BERF 5: BERF's Birth
September 5, 2012
7:19 pm
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Kerfeltoe
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2040
Snarking Since:
November 21, 2011

You know the real reason she's so anxious to have this baby is so that she can start making money off this new top secret venture.

September 5, 2012
10:30 pm
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mcfearless
Senior Cat
Meows: 104
Snarking Since:
July 17, 2012

Doesn't she like the number 26? I feel like Davidson McSmugley is going to be born on September 8 and she'll forget how whiny she was because omg he was born on 2+6!

September 5, 2012
11:11 pm
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StaceyMcGill
Senior Cat
Meows: 166
Snarking Since:
May 3, 2012

Sorry to harp on this stupid point, but I really cannot believe how small and not about-to-pop she looks for 40 weeks. Her abdominal cavity's roominess puts her buttocks to shame. You guys should seriously see how ridiculous I look right now at 36 weeks. My belly is a huge, absurd torpedo and there's Kath talking about how comfortable she is with her half moon bump at 41 weeks.

 

Why are all her commenters falling all over themselves saying she's so omg brave and looks so omg great? She's so bravely gone overdue!

September 5, 2012
11:28 pm
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HAND CREAM UP MOTHERFUCKERS
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2406
Snarking Since:
February 19, 2012

StaceyMcGill said
Sorry to harp on this stupid point, but I really cannot believe how small and not about-to-pop she looks for 40 weeks. Her abdominal cavity's roominess puts her buttocks to shame. You guys should seriously see how ridiculous I look right now at 36 weeks. My belly is a huge, absurd torpedo and there's Kath talking about how comfortable she is with her half moon bump at 41 weeks.

 

Why are all her commenters falling all over themselves saying she's so omg brave and looks so omg great? She's so bravely gone overdue!

does it look like this, the scariest baby belly I've ever seen?

 

September 5, 2012
11:35 pm
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KAS
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Meows: 4809
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June 6, 2011
September 5, 2012
11:41 pm
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watchmefall
Senior Cat
Meows: 213
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June 5, 2012

That thing looks like a torpedo!

September 6, 2012
12:05 am
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PricklyPete
Senior Cat
Meows: 136
Snarking Since:
March 7, 2012

That is like shelf o' baby!
Kerf's torso is so short her bump starts right under her boobs.
And I don't know why she keeps thinking he's dropped. She is still carrying pretty high.
50% effaced and -1 station is like nothing. You could be that at 36 weeks.
Poor thing is terrified to come out. Like dragging a cat out of a carrier at the vet. Nails dug in. Nope! Not coming out, assholes!

September 6, 2012
12:23 am
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The Arts, Niles, not the Crafts! (aka Crayons)
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 967
Snarking Since:
April 11, 2012

Franish said

StaceyMcGill said
Sorry to harp on this stupid point, but I really cannot believe how small and not about-to-pop she looks for 40 weeks. Her abdominal cavity's roominess puts her buttocks to shame. You guys should seriously see how ridiculous I look right now at 36 weeks. My belly is a huge, absurd torpedo and there's Kath talking about how comfortable she is with her half moon bump at 41 weeks.

 

Why are all her commenters falling all over themselves saying she's so omg brave and looks so omg great? She's so bravely gone overdue!

does it look like this, the scariest baby belly I've ever seen?

 

Crop this just right and it would look like a giant fake breast.

September 6, 2012
1:03 am
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JIF
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1102
Snarking Since:
February 10, 2012

KAS said
I am also confident he will come before then!!

Just like she was confident she was going to give birth early…… OK, KERF, OK.  And why not strip the membranes?  Why not do something that might actually work if you're willing to do so much that is not proven to?  Is it because….it might hurt, you big wienie???

 

And that confidence comes from….where…exactly? You've never had a baby before. Even if you've had ten babies it's often very difficult to make such pronouncements unless they are real, obvious signs of progression and effacement.  Which don't include "my toes feel different" or "I felt like walking faster yesterday". Just hoping that baby doesn't wait until then doesn't make it so!  *Facepalm*

September 6, 2012
6:49 am
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StaceyMcGill
Senior Cat
Meows: 166
Snarking Since:
May 3, 2012

Franish said

does it look like this, the scariest baby belly I've ever seen?

 

Oh my god no. That woman wins. I don't know what she wins.

I'm slightly dissenting from the idea that there's no way anyone can have an accurate "feeling" about when they're going to give birth, even first time moms. I think sometimes there are signs and some women can be in tune with them. Just not Kerf, because she's, you know, Kerf and she sucks.

September 6, 2012
8:39 am
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snarkshark
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 573
Snarking Since:
August 19, 2012

pblover said

KAS said
I am also confident he will come before then!!

Just like she was confident she was going to give birth early…… OK, KERF, OK.  And why not strip the membranes?  Why not do something that might actually work if you're willing to do so much that is not proven to?  Is it because….it might hurt, you big wienie???

 

And that confidence comes from….where…exactly? You've never had a baby before. Even if you've had ten babies it's often very difficult to make such pronouncements unless they are real, obvious signs of progression and effacement.  Which don't include "my toes feel different" or "I felt like walking faster yesterday". Just hoping that baby doesn't wait until then doesn't make it so!  *Facepalm*

Yes.  This pissed me off, because I had my membranes stripped (they were going to induce me in a few days, so I decided to try it)– it doesn't mean that my birth wasn't natural.  The fact that I didn't have any MEDS makes it natural.  Fucking KERF.  I can't wait until she begs for an epidural at 3 cm.  And yeah, I agree that she didn't do it because she's still afraid to give birth. I think she'd rather waddle around town (I must have walked MILES today!!!!) and soak as much KERF-time as possible before everything won't be about her anymore. 

September 6, 2012
9:03 am
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Kerfeltoe
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2040
Snarking Since:
November 21, 2011

She thought her water might have broken? What? Was she wearing a diaper? How could you not know??

September 6, 2012
9:07 am
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Kerfeltoe
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2040
Snarking Since:
November 21, 2011

(one of my irrational labor fears was to have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night without a shower or brushed teeth!)

 

What the fucking fuck. Could she be any more narcissistic!@? God. I just cannot.


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