Mommy Blogging

Mom Uses Social Media To Shame Her Child

ReShonda Tate Billingsley, mom, has a 12 year old daughter. Like many parents today, she monitors her tween’s  online activities:

For all you new-age parents who say I’m violating my daughter’s privacy, you might want to stop reading now, because I’m really about to piss you off.  In my house, the only people that are due any privacy are me and my husband. I make it clear that when they get their own place and pay their own bills, then and only then will I respect their privacy.

Well it seems recently during her nightly check in of her daughter’s instagram, she saw a picture of her child holding up a bottle of vodka with the caption “Wish I could drink this Vodka.” So ReShonda did what many mothers would do to a soon-to-be teenager who was being ridiculous – publicly chastised her for acting like a dumbass.

She had been warned against acting up on social media countless times but obviously,  it wasn’t getting through. So I took it to her level, implementing my motto of “Get tore out where you show out.”  I made her hold up a sign saying, “Since I want to take pics holding liquor, I am obviously NOT ready for social media and will be taking a hiatus until I learn what is and isn’t appropriate to post. Bye-Bye :( ”  I made her post  the picture to Instagram and I put it on my Facebook page as a warning to other parents to monitor their kids.

Apparently ReShonda’s method of punishment has gone viral with over 10,000 shares.  ReShonda’s response to those who may have a problem with her reaction makes it clear that she felt it was her last resort:

When it comes to my kids, I don’t play. This is a new age. We have to meet kids where they are.  Punish her by taking away her phone? Did that last week. Make her write an essay? She loves writing so that would be a thrill. Ban TV? She loves to read so that’s no big deal. Talking? Sure, but my talking obviously wasn’t sticking. So, since she showed out on line, she was punished on line.

I hate when bloggers post something and then ask “What do YOU think?” but I’m really curious what you GOMIers think about this. When I was 12 and acted out it was embarrassing enough to be disciplined in front of my friends. I can’t imagine being disciplined in front of the entire planet. But part of me wants to tell ReShonda “you go girl” for using the medium of her daughter’s behavior as a punishment.

So what do you think about this? Punishment fitting the crime, or just another way for moms to humilate their kids online?

  1. avatar Samson

    Works for me.

    • avatar Jenny


    • avatar colleen

      works for me too — rotten kids…

    • avatar Lisa

      Works for me, until I go down the “and then” rabbit hole of “and then they get 50,000 likes on YouTube” … “and then a Today Show producer calls” … “and then the little girl thinks she’s famous” … “and then more acting out happens” which is exactly the opposite of what *should* happen, you know?

  2. avatar CrazyAmy

    I like it.

  3. avatar ijustcant

    I think it’s brilliant. When I taught, I learned that making kids take responsibility amongst their peers is one of the most effective ways to discipline a child. More power to the mom for staunchly parenting her child!

    • avatar Megling

      I second that. Totally brilliant. Not scary like the dad who shot his daughters computer. Or like the time my aunt caught my cousins trying to steal a pack of cigarettes from her purse and made them smoke the whole thing in front of her. Ahhh the 70′s.

      • avatar justwow

        I think it’s brilliant. And I didn’t find the dad shooting the computer scary at all. He was pissed, but he held his ground and his temper and took it out on the machine, not the child. And it sounds like he was at his wits end with the shit his daughter had given him. I didn’t grow up around guns, so it’s not a matter of me thinking it’s ok to shoot a computer, but honestly, if nothing else was getting through to her, take away her PRIVILEGE (computer), which she obviously thought was her RIGHT. I respect this mother as well. I’d absolutely do the same things. Except instead of shooting the computer, I would make my child donate it to a charity.

        • avatar Lauren

          I think any adult who uses a gun to prove a point is beyond reprehensible.

        • avatar Snarky McSnarkypants

          The dad shooting the computer looked and sounded like a fucking douche. But this mom? I like.

        • avatar Purple Prose

          Eh, shooting it was a bit much, but I had a friend who took her son’s gameboy (type device) and smashed it with a hammer. She’d taken it away as punishment and she found him playing it. She took it again and warned him if he did it again, he would never get it back. Apparently, he didn’t believe her because he played it again and she took it and in front of him, smashed it to smithereens with a hammer.

          • avatar justwow

            Shooting IS a bit much, but I guess he was well within his rights to do so.

            This mom is great, and she makes me think she’s the kind of mom who actually holds her child accountable for her success in school, instead of blaming the teacher. Which is the disturbing new “normal” thing to do. Hold your kids accountable, Jesus. If I screwed up, school or not, I paid the consequences. Go ReShonda!

          • avatar Lolabird

            that shooting thing was WAY too much for me too, but in the aftermath, I remember thinking that since he calmed down, he seemed like a genuine parent trying to discipline his child.

            I liked the mom who made her kids sell there toys on ebay though. :D

          • avatar Anon

            Smashing something with a hammer is a little dramatic but bringing a GUN into how you parent is a totally different situation. I don’t care what people say, that was terrifying and awful and over the line.

            This mom, though? She rocks.

        • avatar DrMuffinz

          I agree with you on both accounts – and I liked the dad who shot the computer, especially after reading/seeing the fallout and his reaction to that, as well as the reaction by his child.

        • avatar mya

          this is me in the picture yes i was sad but i got over it and now i am helping….

  4. avatar trisha

    I have absolutely no problem with this. ReShonda’s message isn’t putting her child down, ridiculing her, harming her — she doesn’t even show her face. I don’t even get the same self-aggrandizing, showboating feel from this that I did from that idiot dad who shot his daughter’s laptop on Youtube. It just reads to me like, “Here’s why the kid won’t be on Instagram for a while. You can see her in school.” Maybe some of her daughter’s friends will even get the message about appropriate social media use.

    That said, it’s not my style. I would have taken away access to social media, but I can’t imagine myself posting the same kind of picture. I’m just not share-y that way.

    • avatar Shrug Bitch

      All of this. I don’t have kids so I can’t say how I would react if I were in the same situation, but after reading the original blog post, I think she’s been more than fair and has taught her kid a lesson she won’t forget (while still maintaining her kid’s dignity, in that she didn’t belittle her or compromise her identity).

    • avatar Straws

      I disagree with the not ridiculing her part. It makes me uncomfortable in large part because the girl is so obviously crying hard in the picture and I think that’s humiliating her. As a mom, I make it a point to teach my kids that anything you put on the internet has the possiblity of living on forever. Now her mother has posted a picture of her adolescent daughter crying on the internet, it’s gone viral, and she can’t ever take that image back. There’s enough there to ensure that people who know her know that’s her the image.


        Yeah, I tend to agree with this. I think parents need to be very careful what they put on the internet about their kids (i.e. I think virtually all mommybloggers sort of suck), since they are making decisions that affect their children’s privacy long-term without their consent.

        I don’t think she’s a bad mom, but I think the more responsible parenting decision would be to LOCK THAT CRAP DOWN and let her explain in school to her actual friends why she’s not on social media anymore, rather than having it plastered all over the internet.

      • avatar Steve

        It is NOT obvious that she is crying. Stop throwing out your opinion as a fact.

  5. avatar GetMePizzaYouOldTroll

    this mom can SOMI any day.

    When it comes to my kids, I don’t play — MORE mothers need to take this to heart and listen. guarantee you won’t see her kid’s on maury looking for their baby daddy.

  6. avatar HeyYouGuys

    Not a mom, but I bet mine would have pulled this shit if I acted like a dumbass online as a teen. (Thank GOD there was no Myspace or Facebook when I was going through that shithead teenage stage!) I don’t see the problem, I mean the note wasn’t that bad. I’m all for it.

    • avatar Furious George

      I am constantly thankful that my teenage angst was played out in private and not cached somewhere on the Internet. Also that my completely ludicrous college years happened JUST before digital cameras and Facebook became mainstream. Jesus Christ, the dumb shit I said and did. So lucky! (also, so fat, so thankful).


        Oh yes, I was in college during the early days of Facebook and blogging. I had a mildly embarassing blog (thank god I maintained my anonymity on it in terms of internet searches, using fake names for my friends and myself). I also got caught drinking underage thanks to photographic evidence on FB during college, and almost was disciplined (before they just gave up because we were ALL drinking underage and all had crap privacy settings and who wanted to discipline that many students?).

        Glad I got all my learning in early, though…

    • avatar It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia

      When I had teenage step-kids (prior to FB, et al social media), I had them thoroughly convinced that not only was I not above hanging a huge banner on our garage door publicizing their face & w/e major transgression they’d made, but that I’d also make them pay for said banner(s) themselves … & yeah, they cooled their jets, considerably.

      (It started as a joke via some old movie we’d watched, but they were just wary enough of my warped sense of humor & ideas of comeuppance to let the notion gain traction, so yay’ that I never had to actually put their money where my mouth was)

  7. avatar Lexi

    Well I’m going to disagree – I think punishment or even somewhat direct and even harsh consequences is fine, but humiliation is not in my scope of okay or productive. I think one of the things I would like my kids to learn is how to, basically, back down when they are wrong and make things right, and I think when you humiliate a teen you pretty much are taking the focus off the wrong-thing-they-did and putting it on the humiliating-you aspects and that may mean they focus on that and not the substance of their mistake.

    • avatar Megling

      I get that inclination, but I think this punishment speaks to that. She used her social media to brag about wanting to drink while underage, her mother used social media to shame her for bragging about doing something illegal.
      The message I think is sent, especially if you talk to your teen about their punishment, is that if you misuse your social media, I will use it to set it you right.
      I think the key is talking with your kid about why they are being punished in that way. Sure beats having to cut your own switch if you ask me.

      • avatar Super Nintendo Chalmers

        lol my mom used to tell me and my brother about having to cut her own switches when she was a kid. Southern people, man.

        • avatar ZAnnie

          Love it! My Mississippi grandmother had a switch tree outside her front door and if her grandkids acted up while visiting her house, they had to go pick our sticks from the tree for her to spank us with them. That was part of the punishment, the humilation of having to go pick out a switch in front of our cousins. My mom wouldn’t let her spank us, but I saw this humilation inflicted on my cousins. So yeah, I agree that this mom’s punishment sure beats the switch.

        • avatar HeyYouGuys

          My mom did the same thing. Cutting the switch was the worst part (for me, best for punishment value) because of the shame of having to go out. My mom rarely actually used it, the threat was enough for me. My brother on the other hand? He’s a little monster who laughs during a spanking and will glare you down while it’s happening. Threaten to take away his video games, however, and he’s subdued for a while. Different strokes, ya know?

          • avatar BigMacAttack

            Haha my mom used to make us go pick our own switches too. I was SO bad as a kid – screaming tantrums, talking back, being mean to my brother. I was picking out switches every damn day. And I was such a little bitch, she’d switch me, and I would look back all smug and tell her it didn’t hurt… with tears streaming down my face.

            The ONLY thing that worked with me was embarrassing me in front of my friends. I didn’t get embarrassed in front of strangers, but I did NOT want to get yelled or spanked at if my friends were around. I could totally see my mom doing something like this to me – because I would’ve paid attention to it. It sounds like this woman knows her daughter and she knew this would probably do the trick. The kid needed to learn a lesson, and this mom made sure she taught it. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

          • avatar It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia

            I remember my mom making me wait until my dad got home from work to tell him what trouble I’d gotten into* & then I had to pick out the belt that I got licks with ~ l.o.n.g.e.s.t. few hours of my life.

            * It wasn’t even me who actually got into trouble ~ older girls on the block (one was babysitting me) had taken me to the mall w/ them & at some point during the time I was lost from them, they got caught shoplifting! Me, I was totally clueless & innocent (but apparently guilty by association) & you can bet that waiting those few hours in anticipation of a whipping was memorable enough to keep me from ever being tempted to shoplift again.**

            **Emphasis on ‘again’ ~ yes, I’d swiped penny candy before w/out getting caught, but never again, nothing no how, no way.

          • avatar DirtyLakeMichigan

            @ Shitty – yup, belt here too. My dad used to fold it in half and snap it. We got to choose whether we wanted the whipping before breakfast/lunch/dinner or after.You know, depending on what time of day we colored the radiator w/ permanent marker.

      • avatar abbie normal

        I disagree, Megling. I don’t think punishment should include shaming your child, especially not publicly. I also think it’s unproductive & would take the focus of the action being punished. As a teen, I would have hated my parent for humiliating me & not have cared much about what I was being punished for. In this case, I don’t think the punishment fits the crime.

        What takes this beyond the scope of acceptable to me is that it looks like the kid is crying. At that point, I don’t think a kid will be able to get beyond the emotional upheaval to process that it’s a tit-for-tat punishment. Fitting, yes, but maybe not effective. Depends on the kid, I guess. This would have made me wilder.

        • avatar featherbrained

          It has lasting, negative, and damaging effects.

          • avatar GetMePizzaYouOldTroll

            can you link to your sources? studies? books? etc?

          • avatar featherbrained

            No. I don’t have time. I have an adolescent patient and her family coming in soon. Do a search on Shaming in parental discipline. Do you have access to an academic library? I can recommend authors.

            I don’t do this online source thing. I’m here to quickly comment.

            • avatar Julie

              I have some time. :)
              Summary: Many studies show that too lenient AND too strict/disrespectful parenting BOTH lead to all types of problems. (By the way, “too” is partly defined by the child’s ability to cope.)
              1. Respectful parenting is correlated with a child’s ability to control her own emotions & handle stress: See Gunnar,M.R. 1998.Preventive Medicine. Vol. 27. pp: 208-211.
              2.Receiving too lenient & too strict parenting correlates with a child who becomes depressed, is less responsible, less self-reliant, more impulsive, rebellious, self-centered, less achievement oriented, and less cooperative. See Baumrind, Diana. 1967. Genetic Psychology Monographs. Vol 75. pp. 43-88. See also Family Transitions. Editors: P.A. Cowan & M. Hetherington.
              3. The research holds up cross-culturally. See Glasgow, K.L., Dornbusch, S.M. Troyer, I. Steinberg, I. & Ritter, P.I. 1997. child Development. vol 68. 507-529. See also Steinberg, I. 2001. Journal of Research on Adolescence. Vol 11. pp 1-19.
              4. Children who feel secure with their parents’ love & respect and with their parents’ willingness to “be there for them” tend to be more curious, eager to learn, self-directed. See Waters, E. Wippman, J. & Sroufe, I.A. (1979) Child Development. Vol 50. pp. 821-829.
              5. Kids who feel abused or who receive major insult are more likely to be insensitive to the feelings of others, to see the world as hostile, and possibly act aggressively. See Orobio de Castro, B, Veeman, J.W., Koops, W. Bosch, J.D. & Monshouwer, H.J. 2002. Child Development. Vol 73, pp. 916-934.
              6. Most importantly, some parents learn they can stop behavior using coercive measures. Kids then can feel disrespected and often begin ignoring parents, have tantrums, etc. Parents have to then use harsher methods of punishment. Delinquency is more likely in these kids. See Kiesner, J. Dishion, T.J. & Poulin, F. 2001. Conduct Disorders in Childhood and Adolescence. Editors: J. Hill & B. Maughan.

              There’s so many more, but I’m laughing at myself because I can’t imagine anyone is reading this far. If you did, thank you!

          • avatar Random Person

            Re: Shaming……Just think about your own relationships….say with a boyfriend/girfriend/spouse. Let’s say you do something out-of-line. What would be the best way for your partner to deal with it? Make you hold a sign saying what you did wrong and posting it on your twitter/FB/Youtube etc? Or talking to you privately on how you hurt them and what needs to change?

            I wonder if the adults who think it’s ok to shame children would like to be shamed themselves?

          • avatar HungryLikeTheWolf

            Seriously, RandomPerson? She made her hold the sign up on her social media account specifically b/c she abused her social media account.

            In your example, the boyfriend/girlfriend is doing something completely unrelated to social media and they get punished by holding a sign up on their social media account… not even remotely the same as this situation. You’re equating apples w/ oranges.

          • avatar rikkitimbo

            RandomPerson, if my husband was on an online dating website or something like that I would find it completely appropriate and fitting to shame him on that dating website. No problem. I think this is completely appropriate. And since when have most teenagers listened to private talking about what needs to change?

          • avatar Random Person

            Yeah, I could see that [the online dating example]
            But what would be the outcome of that? Would it help a couple get back together, or would it pretty much be over at that point?

            My point was that I don’t see why it’s ok to use public shaming for kids, when most adults wouldn’t appreciate that. How about this? You’re at work, and you’re not supposed to use the internet for non-work stuff. But you’ve been using for something else. Your boss finds out and instead of just telling you privately, don’t use the internet at work, he sends out an email to the whole company showing all of the sites you’ve been visiting. Which is more effective?

          • avatar rikkitimbo

            The thing is, it sounds like from her post that she tried that whole private talking thing and it didn’t work. I still don’t see anything wrong with it. You break the rules, you pay the price.

        • avatar topNot

          Thank you, I couldn’t agree more. The same punishment could have been served by posting the message without the kid in the picture at all. Even if her face isn’t fully in it, the body language and tears speak volumes to this kid’s humiliation.

          I can tell you from first hand experience how humiliation at that age sticks with a person. And my parents weren’t even trying to punish me, they were trying to be “right” and stick to an asinine set of principles.

        • avatar ShelleyMonster84

          The kid should be crying… its a punishment

          • avatar topNot

            There’s a difference between crying in the privacy of your own room or home, shedding tears over your frustration, disappointment, anger, remorse etc. regarding the punishment and being made to display that image of your crying self for the world to see.

      • avatar Lolabird

        lmao. my granny used to make me cut my own swtich.
        ahh West Indian living… :)

    • avatar Patrick

      Better for the mild humiliation now at age 12 then to be stuck with something really stupid you did as a late teen or early twenties that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Her mother had already gone through a litany of attempts and, as teenagers can be, the daughter was stuck on stupid.

      • avatar maibukkit

        Which is, ironically, what’s going to happen because this has gone viral.

        • avatar dandy

          Exactly. This picture can follow this girl forever. The original picture of the girl with alcohol is just that…stupid. But it wasn’t viral and it likely would have been quickly forgotten if the mother had just removed it.

      • avatar Straws

        How is this not going to haunt her the rest of her life?

    • avatar featherbrained

      Agree! This punishment is full of humiliation and shame. There are FAR better options. But whatever…don’t listen to me….this is only my area of expertise.

      • avatar HungryLikeTheWolf

        Okay, what would your FAR better options be? I’m curious b/c you haven’t suggested anything but keep talking about your expertise.

        • avatar featherbrained

          I wrote them on the 4th page of this comment thread.

      • avatar ImAHick

        I don’t have kiddos, so I’m only speaking from my personal experience as a teen–a long time ago– but even now I have issues that I blame, in part (obviously, I live in that basement, in my mom’s house, with all the other GOMIers), on my parent’s scolding/humiliating me in front of others (family, strangers, peers, etc.), and that lead me to believe I was one-down from just about *everybody* on the planet. I cringe when I hear/see a parent loudly correct a child in public. Maybe I’m just super-sensitive, I don’t know. I still leave the basement once a week for therapy so I can damn my parents to hell.

        • avatar coconutcreamnecklace

          No, you’re not sensitive. The ONLY thing that shaming accomplishes, is teaching the child that whoever has more power can wield it however they want. It may fix the situation immediately at hand, but it does not in any way produce healthy humans who are capable of using the situation to inform future decisions.

          I’m sorry that you were raised like that.

        • avatar Julie

          Thank you for sharing that. I cringe too. What was done to me, while I’m sure was well-intended, left permanent scars. And though it was public, it wasn’t done on the internet, left permanently there for everyone to see. You mentioned you might be super-sensitive, and I think it’s an important comment. What works for one child (in the larger context of a loving, supportive and respectful home) might ruin another child. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through. And, I’m hoping the child in the picture will be resilient enough to learn the lesson without hating her parents.

      • avatar Steve

        Anyone can be “an expert” behind the anonymous wall of an online comment thread. How do I know? It’s my area of expertise.

        • avatar Miss Noir

          As a volunteer firefighter in the state of Rhode Island, I am an expert on child rearing.

        • avatar featherbrained

          Yes, I’ve worked hard in this area and it is something of an expertise for me. Just like Caulk is among Afghani’s expertises. I also excel in reality TV viewing, celebrity memoirs, and addiction medicine.

          Just to name a few…

    • avatar LittleMissNosy

      I agree with you, Lexi– I don’t think humiliation is the way to solve this. I think she should have taken away her daughter’s social media privileges, but I think it’s unnecessary to purposely embarrass your child this way. It creates resentment, not responsibility. I also don’t love the idea of using one’s child as a warning to other parents– it just seems a bit self-aggrandizing. No need to turn discipline of a child into an adult mind-game.

      • avatar abbie normal

        Right. I agree. I also think it’s kind of mis-directing. Instead of the kid feeling shame over their actions, they’re humiliated over something else. Doesn’t make too much sense to me.

        I also don’t understand how equating shaming in relationships to shaming children is apples & oranges. They’re people too, although they don’t have a lot of the executive brain functions down pat. Or, you know, at all. :)

        • avatar Lolabird

          No, she’s equating posting nonsense online with shame. This is the same way she’d be feeling if she’d had nude pictures posted that got dug up 10 years from now. ashamed.

          • avatar abbie normal

            Do you really think that a 12 year old, as she’s crying & furious at her mother & posing for an embarrassing picture, is going to be ruminating on how ashamed she is of posting a photo online? Probably not. After she calms down & stops being mad at her mom, then maybe. It depends on the kid. If she’s going to be OMG mortified! for a while, it’ll take her some time to get over the embarrassment of looking stupid in front of her friends in order to get to the root of the problem.

            I was stupid & stubborn, so it would probably take me a few years. Whoops.

        • avatar heddy

          Maybe my mind is working differently because I’m super old now, but I keep feeling like this totally would have worked on me if I was that kid. I can’t recall anything that deterred me from bad behavior at that age better than looking uncool in front of my friends.

          • avatar It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia

            I totally get that, but even worse than ‘looking uncool in front of my friends’ was the wrath I thought I would have incurred from my older siblings (their ‘been there, done that, it ain’t worth it’ lectures were pretty effective on me).

    • avatar berfbarf

      But isn’t it humiliating to the mother to see her 12-year-old holding a bottle of vodka online?? I have a 12-year-old and I would die if I saw that. And then I’d probably kill him. A little humiliation is light compared to that.

  8. avatar Warren

    I’m all for parents being strict when it comes to how and when their children use social media, and for carefully monitoring their internet usage. However, I don’t like the idea of publicly humiliating a child. Not sure that it’s good for their self-esteem, and it seems like their must be a happy medium between engaged parenting and not embarrassing your children in a public forum.

    If she doesn’t like how her daughter uses Instagram, then don’t let her daughter use Instagram. Fair enough. But no need to broadcast it to the world.

  9. avatar FattyMagoo

    I like it in theory, but it’s super awkward that it’s gone viral. That might do as much damage to her daughter’s future as having posted the original people because now even more people know about her underage shenanigans. She should have locked shit down as friends only so the people who know her got the message.

    • avatar FattyMagoo

      *original picture not original people

    • avatar NotaFan

      Yeah, I agree. I’m on board with the original punishment, but it moves into creepy territory when the whole world knows about this child. Just having the child’s friends see it would have accomplished what the mother intended. But it probably didn’t even occur to the mom that this could happen. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with this shit yet.

    • avatar HeyYouGuys

      I don’t think future employers would look so negatively on her being reprimanded at the age of 12, as they would in her late teens/early twenties and putting all sorts of inappropriate things on the internet thinking nobody will see it. Now she’ll realize (hopefully) that things can go viral, regardless of how much you don’t want them to. As an adult, hopefully she’ll look back on this and laugh it off saying she earned it, as opposed to something she might do later in life that could actually hurt her chances at employment. But who knows. Maybe it’ll take years of therapy to get over, though it sounds like the mother feels she will be able to handle it, as opposed to her sibling.

  10. I’m fine with it. Kids these days (lulz) need a reality check, and parents need to be internet-savvy / aware of what their kids are doing online.

    • avatar idigya

      I completely agree. My younger cousins who are teenagers act as if they’re so brilliant and that they know it all. At 14 yrs old there is no way my parents would have let me drink vodka like my young cousin does. And she’s never punished for it. Parents are not here to be friends with their young children. Friendship with your parents is something that comes later in life when you’ve matured enough to make your own decisions. Thank goodness social media wasn’t around when I was a kid because my friends and I were punished enough from the wreckless stuff we did. I can only imagine that being online for years to come. I cringe whenever I see what kids post online thinking there’s no consequence for what they did.
      Yes, it sucks for her child that it went viral but maybe she needs to start using her brain to make smarter decisions. I know it’s harsh but my mom never thought twice about embarrassing me in public as a kid. And if you’re going to post photos of you and alcohol as minor on the internet which is about as dumb as dirt than you should be held accountable by your parents when they find out. You’re not being sneaky, you’re being stupid.

  11. What happened to keeping family things private? I used to be mortified when my mom would talk to her friends about me. This is would have sent me over the edge.

  12. avatar snarking from bumblef

    I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with what ReShonda did, but it sounds like by publicly shaming her daughter this woman achieved the very thing she feared most. Namely, publicly and permanently creating a record of the girl acting in a way that future employers or college recruiters might use against her.

    • avatar PlaceOfNo

      This is a really good point. I am sure this mother did not intend for her actions to be so widely publicized. I agree with what ReShonda did, and am happy to see an involved and aware parent who doesn’t just stick her head in the sand when it comes to the internet. But like you said, now the whole thing is public, and pretty much makes a hypocrite out of ReShonda, unintentional as that may have been.

      • avatar Super Nintendo Chalmers

        “But like you said, now the whole thing is public, and pretty much makes a hypocrite out of ReShonda, unintentional as that may have been.”

        How exactly does this thing going viral make the mom a hypocrite? She blatantly said she wanted this picture to serve as a warning to other parents to monitor their kids’ internet usage, and it’s gone viral and now people are talking about it. Plus the thing going viral serves to further illustrate the point that posting stuff online can have unintended consequences, which could have factored into why she scolded her daughter for the original pic in the first place.

        • avatar What he said

          You couldnt be more correct. This could have been a one picture punishment…ie: no instagram/ computer/ phone for a month or until you understand the consequences of your its something thats gone viral and will likely haunt this kid for years to come.

        • avatar PlaceOfNo

          She posted it on her own personal mommy blog – While she probably didn’t think it would go viral she was intending it to be seen by a broader population to serve as a warning like you said. To me it just seems hypocritical. “You can’t post inappropriate photos of yourself but I can post photos of you however I choose.” Meh – like others have said, this probably won’t have any real impact on her daughter’s future, and it is great that ReShonda is involved and knows what’s going on. I am already tired of talking about this.

    • avatar Shrug Bitch

      But does she use the daughter’s name? I’m not familiar with the blogger so I don’t know if her kid’s name is easily found through her site (like Lena on Dooce or whatever) but she’s hidden the kid’s face and her full name doesn’t seem to be anywhere on the page, which seems pretty discrete to me.

    • avatar Atticus Finch

      I hardly think an employer is going to hold something she did when she was 12 against her. Unless she plans to work at the Pentagon or something.

    • Yeah, Stanford’s going to turn someone down because a picture of her was posted on the internet 5 years ago. Right.

      • avatar Lolabird

        on the contrary. I think this would make an AWESOME admissions essay. just saying.

    • avatar jpa

      I agree completely. While I initially was on the fence about this, unfortunately we live in an age now where this could follow her around forever.

      • avatar heddy

        Like others said, the daughter’s original photo could haunt her too, in theory. But I’d worry more about the rest of the world if they SERIOUSLY judge her for something that happened when she was a preteen. If anything, she can feel proud in the future that her mom stayed on her ass and tried to raise her up right!

  13. avatar Super Nintendo Chalmers

    If the thing has gone viral it may serve as a message to the kid: social media isn’t some virtual playground where you and your friends can do what you want and no one will ever see. Your actions can have unintended consequences and quickly spiral out of your control, so think twice before you do shit. That’s not a bad lesson to learn, and better they learn it young instead when they’re 20-something years old and are in the job market.

    This is serious stuff, guys. The mother saw this as a way to effectively communicate the gravity of the situation. She even went so far as to not include the girl’s face in the picture. I don’t see a problem with this.

    • avatar BindsTheTuna

      This. I have zero problem with this mom, and I’d do the same thing.

      • avatar Samson

        I probably wouldn’t do the same thing, but I know I’m too soft on my kids.

    • avatar keevz

      You make a good point. During our recruitment programmes I have been appalled at some of the dip-shit things the candidates have publically posted or tweeted. My fav was one candidate who had tweeted the day before interview “On company’s time, sitting in the window-lickers bog watching the cricket – padded back-rest, sweet”. I had a LOT of fun asking him exactly how he thought a public declaration of a work-shy attitude and a disdain for the disabled would help his legal career.

      I think that ReShonda’s daughter is unlikely to make such a mistake after this!

      • avatar ISpeakAmerican

        It took me a long time to decipher that guy’s tweet, but when I finally did, holy cow! That must have been a fun discussion. I hope you made the most of it!

    • avatar HungryLikeTheWolf

      I agree completely.

      Also, I’m guessing that if she posted that pic, other kids that she spends time with are probably also taking pics w/ liquor bottles or doing other stupid shit to impress each other. Maybe this will also serve as a lesson that there are consequences to following the herd.

    • avatar idigya

      I think because social media is so popular among kids, it sets up even higher standards for them to be cool. They can now see what other classmates are doing outside of school. If it’s drinking or trying drugs. When I was in school, we never saw what other kids were up to other than who we hung out with. I remember in 8th grade it was the scandal of a lifetime when it got around that a girl had given a blowjob to a guy in our grade. But I bet now it would have been said on the internet without a thought of the consequences. And that’s the problem.. it’s showing all these kids, “hey this is what you have to do to be cool.” Without it, I bet they would be more themselves and not feel pressured into thinking they need to drink to fit in.
      This is just my opinion on one of the problems of kids using things like instagram, facebook, twitter, etc.. because they can get around parents by running off to whatever is popular next.
      I completely agree with what this woman did, it’s not going to be a hot topic forever but her child will learn that she needs to think twice about what is being posted on the internet.

    • avatar heddy

      Exactly. I think it’s perfectly fitting for the simple fact that the daughter’s face is obscured. I worry that those kids who have every facial expression and bowel movement documented online should be more concerned about their future reputations.

      • avatar beatzrhymesandshooz

        ITA. And wouldn’t it be better she learn the ramifications of posting inappropriate stuff online NOW, than later, like after she decides to text a picture of her cooch to some boy?

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