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	<title>Get Off My Internets</title>
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		<title>That Wife Needs More People To Raise Her Kids</title>
		<link>http://getoffmyinternets.net/that-wife-needs-more-people-to-raise-her-kids/</link>
		
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 20:54:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>partypants</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mommy Blogging]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=36970</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Jenna Cole Andersen, on Good Morning America and don&#8217;t you forget it, recently confessed that not only does she have her 3 year old son in daycare, she also has a part-time nanny: Well evidently that&#8217;s no longer enough &#8220;me time&#8221; for Jenna &#8211; she&#8217;s now looking for even more childcare help: For someone who &#8230; <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/that-wife-needs-more-people-to-raise-her-kids/">on to the tl;dr <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Jenna Cole Andersen, on Good Morning America and <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&#038;rct=j&#038;q=&#038;esrc=s&#038;source=web&#038;cd=1&#038;cad=rja&#038;ved=0CDgQFjAA&#038;url=http%3A%2F%2Fthatwifeblog.com%2F2013%2F05%2F20%2Fgood-morning-america-clip%2F&#038;ei=tKWaUbHaFqj00QHo7YHwBg&#038;usg=AFQjCNHbelNGYsOClNHFCKh8MHl2VVVUxg&#038;sig2=N1spK6AMeG-biZP4L2m7pg&#038;bvm=bv.46751780,d.dmQ" target="_blank">don&#8217;t you forget it</a>, recently confessed that not only does she have her <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/bathroom-baby-saga-allegedly-continuing-at-grandmas/" target="_blank">3 year old son</a> in daycare, she also <a href="http://instagram.com/p/ZTrjO3rqlQ/" target="_blank">has a part-time nanny</a>:</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-36971" title="Sure, ok." src="http://getoffmyinternets.net/gomipress/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/ughgil-560x554.png?6d87d6" alt="" width="560" height="554" /></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Well evidently that&#8217;s no longer enough &#8220;me time&#8221; for Jenna &#8211; she&#8217;s now looking for <a href="http://instagram.com/p/ZgjiYVLqvR/" target="_blank">even more childcare help</a>:</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-36972" title="uh...what" src="http://getoffmyinternets.net/gomipress/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/shutup-560x551.png?6d87d6" alt="" width="560" height="551" /></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">For someone who thinks all women want to do <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/jenna-cole-knows-what-women-want/" target="_blank">is have kids</a>, she sure seems to be seeking a lot of ways to not have to deal with her kids. Can someone tell me if this much childcare help is required for your average middle class stay at home mom? I mean, I don&#8217;t have kids so maybe it&#8217;s totally normal to have your childcare outsourced to this degree when your supposed &#8220;job&#8221; is raising your kids.</p>
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		<title>Scary Mommy Will Use Gender Roles As Humor</title>
		<link>http://getoffmyinternets.net/scary-mommy-sons/</link>
		
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 13:09:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>partypants</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mommy Blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Presented Without Comment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=36966</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Scary Mommy, supposed to be funny, has a delightful post up titled &#8220;25 Ways You Know You Have A Boy&#8220;. Apparently this is supposed to be some kind of funny listicle about parenting a son. In reality it&#8217;s a tl;dr modern version of defining male gender with snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails. I&#8217;m going &#8230; <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/scary-mommy-sons/">on to the tl;dr <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Scary Mommy, supposed to be funny, has a delightful post up titled &#8220;<a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/ways-you-know-you-have-a-boy/" target="_blank">25 Ways You Know You Have A Boy</a>&#8220;. Apparently this is supposed to be some kind of funny listicle about parenting a son. In reality it&#8217;s a tl;dr modern version of defining male gender with snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m going to ignore points #2 (&#8220;A girl makes eyes at your son and you have this weird urge to pull her aside and call her a “slut” (whether she’s 6 or 16).&#8221;) and #6 (&#8220;Your child asks you to marry him and you’re totally considering it.&#8221;) because I don&#8217;t even know why these kinds of thoughts would be happening unless your son is named Oedipus. But overall, her little list could really apply to children of either sex, right? I mean I loved &#8220;Airplane&#8221; and &#8220;Fletch&#8221;, regularly took my pants off in public, and rode the golden retriever. I&#8217;m also pretty sure my parents stepped on my legos, and guess what &#8211; I have a vagina.</p>
<p>Am I the only one that doesn&#8217;t really understand the humor in this list? I just don&#8217;t get it, but maybe you have to have a son to understand.</p>
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		<title>Mish Will Fat Shame Your Kids</title>
		<link>http://getoffmyinternets.net/misha-will-fat-shame-your-kids/</link>
		
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 May 2013 21:04:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>partypants</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle Blogging]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=36960</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Mish, loving life, does not love your fat kids. Yesterday she visited the Coca-Cola factory in Atlanta, and saw something that shocked her to her core &#8211; children on a field trip to a soda factory! She proceeded to post multiple photos of overweight children drinking soda (along with shocked and disgusted commentary about how &#8230; <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/misha-will-fat-shame-your-kids/">on to the tl;dr <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><!img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-36961" title="How dare a child have a field trip!" src="http://getoffmyinternets.net/gomipress/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/yepakid-560x415.png?6d87d6" alt="" width="560" height="415" /></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Mish, loving life, does not love your fat kids. <a href="http://www.mishlovinlife.com/2013/05/im-really-not-trying-to-be-offensive.html" target="_blank">Yesterday</a> she visited the Coca-Cola factory in Atlanta, and saw something that shocked her to her core &#8211; children on a field trip to a soda factory! She proceeded to post multiple photos of overweight children drinking soda (along with shocked and disgusted commentary about how they were daring to drink soda sample after soda sample) before asking the internet what is wrong with parents today:</p>
<blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Here&#8217;s the thing. I&#8217;m really not trying to offend. But don&#8217;t you think something&#8217;s wrong with this picture? We&#8217;re taking our <em>children</em> on <em>school</em> field trips to The Coca-Cola Factory and letting them run wild and bombard their bodies with cups and cups of sugary drinks all the while sending them the message that this is perfectly acceptable?<br />
Aren&#8217;t we supposed to be educating our children on the benefits of a healthy body?<br />
Aren&#8217;t we in some sort of &#8220;childhood obesity&#8221; crisis?<br />
And these poor kids, they don&#8217;t know better. They never learned, obviously.<br />
Maybe our schools should think of other educational field trips that don&#8217;t involve learning about the history of <em>Coca-Cola</em> and instead teach them more important things like <em>health</em>?</p>
</blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;">I wonder if it would be more acceptable to Mish if all the kids had been thin? Because the message here seems to be that fat kids should be in a classroom learning about salads rather than allowed to go to a soda factory with their peers.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Maybe Mish should have been taught that it&#8217;s not really acceptable to post pictures of kids on field trips for the purpose of shaming them about their soda consumption.</p>
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		<title>Kelle Hampton Will Rewrite Her Birth Story</title>
		<link>http://getoffmyinternets.net/kelle-hampton-will-rewrite-her-birth-story/</link>
		
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 May 2013 19:51:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>partypants</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mommy Blogging]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=36955</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Kelle Hampton, enjoying the monetizing things, is well known for using her children&#8217;s lives for attention. Well now it seems Land of Nod, purveyor of children&#8217;s furniture and decor, is also using her kids to sell  you things. The company has featured Kelle&#8217;s photo of her daughter and newborn son on their May catalog cover, &#8230; <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/kelle-hampton-will-rewrite-her-birth-story/">on to the tl;dr <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-36956" title="A CATALOG OF LIES" src="http://getoffmyinternets.net/gomipress/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/uhwut.png?6d87d6" alt="" width="504" height="384" /></p>
<p><a href="http://www.kellehampton.com/" target="_blank">Kelle Hampton</a>, enjoying the monetizing things, is well known for <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/kelle-hamptons-bathtub-baby-pic/" target="_blank">using her children&#8217;s lives</a> for attention. Well now it seems Land of Nod, purveyor of children&#8217;s furniture and decor, is also using her kids to sell  you things.</p>
<p>The company has featured Kelle&#8217;s photo of her daughter and newborn son on <a href="http://blog.landofnod.com/honest-to-nod/2013/05/the-story-behind-our-may-catalog-cover.html" target="_blank">their May catalog cover</a>, saying that her children will appear on several upcoming catalog covers as well. For May&#8217;s cover, they are using a photo Kelle claims was snapped at the moment her daughter first met her new brother:</p>
<blockquote><p>From my hospital bed I watched as my daughter protectively embraced my new son, slowly and silently bringing her nose to his until they touched.  And they stayed like that for a good minute while I wiped tears from my cheeks and reached for my camera.  Here she just met him and yet suddenly, he belonged to her.</p></blockquote>
<p>That&#8217;s all very touching &#8211; except for the fact that, in the <a href="http://www.kellehampton.com/2013/02/welcoming-dash-birth-story.html" target="_blank">birth story published</a> on Kelle&#8217;s own blog in February, the real story seems to be quite different:</p>
<blockquote><p>I didn&#8217;t cry when the girls met their brother but rather smiled and sat calmly on the bed, watching them, marveling at the fact that it seemed so meant to be&#8211;like he&#8217;d always been here and they&#8217;d always loved him.</p></blockquote>
<p>So which is it? Is this just another case of Kelle rewriting history in order to make a better story? Because if she&#8217;s going to do that it might behoove her to go edit the original story before trying to peddle a new version to Crate &amp; Barrel.</p>
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		<title>&#8220;Gluten Free Girl&#8221; Wants You To Pay For Her Eating Tour</title>
		<link>http://getoffmyinternets.net/gluten-free-girl-wants-you-to-pay-for-her-eating-tour/</link>
		
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 May 2013 19:40:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>partypants</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Food Blogging]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=36952</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Shauna James Ahern, totally expert cooking instruction giver over at Gluten Free Girl, wants to write a fourth cookbook called American Classics, Reinvented. Apparently no other person anywhere has provided recipes on how to make &#8220;classic&#8221; American food in a gluten free manner, and Shauna and her dirty-fingernailed chef husband want to fill that void. Obviously they &#8230; <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/gluten-free-girl-wants-you-to-pay-for-her-eating-tour/">on to the tl;dr <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Shauna James Ahern, totally expert <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/meanwhile-around-twitter/" target="_blank">cooking instruction giver</a> over at <a href="http://glutenfreegirl.com/" target="_blank">Gluten Free Girl</a>, wants to write a fourth cookbook called <em>American Classics, Reinvented</em>. Apparently no other person anywhere has provided recipes on how to make &#8220;classic&#8221; American food in a gluten free manner, and Shauna and her dirty-fingernailed chef husband want to fill that void.</p>
<p>Obviously they can&#8217;t just buy a few Good Housekeeping cookbooks from the 1940s and go grocery shopping. No, they need to &#8220;experience&#8221; the food. In order to make that happen, they are asking the internets to <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1009968318/eating-gluten-free-across-america" target="_blank">give them $15,000</a> so they can drive around the US eating food:</p>
<blockquote><p>We want to sit in barbecue joints in North Carolina, eat dim sum in San Francisco, make pie with wild Maine blueberries, drizzle honey on warm sopapillas in Santa Fe, and watch pizza being fired in great places in Brooklyn. Of course, Shauna can’t eat any of this. But Danny and Lucy can. And Shauna can take photographs, talk to the chefs, and take notes.</p></blockquote>
<p>The book already has a publisher and the pair have even received an advance, but they are quashing any questions about why they can&#8217;t fund this themselves by saying &#8220;This idea of traveling through the country to experience the food where it’s made? It’s our idea, not the kind publishers pay for, really&#8221; (I guess she&#8217;s never heard of &#8216;Eat, Pray, Love&#8217;?). And to cover all their bases, they&#8217;ve warned you that even if they get the $15k, &#8220;Life could happen&#8221; delaying the nomtrip.</p>
<p>After <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/gluten-free-girl-now-joining-the-widow-slam/" target="_blank">her behavior</a> during the <a href="http://getoffmyinternets.net/widow-donation-scandal-continues-to-raise-questions/" target="_blank">Hot Widow Boots donation scandal</a> one has to wonder who on earth would want to hand over free cash to this woman just so she can indulge in what amounts to a gastro-vacation.</p>
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