Lifestyle Blogging

Kayla And Checkers Will Raise Their Babies Homeless

Kayla, the 22 year old girlfriend of some guy named “Checkers”, blogs over at “It’s Always Sunny…”. Kayla and Checkers are “homeless by choice”. They are just free living, sweet hearted hippies, taking road trips and picking up hitchhikers and smoking and loving each other. Nothing wrong with that, if that’s how you want to live.

Unfortunately this lifestyle led in a roundabout way to Kayla’s 9 month old daughter being cruelly and for no reason ripped from the arms of her homeless parents after police found pot  in their housecar! And it totally wasn’t even their pot you guys!

The 2 hitch hikers have a MEDICAL MARIJUANA CARD.  They can legally have 19 pounds at them at any given time.  (There was 2 pounds in the car).

We were ALL charged with the marijuana even though they told the cop it was THEIRS and even though it was found in THEIR suitcase.

Kayla and Checkers have been “jumping through hoops” to get her back. Even if they “will have to take some kind of parenting/drug class or something dumb”, all that matters is getting her baby back and getting back on the road before blessing number two arrives.

Yes, “house-less” Kayla and Checkers are expecting another little miracle soon. Since their housecar is evidently still in a tow yard there’s no telling where they plan on stashing two babies if their first daughter is released to them May 31st. I’m going to assume child services did plenty of checks and that the couple is at least pretending to be living in an actual place zoned for residence for the time being.

I’m not trying to be a dick when I wonder again where exactly they plan on putting two babies when they have no jobs and no place to live. People WITH jobs and homes can barely make it with two kids. How long do these two think they can pull off couch surfing with two kids and no jobs? What happens when these kids need to learn how to read and write? And is this really a thing – raising your kids “house-less”???

  1. Reading and writing are constructs of a broken society. Their children will have love, man. LOVE.

    And hoof and mouth disease, probably.

    • avatar Conch Shell and Beetle Husk

      Surely Checkers can just crochet some vaccinations, right?

      • avatar Conch Shell and Beetle Husk

        “You got some extra cash in your pocket? Make sure it doesn’t go toward internet censorship, corporate bail-outs, or the war machine. Buy from us and we promise not to pay a single cent in taxes.
        With Love,
        -The Crochet Kids”

        “The world is ending. You only have 11 more months to live. Make sure you send all your money by Dec. 21st, and make sure to spend it on us. Get your mom, dad, girlfriend, friend, brother, sister, cat dog, probation officer, or boss an awesome end-of-the-world present. Order now to insure delivery by the apocalypse. As always, with love,
        -The Crochet Kids”

    • avatar Furious George

      I can’t even love this comment enough.

  2. avatar GetMePizzaYouOldTroll


  3. avatar Regina George

    I’m going to guess she meant OUNCES instead of pounds of pot, since 2 pounds of pot would cost several thousand dollars and I doubt hitchhikers have that kind of cash. But hey, what do I know, I’m totally a slave to The Man with my house and my insurance and brushing my teeth more than twice a year.

    • I read on her blog – of course I had to look – and she said something about wiping her baby’s teeth off with a wash cloth once a day. Really? It’s called a toothbrush, lady.

      • avatar herpderpsnarf

        Clearly, dental care is not high on their list of priorities. It apparently falls far behind “tripping balls” and “giving each other shitty tattoos”:


        • avatar Super Nintendo Chalmers

          CANNOT UNSEE

          • avatar herpderpsnarf

            I looked at it while eating. I lost my appetite. SO FUCKING GROSS.

            • avatar Shrug Bitch

              I looked at it while eating watermelon.

              In other news, I no longer want to eat watermelon.

              • avatar It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia

                I was eating some excellent Fideo for lunch when I got as far as that link, & now I’m sick to my stomach.

                we don’t brush them yet but we wipe them off with a wash cloth every day or so and will probably start brushing them soon

                God damn! WTF is the matter w/ these people?

                I finally figured out who what that nasty-assed mofo Checkers reminds me of … a tribal mask I got in Central America.

        • avatar monkeyduck

          I’m curious as to what made him suddenly decide to brush his teeth. “My teeth feel a little bit furry. I could use a refreshing tooth-brushing today!”?

          • avatar Random Person

            I am wondering…how does he not brush his teeth every day, yet she manages to blog so often?

        • avatar KERFETUS


        • avatar Ta Da

          Why I didn’t take the warning and now have to find a way to scrub my brain. Gag.

        • avatar featherbrained


        • avatar My Own Private Periodontia

          And by “you ” they mean “I”

        • avatar Furious George

          NO, this is what happens when you have gingivitis, and possibly scurvy.

      • avatar Regina George

        To be 100% fair, when a baby is on nothing but breastmilk/formula, just wiping their teeth off is fine. It’s not like there’s anything to get stuck in between. But she feeds that kid the same horrible sugar-filled crap she eats in the name of “baby-led weaning” so…time for real brushing.

        (And yeah, baby-led weaning is awesome, as long as you’re eat ACTUAL FOOD.)

        • avatar Conch Shell and Beetle Husk

          Yeah, she’s been feeding the kid solid food since she was a couple months old.

          • avatar Birthday Chicken

            Me too. I’m 38. My mother cooked though, and we didn’t eat chef boyardee stuff until we were out of pampers.

        • avatar pbpickledginger

          I did baby-led weaning with my kid, starting at 8 months. It was awesome. What was decidedly not awesome was our family members giving her sugary sweet stuff just to see if she’d eat it. You are totally right that this is the unseen problem with BLW–if you are going to do it, you have to do it right, and unfortunately some people don’t (just like with anything else).

          But I have to say that she is a great eater and we haven’t had any problems with being picky or anything, so I say BLW FTW!

          • avatar Say Rah

            Love it when the in-laws act positively SHOCKED that a baby will eat ICE CREAM. Who da thunk it?

        • avatar MeowMeowMeow

          Agree, just wiping sounds fine for a baby.. .it’s just the ‘every other day or so’ bit that gets me. How often is that? Once a week? Twice?

      • avatar pineapple head

        Dentists and peditricians actually recommend using a wet face cloth to clean new baby teeth daily. Most babies don’t dig tooth brushes at first and have to get used to the idea of having something stuck in their mouths and wooshed around.

        Still though…how clean is that washcloth she’s using? UGH.

        • avatar GetMePizzaYouOldTroll

          judging by the FILTHY clothing she puts on the poor baby, i would imagine it’s equally disgusting.

        • Okay, so I may have overreacted…I am still grossed out about it though.

      • avatar idunno

        Okay I’ll give her this. When my daughter’s first two teeth came in, I rubbed them with a washcloth for a while before introducing the brush. My pediatrician (which I doubt this one can spell, much less visit) suggested it as a way to get her used to having something in her mouth and the sensation and all that.

        But as soon as she got enough to chomp down on my finger, we got out the ol’ toothbrush.

      • avatar suzaphone

        To be fair, pediatricians often tell parents to wipe their baby’s gums/ new teeth with a washcloth! But pretty sure that doesn’t carry over to grown ass men.

    • avatar winnifred

      Actually in my state you can have just over a pound and a half in your possession if you have a medical mj card. Crazy but true.

      • avatar Regina George

        I still think it’s a typo since she said they could have up to 19 pounds legally. 19 OUNCES would be 1 lb, 3 oz which still seems like a ton but is much closer to what your state allows. 19 pounds is like “picture of a giant pile of drugs and weapons confiscated by the cops” big.

      • avatar dizzy_chicken

        You can have the most legal weed in Oregon at 24 ounces. Who the hell is sick enough to require 19 lbs? Like, seriously? Regardless, two pounds is more than 24 ounces, and if these hitchhikers were from California, it wouldn’t matter if they had a donor card anyway. The whole thing is just fishy. Maybe the cop lied, but Imma thinkin’ PotMama’s nose was growing a little in her rendition of the tale, too.

    • avatar Cat Ass Trophy

      Medical Marijuana, if they are really using it, can be very cheap. I have an auto-immune disease, and it is the only medicine that keeps me functional. Of course, an ounce lasts me for well over a month, and I do not smoke around the cats.

  4. whew. at least she got to feed her kid one last dose of laced breast milk!

  5. avatar Strawberry Shampoo

    I wouldn’t even put these two in Hufflepuff…

  6. WHAT THE HELL?! Okay, I can see them living in their van…lots of hippies do that. It may not even be weirder than living in an RV. Their having a baby in the van doesn’t interest me too much because honestly, it may not be THAT bad. (giving the benefit of the doubt) But picking up hitchhikers with a baby? That is some dangerous shit right there. What if they had crack in their bags? What if they were murders?

  7. These two are just so so stupid. About everything. Seriously, chick needs to get off the internet. She is not helping her cause.

  8. avatar GetMePizzaYouOldTroll

    i especially love this post of hers:

    Dear DHS,


    • avatar DirtyLakeMichigan

      Oh… she’s also going to make sure the cop that arrested them for having “2 lbs of pot” in the car loses his fucking job because she’s fucking way smarter than him! Fucking fuck fucker

    • avatar MeowMeowMeow

      Considering DHS seems to ready to give them their baby BACK I am having trouble not believing that they are just as dumb.

  9. avatar JuliasTooSmallTutu

    So…no house but thousands of dollars worth of pot?

    White people.

  10. avatar Shrug Bitch

    I normally love the guest posts Offbeat Mama publishes but I remember giving that one a major side eye when I first read it.

    • avatar Shrug Bitch

      Actually, I’m reading the 800+ comments on the original Offbeat Mama post and I’m pleasantly surprised so that many of them are calling her out on bragging about abusing government assistance programs – the crowd over there can give Jezebel a run for its money when it comes to self-righteousness sometimes.

      • avatar KAS

        Those fools will pat themselves on the back for accepting anything. There was a post a few weeks ago about a woman who chooses to be a sex worker (in the US, in a place where it is illegal) because, in short, she can make a ton of cash to pile up, and everyone was like OMG AWESOME.

        • avatar Ishkabibble

          With all due respect, you’re completely taking that entire article out of context. I’m not by any means an Offbeat fangirl, I have issues with a lot of the things they decide to post However, that particular one was incredibly and had one of the best comment threads they’ve had in ages.

          The woman who posted the sex worker story said it was an absolute last resort. She’s not doing this to get rich, she’s taking care of her kids after a really nasty divorce. She isn’t proud of it, she’s just doing whatever she has to to make sure her children are safe and happy.

          Commenters even remarked on the vast difference between the “House-less” and sex worker post, comparing how this particular woman would do the unthinkable to take care of her kids, while Sunny and Checkers feel free to take advantage of the system and expect tax payers to provide for them. I don’t recall anyone saying “OMG AWESOME”, but I do remember people thinking the woman was brave to put her children’s welfare above all else.

          • avatar KAS

            I looked it up, and I think I misremembered some details- the story I remember, from somewhere else, I guess, was someone who sounded like they had enough money and said they’d quit as soon as they had a pile of money all the way to the sky, basically.

            • avatar Ishkabibble

              I hate when stuff like that runs together in your head.

            • avatar pineapple head

              I remember reading a magazine article not long ago about moms who strip for the extra cash, like dad had a job and mom stripped at night and was talking about going on tour…

  11. avatar SilverOak

    I am working my field placement hours at the local CPS, and sadly cases like these are not unique. I do not doubt they love their child/children to be, but love alone is not enough. If I could get people like Kayla & Checkers to see what they do through their children’s eyes, I think they would do things differently. I would love for them to write out a note to themselves, from the view of the child. To point out all the good and bad things, there are about living the way they do. I know they believe themselves to free and responsible free flowing people; but what they fail to realize is that every morsel of food, medical care, gas, or joint they smoke is because of someone else (most likely the government.) That even if food is given to them by friends or strangers, it’s not something they’ve earned. They are both very young, and there is still time to get it together for the sake of the children. Do you hear that Kayla and Checkers?! It’s not too late, and they ARE agencies and people who can help you.

    • avatar dizzy_chicken

      This. Just…this.

      Baby-led weaning or not, I dare say you could put antifreeze in front of a hungry kid and he’d drink it. Not because he’s ready to be fed antifreeze, but because he’s hungry. Beefaroni is kind of a lateral move.

      Babies thrive in a safe, secure, CLEAN environment. If they can’t (or, as it appears, won’t) provide that…well…

      Parenthood entails sacrifices. It just does. And that’s not The Man talking, it’s just good common sense.

  12. avatar Macenlu

    I feel violated after reading that.
    And, annoying as fuck, if I didn’t brush my teeth for a whole goddam YEAR, I would have bigger problems than bleeding gums. That just pisses me off.

  13. avatar Reeda

    People like this annoy the crap out of me. Sure, they can claim to be all free spirits and shit, but their lifestyle necessitates mooching off friends/family/government assistance.

    • avatar Shrug Bitch

      She keeps saying that the gov assistance is “temporary” and they’re totally, like, going to start, like, an organic farm or some shit. DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY. I know they’re twee as fuck but Longest Acres is a pretty decent blog about living the “free spirit farmer” life.

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