Another year of fail has ended. As we look forward towards a new year of new fails, let us congratulate those who sufficiently ruined enough of the internets to make you vote on them.
Dooce won Most Likely to Call it Quits in 2014 which may turn out to be either the most amazingly accurate prediction ever, or a lot of wishful thinking. Since she also won Biggest Decline maybe it’s more accurate than any of us know.
Hey Natalie Jean also takes home a Hammy for dual category wins - Best Non-Apology/Backpedal for Menorahgate, and Biggest WTF Moment when readers found a post of hers describing her husband strangling a dog.
Most Ridiculous Product Endorsement prize goes to Delightfully Tacky for her sponsored post about tampons…in which she announced her favorite use for the sponsored product was “wearing them during yoga/pilates classes to keep from queefing”.
Blogger Kid Most Likely to Write a Tell All was neck and neck between Dooce’s eldest daughter and That Wife’s eldest son. In the end Dooce’s daughter won the day, and I have to agree she probably is the most likely to go Christina Crawford in a few years.
Unsurprising wins included Kelle Hampton‘s Hammy for Most Insane Fangirls, and Katie Vyktoriah for Best Manufactured Drama. Katie also beat out Hugo Schwyzer for Best Flounce.
And finally, The Lifetime GOMI Failchievement Award. Between complaining about raising the children she supposedly wanted, telling libraries that poor people don’t matter, shoving her son into a bathroom instead of letting him have the second bedroom, and then finally apparently shipping him off so she could spend time with her husband and the daughter she actually wanted, Jenna of That Wife came in a solid first place for this year’s ultimate shame prize.
Thanks to everyone who voted. It’s been fun thinking back over last year’s wtfery. I can’t wait to see what bloggers bring to 2014.
Kiel James Patrick, makes preppy white people things, and his girlfriend of 9,057 years Sarah Vickers did the totally traditional romantic New Year’s Eve thing – they staged a proposal photo for instagram.
Guy Who Resembles Fozzie Bear kneeled socklessly before Kate Middleton Hair and asked “Sarah Vickers will you be my Princess?” And just like in a Disney princess movie, Sarah replied via instagram with many exclamation points.
Yippedoodle for them, I guess. Maybe she can get him a nice razor as an engagement gift?
The Fitnessista, expert mother, finally got a book deal after 5 years of trying:
In the entire proposal process,I’d lost quite a bit of my voice by trying to formalize my writing style; in the past I’d been told that I “use to much slang” and need to “tighten things up.” This time, I finally felt like there was freedom to write whatever and however I wanted, so I rewrote the entire proposal…She wrote back and said she loved it (!), presented it to her publishing house, the concept passed, and she sent the contract over a month later.
The book will apparently be released January 2015 and will be about…working out and dieting. Because there is just a serious dearth of diet and exercise books, people. Anyway, she joins Natalie Jean, Jordan Reid, and soon, if the anonymous tipsters are right, Love Taza in the Bloggers Currently Writing Books No One Will Remember In Five Years Club.
Click here to head on over to the official awards page and cast your votes in the finalized categories.
GOMI has now heard from several sources that Babble, the bloglomerate where so many bloggers make their real money, is now weeks late in sending out payments to their writers.
According to one source “many are now not able to celebrate [C]hristmas”, and goes on to state:
Babble promises daily it will be fixed and no one has seen a check and or a post to their accounts. It is disgusting the way they are leaving their bloggers who work hard for them to bring in their milions of traffic daily! Even so Babble was extremly [sic] picky this month not paying people their full amount saying they did not promote enough and did not get enough traffic.
A source alleges Babble is blaming “a new hire for the problem”. GOMI has attempted to contact the Babble founders listed in their “About Us” section, and is currently waiting to hear back. We will update if a statement is available.