Mommy Blogging

Internets Continues To Scratch Head Over Dooce And Tuff Relationship

It seems Heather Armstrong and Matt Tuff, the gentleman friend she has yet to mention on her blog, are starting to publicly acknowledge each other – at least on instagram. On a post early Wednesday Dooce wrote that she was on her way yet again to New York City, to which (hopefully both halves of) Tuff’s nose responded “See you soon.”:

Tuff had posted a photo of himself and Dooce to his instagram just hours earlier and the two exchanged sentiments, with Tuff telling Dooce she is “beautiful”, and Dooce responding that Tuff is “incredible”:

The question remains: are these two romantically involved? And if they are, will Dooce ever incorporate him into the blog or give any kind of heads up to her readers? And is Tuff her Mother’s Day gift or did her kids buy her a gallon jug of Cetaphil as well?

  1. avatar Fuck Toad

    Happy Mother’s Day?

    • avatar Expat A,Broad

      Everyone knows Dooche doesn’t celebrate Mother’s Day because of Bangladesh.

      • avatar blackkat

        Unless it is sponsored. BY A DEAD MOM. If you’re still reading this Dad, I’m a Democrat and I believe in gay rights, I even KNOW GAY PEOPLE. and sometimes I even buy shit off Etsy when nobody is making it worth my while, knowotamean.

  2. avatar Mind if I do a J?

    Is he going to quit his job, move in with her, and become her webmaster? The public wants to know.

    • avatar Sandy Snatch

      He can start up a Swim Herschel Swim tribute band called RUN TUFF RUN!

      • avatar Meg Murry

        HAHAHA! Pass the Windex; I need to clean off my laptop screen.

    • avatar DishPit

      Then Dane would be homeless. That ain’t right.

    • avatar blackkat

      He has a job??! Ooh, she’s trading up??!

    • avatar tuff enuff (AFGHANI)

      … as if he has a job to begin with


  3. avatar undeadgraceland


    :D heee!

  4. avatar vintage people & fair aisle sweaters

    I demand to see a full-frontal picture of his nose, no glasses,no filter.Is it real or make believe like Bernoulli’s principle?

  5. avatar New Year New You

    Who nose what’s going on.

    Ba dum tish.

  6. avatar Sandy Snatch

    She never smiles like that on her blog or in pictures with her kids. I guess it takes a pseudo-hipster ass-kisser to elicit any warmth or happiness from this iceberg of a woman.

    • avatar kelly gaura


      • I love when they qualify it with “But I roll my own from organic tobacco grown locally/they’re American Spirits” (I never get that, are American Spirits better somehow???). Oh Brooklyn, never change.

        • avatar DishPit

          (Gwyneth Paltrow allows herself one American Spirit cigarette per week)

        • avatar Respect privacy and lies OH MY

          FWIW, American Spirits claim to have no chemicals added. Don’t know for sure, don’t really care! LOL

          • avatar Miss Noir

            I like them because they take about 45 minutes to smoke one.

        • avatar Harriet the Spy

          American Spirits are made out of unicorn tears and the eyelashes of elves and they are fucking delicious.

          • avatar MEP

            The unicorn is crying because he loves your lungs even though you don’t.

            • avatar Harriet the Spy

              Oh, I know. It’s a terrible, stupid habit. And yet I keep picking it up because American Spirits are terribly, stupidly delicious.

              • avatar Lard Lass

                I love to smoke. I do not give a fuck if I die early; not really fancying being 90.

              • avatar HRM

                Lard Lass, healthy habits are not really about longevity. It’s about being comfortable as you live and die. My grandfather was sickly and miserable for 20 years before he died at the age of 90.

        • avatar Eyelash Sweater

          Supposedly they don’t have additives or something. I don’t know. They were my brand and I miss them a little bit, even though I was on the Ultra Lights in the end. D:

          • I was an AS woman myself. For seven years, I was tethered to the AS teat. Glad to be done. About a year after quitting, I accepted one at a wedding reception, lit up, took a hit, flew to paradise, snuffed it out and never took another hit, as I knew I’d be addicted for the rest of my life.

            Nicotine is a helluva drug.

    • avatar Liminal

      In the photos D. posts of her older child, the little girl doesn’t smile either. She just looks sad.

      Someone has said this before, but it will be interesting to watch this generation of internetted kids develop. I don’t know if there is any developmental precedent for the weirdness of it. Even children of rich and famous people, back in the old days, had some privacy.

      • avatar i ate and then exercised

        See that’s what I’m looking forward to. This generation is going to lead to some interesting psychology masters theses/doctoral dissertations on the weirdness of growing up in the facebook age and how it might skew development.

        /psychology student

      • avatar mountie

        I followed the old assistant, Katey, on twitter a long time ago and she would post pics of Leta looking like a normal kid, smiling, posing, etc. So, I think it’s just this weird image Heather just likes to portray of her little “nerd” child.

        • avatar blackkat

          Exactly! Leta’s personality as a media construct. Shudder.

          • avatar Liminal

            So – the mother documents only the sadness? Why would a parent do this? What’s the payoff? It is so calculated.

    • avatar Wait...What???

      I’ve never seen her smile….period.

      • avatar eina

        Yes. I’ve been following her blog for years, but when I saw that picture, I thought “Oh, that’s how she looks when she smiles.”

        • avatar twisted pearls

          If you go back three years, the whole family posed for a picture and she complimented Jon for being as stylish as a gay man because of the length of his trousers. She had a purple shirt and black pants and was SMILING in a fakey fake way while holding Marlo. Leta deliberately turned her back on Mama (probably after refusing to fix her a hot dog) and is BEAMING lovingly at her father. You could do a thesis on that picture alone. I’ll hunt it up.

          • avatar twisted pearls

            Not the ones I was remembering but the girls look adorable.

            • avatar I read her site

              That’s a bad dress D’s wearing.

              • avatar Mockingword

                I agree; those photos of Heather are awful. I really did not care for that haircut on her.

                The little girls look totally adorable though!

              • Her hair seems to look like shit no matter what “cut” she has. It always looks stringy and unkempt somehow. It looked slightly better when it was a darker color. She needs to stop trying to make platinum blonde hair happen on herself.

              • avatar nepspro

                It’s funny; I see these photos and I think Dooce looked so much better THEN than now. Although I personally liked the short haircut, it’s not that – it’s that she looked like she had some spark of life and happiness within her. I know it was pre-divorce-meltdown, so likely it was an illusionary spark, but I just look at her now, her sad sullen face in every single picture, except that one with Tuff that has been sharpened to highlight every single line on her face, and even though she’s grinning, she looks so much older, thinner, care-worn, and stressed out. I mean, divorce is stressful, and sure, people age as an inevitable part of life. Nothing wrong with that. I just get the feeling that her recent selfies are basically, “sigh, look at me, so sad, thin, and beautiful.” It’s so gross that she can only muster enthusiasm for boinking that pube-hair-beard guy, and in the pictures of her with her girls she’s all “blah, sad-face, can’t be bothered with them.” She is doing a shit job of her own PR.

              • avatar Brain Child

                Her hair looks like it’s thinned…and maybe there’s a lot of gray under that bottle color. (I can speak from experience on both points) She did have a stressful year last year, and depending on family genes, she could be going gray early.

                I didn’t have quite the stressful year as she did, but last fall, my hair got really thin over 3 months + the texture changed as gray hairs have grown in….her hair looks a lot like how mine does when I don’t put a bunch of work into it. Heather – calm down and eat a little healthier …couldn’t hurt.

  7. avatar ativanannie

    Do you think that’s a prosthetic nose? After all those selfless, I refuse to believe that thing is real.

    • avatar blackkat

      If it’s true what they say about men with big noses, no wonder she’s asmilin’ for a change.

      • avatar OldDudeHere

        Sadly, it’s not. I have a largish, multi-fractured nose (it IS kinda a target) and I am strictly average elsewhere. NOT THAT I HAVE EVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS, you understand.

        • avatar eeee

          I know that science* says there’s no surefire way to tell, but I’ve been around the block a few (dozen) times, and I’m telling you: Check the fingers – not the length/width of fingers themselves, but in relation to the palm/rest of the hand overall. A guy with a balanced, normal looking hand is going to be.. normal looking. A guy with a normal sized palm but noticeably short, or long, or thick, fingers – in my experience, every single time**, it’s been mirrored down below.

          Noses, feet, ears, all the rest – they’re hit and miss. Sometimes the correlation is there, sometimes it’s not. But fingers in relation to hand has never failed me.

          *How funny is it that every so often we get an official Big News Scientific Survey about this issue. How peniscentric IS this culture, anyway?!

          **And to be perfectly frank, I used to be quite a slut, so there’ve been lots and lots of times… and I have NOOOOOOO regrets!

  8. avatar maren

    he looks young enough to be her son?

  9. avatar Brain Child

    My side eye glance at her has to be because a few years back, she bitched about a trip to NYC for an OMERGAWD TV appearance that was going to keep her from getting home to celebrate Mother’s Day…now every year, she runs away to NYC at Mother’s Day without the kids.


    • avatar DishPit


    • avatar silveroak

      I remember this too. Duplicitous, is Heather’s middle name.

    • avatar raisesun

      I remember this too. And she was pissed because they cancelled her segment at the last moment. She mad-blogged a very short post mentioning it and said she would post the whole story later. Of course that post never happened.

  10. avatar Respect privacy and lies OH MY

    Has she had some dental work done? I seem to remember her teeth not being that straight…or am I thinking of someone else?

    • avatar Meg Murry

      I’m pretty sure those are her real teeth. I notice teeth. (Not in a creepy way. I just notice people’s teeth.)

    • avatar Coffee Tosser Wearing Toms With White Socks

      They looked like veneers to me. I notice teeth too. But it might be the instagram filter they used that make them look solid white instead of translucent.

  11. avatar Ali Cat

    Hey Dooce! You know what you should do? Moon all over some dude all over the Internet. Again. Worked out so well the first time and all.

    She’s so eyerolly. I haven’t read her in like three years and every time I read something else like this I high five myself.

    • avatar blackkat

      Maybe she’ll propose to him on instagram? She’s klassy like dat.

    • avatar mountie

      I guess Jon knows how his ex-wife felt.

      • avatar Lamemoniker

        Sometimes I think it would be awesome if he went back to his ex but then I remember she deserves better than him.

        • avatar Mountie

          For real. The first Mrs. Armstrong is seriously badass. No wonder Heather had a complex.

          • avatar True

            Agree. She does seem really cool.

            • avatar twisted pearls

              And nice. A nice, genuinely talented woman. Even though Mr. B “stewed” miserably for the last three years of their marriage (see the book of short stories somewhere on the net) she was nice enough to make sure he had proper bedding for his first night alone in San Francisco (he has mentioned this many times). Smh

        • avatar needaname

          Interesting… Under Press:

          “In less than 18 minutes, Karen shows her narrative range—embodying everything from a hardass war veteran to a reluctant bride—with songs so immediate and real they seem to have been there all along, waiting to be discovered.” – Sam Cannon

          Sam is one of Jon’s buddies.

          • avatar Lamemoniker

            Pretty sure Jon is/was involved in 3hive too.

            • avatar Mind if I do a J?

              Yep. He is/was/maybeing going back now he needs a job.

  12. avatar lalalalu

    I looked at a few of his pics from like 6 weeks ago and there were several fan girl-ish comments. Like JA fangirl type comments. Weeeeird.

  13. avatar instagremlin

    dooce smiling makes me feel ….

    i will take comfort in that it surely hurt, a lot

    • avatar blackkat

      Love that gif!
      Yes, her face muscles are getting a good workout.

      • avatar ativan annie

        But look at HIS face. Gawd, that expression. Maybe we need a Smugtuff site to go along with Smugmom, just based on his smugly-mug.

    • avatar gwenhara

      Dmitri Martin for the motha frackin’ win! Love him!

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