even understand what is going on anymore with this person.

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Internets WTF

A Quick Sunday LOLWTF For The Recipe Lovers

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If you’ve ever wanted to know how to make a super easy donut cake, The Glitter Guide has your answer. With instructions such as get 24 glazed donuts, place on a tray, and “Repeat until you’ve used all the donuts”, this is surely worth immediately jotting down on a notecard and placing in your Pinstagram worthy recipe box right behind ‘Late Night Bacon’.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Nat Reveals Tat, Internet Goes “I’ve Already Seen That”

In a pretty transparent bid to attention grab away from Taza’s pregnancy announcement, Hey Natalie Jean finally revealed the over-hyped rebellion tattoo she’s been talking about getting since recorded time began. Unfortunately all she did was make the internet go “wait…that looks familiar”.

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Yep, in typical unoriginal Bratalie fashion, she got a design from a decorative pillow permanently placed on her shoulder. Of course she added her own ‘hipster arrow’ touch, because…yeah.

Years of planning and talking and wanting and hyping it up on twitter and instagram, and this is what it was all about? Womp womp. What a failure of a thunder steal, because I’d rather talk about how Taza is going to fit three kids in that apartment.

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