GOMI * Get Off My Internets http://getoffmyinternets.net Fri, 17 Apr 2015 19:00:17 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 ‘Oh Joy!’ – A Liveblogged Book Review http://getoffmyinternets.net/oh-joy-a-liveblogged-book-review/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/oh-joy-a-liveblogged-book-review/ Fri, 17 Apr 2015 17:03:33 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639823 on to the tl;dr ]]> TGIF Hams! It’s time for another liveblogged book. This time we are reading ‘Oh Joy! 60 Ways To Create & Give Joy’ by Joy Cho. I’ll be honest – I’ve been trying to read this thing for a week. I’ll get one or two pages along and just think ‘wut? who is this written for?’ but in my defense I’m neither crafty nor particularly into Pinterest type crap. So let’s get started! As always, I will update as I go…

I will say I like the cover a lot.

Check out my totally on purpose styling.

I’m pretty partial to bright colors, so based on the cover this is something that would make me pause if I saw it on a shelf. Unfortunately, that’s where my enjoyment ends. The book begins with a chapter about ‘Pattern‘. It’s 4 pages of black and white patterns with bright colored accessories, and two of the facing pages feature the exact same advice.

ECHO ECHO

Huh? I guess that was an editorial oversight issue, but it’s kind of glaring so I’m not sure how it was missed. Joy informs us she used to work for Cynthia Rowley and thus loves pattern play. She basically says if you want to mix patterns you should have a common color in both and use a simple pattern with a more complex pattern so there’s no ‘optical illusion’ problems. So, pretty exciting stuff right out of the gate.

The next chapter is ‘Whimsy‘ which is also 4 pages. Joy tells us art prints and accesories can be super wacky because that’ll make everyone smile – her examples are a huge print of a giraffe face and a couple of animal shaped vases. You can also add flowers to weird places in a room, and brooches on sweatshirts add ‘wearable whimsy’.

Then she moves into ‘Creating A Color Palette‘, which is one page telling you to pay attention to what colors you like and then use them as your inspiration. Then there’s a couple of pages for a project about ‘Dotty Wall Art‘ – this project is basically thumbtacks in a circle on your wall around which you string colorful yarn.

Whimsical cat hair and lint catchers!

After that there is a project for ‘Edible Confetti‘ – you are instructed to attack fruit and vegetables and herbs with a hole punch and add this to ice cubes or cream cheese. I am so confused as to who has time to do something like wrestle a hole punch around in that manner, but ok.

In ‘Floral Friends‘ we get two pages of flowers in people and animal shaped vases. Basically seems like an instagram dump to be honest. There’s a couple of pages about printing out twee stickers with cute messages…to stick on fruit. Yes, you are supposed to print out stickers with ‘I chews you’ and ‘So Good’ on them, and then decorate…your fruit.

Then we have ‘Thow A Pillow Party!‘ which is pretty much just about inviting your (presumably busy adult) friends over to sit on your floor with a bunch of pillows and eat cupcakes and mini-marshmallows because ‘slumber parties were so great when you were a kid’.  She then tells us to ‘Surprise Someone‘ by ‘adding flowers to an otherwise gritty corner’ (accompanied by a picture of a decorated chicken wire fence…) or leave some balloons on someone’s doorstep. I assume these are activities to do after all your pillow party friends are hopped up on sugar, because I for one have no desire to stand around decorating some abandoned lot with paper lanterns. But I’m a fun killer so maybe it’s just me.

The first person who does this to my fence will get a different kind of surprise on their porch.

She seems to have a fetish for sticking things on walls, because next up we have a project about making plaster letters to tack into your wall for a 3-D message. After that we have 4 pages of using contact paper to stick plastic flowers up on your wall as some kind of nightmare garden wallpaper. At this point I’m going to make this week’s drink and I’ll be right back to finish the second half of this increasingly bizarre book of projects.

This week's book club drink - Prosecco and Monin Rose Syrup

This week’s book club drink – Prosecco and Monin Rose Syrup

So next up, we have a full page and a half photo of Joy’s daughter and her dog with a paragraph about how her daughter reminds her to ‘be silly’. Because obviously no blogger book is complete without at least one picture of their kid, I guess. I really can’t figure out any other reason for this mid-book shoutout.

Skipping to ‘Flora On The Go‘, which is a project about painting a travel toothbrush holder and affixing velcro and duct tape so you can…carry around a flower on your bike handlebars. Or on your lawn chair. Or anywhere, I suppose. They sell things at the 99 cent store for this express purpose so I don’t know why you would go through all this trouble unless you just really want to make a point about how crafty you are.

Then we have a whole 4 pages about…contact paper. I guess contact paper is the new washi tape?

Please don't.

Please don’t.

Joy says she could ‘make a book of just things to do with contact paper’, presumably because she hates me and wants to make me suffer through that review. Anywtfs, there’s a picture of a desk covered in diagonal gold foil contact paper stripes, and a poor step trash can who never asked for any of this covered in gold and hot pink contact paper stripes. Then a lovely wood dining table covered in more gold foil contact stripes, and a lovely mid-century desk chair with gold foil contact paper striped legs. Why not.

Joy says we should ‘Visit Fun And Inspiring Places‘ because it’s ‘bound to give you a new perspective’ even though it’s easy to sit in front of the computer all the time. I totally agree! I try to go get inspired at the wine store at least twice a week! Then a project about ‘Party Puffs‘ which is just telling you how to spend 3 hours making those honeycomb paper balls available pretty much anywhere for about a dollar. Which sounds like a good use of time for busy adults.

In ‘Tasty Toppings‘ we get a list of mini-marshmallows, popcorn, chopped cookies, etc to keep ‘on hand’ for cupcakes and yogurt. I guess for all those pillow parties you’ll be throwing. If that’s not enough encouragement to overthink your sugar delivery systems, she then gives us ideas for things to stick on wood skewers for party food – more fruit and candy.

We get a one paragraph page of ‘Grouping Things In Clusters‘, saying ‘multiples of one simple thing’ grouped together ‘feels more lush’ than just one thing. Probably because it makes it clear you have money to lushly spend on more than one thing, but yeah, this idea is as old as HGTV so whatever. Then we are on to the next project – painting scooped out melons ombre in order to use them as flower vases.

But why is the rum gone and replaced with styrofoam?

But why is the rum gone and replaced with styrofoam?

I come from a world where hollowed out fruit is filled with alcoholic punch, so forgive me if I’m completely lost as to why anyone would ruin a perfectly good inebriation vessel this way.

Now it’s time to drink some more as we learn how to make a ‘Farmer’s Market Bag‘. This involves taking heavy gauge wire and stringing rope around it.

Everything about this screams 'Alice in the ER'

Everything about this screams ‘Alice in the ER’

Then we have a page of ‘My Favorite Flowers‘ which is…a list of Joy’s favorite flowers. Basically dahlias, which I can’t ever use because I just think about that poor woman’s fate, and mint and freesia. Which is fine. But it’s not really expanded on in a way that helps the reader discover their own favorite flowers. So it’s pretty much just a list for no reason. Hey publishers: I like carnations, where’s my lifestyle book?

(Making another drink and reading more, brb)

Inspiration Vacation‘ is pretty much Joy sub-bragging about going on vacation for inspiration. Which is fine. I’m not bitter that a vacation for me would be being able to shower without a cat staring at me or anything. But hey, good for her getting to hit tropical islands for the purpose of getting ‘ideas’.

And that’s it. The remaining 68 pages are just templates for letters, a ‘Resources’ section with lists of crafting and home project stores, and some recipes she mentioned in the book (cupcakes, cake, etc).

Thoughts: This is very clearly a book created for a niche of people who enjoy (in my opinion, pointless) projects for projects sake. Most of the ideas in this book are for things you could buy for much cheaper than you could make them, and the design/decor ideas are pretty much rehashed advice I’ve seen and heard everywhere for the past 10 years. The pictures are nice and high quality, which is nice; but it basically feels, as I said above, like an instagram dump. And I say that as someone who follows the Martha Stewart and Domino instagrams. Worth a buy if you just want to support Joy, but there’s really nothing useful to the average busy adult beyond ‘ideas’ or ‘inspiration’ for folks who don’t follow Pinterest.

In the spirit of fairness, you can purchase Oh Joy! on Amazon if you like. Not an affiliate link, btw. And now, time to drink!

Intern Loliverdog says 'Til next time!'

Intern Loliverdog says ‘Til next time!’

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Love Taza Is Selling Her Clothes If You Want Them http://getoffmyinternets.net/love-taza-is-selling-her-clothes-if-you-want-them/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/love-taza-is-selling-her-clothes-if-you-want-them/ Fri, 17 Apr 2015 14:28:00 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639821 on to the tl;dr ]]> wutwhy

Love Taza, as a family, is apparently selling off her clothes. She says she is in “crazy spring cleaning mode and wanted to sell a few favorites here before donating the rest”. For just $15 in shipping the highest bidder can own some used Anthro/Forever 21/J Crew/Zara clothing.

The fire sale comes on the heels of the announcement that Pippit went to the big app farm in the sky. If nothing else, it’s amusing to see how much fangirls will pay for used clothes just because they touched the skin of Almighty Naomi.

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Jessica Quirk Is A Reality Show Star http://getoffmyinternets.net/jessica-quirk-is-a-reality-show-star/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/jessica-quirk-is-a-reality-show-star/ Tue, 14 Apr 2015 18:15:01 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639819 on to the tl;dr ]]> Jessica Quirk, wears stuff, wants people to know she wears the same things over and over because she is super real. Saying “Yea, I wore the dress last week and I like it, so I’m wearing it again!” she then proceeded to rant about how blogland kind of sucks nowdays.

I’ve been a little disenchanted with the blogging world lately with all of it’s perfection. The outfits have become astronimically expensive and disposable. I don’t have the budget or desire to wear things once. Sure, I have a dozen designer pieces I’ve invested in, but I’ll wear the same $25 dress on repeat too.

That’s right – Messica owns tons of designer stuff, ok? All those other bloggers wear free designer stuff like Messica used to, but not Ms. Quirk. She no longer has the money for care/of Oscar de la Renta. She’s keeping it real now because she’s starring in her “own little real reality show”. Too bad nobody’s tuning in anymore.

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Ramshackle Glam Did Not Have A Heart Attack http://getoffmyinternets.net/ramshackle-glam-did-not-have-a-heart-attack/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/ramshackle-glam-did-not-have-a-heart-attack/ Tue, 14 Apr 2015 14:09:12 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639818 on to the tl;dr ]]> Today in blogger health news, Jordan Reid, still not famous, had a horrible moment recently.

…a few weeks ago I was just hanging around the house with Kendrick and the kids and suddenly I got this searing pain in my chest, and I swear to god I started thinking that I was having a heart attack, it hurt so badly. I was sort of pacing around the house rubbing my chest and telling Kendrick that I thought we were going to have to go to the hospital..

Described as “a can’t-move-can’t-stand-someone-call-me-a-taxi-because-I’m-done pain”, she “all of a sudden…remembered” it felt the same as an ulcer she’d had previously. Thanks to Dr. Google she diagnosed herself with heartburn. Evidently it keeps happening “‘like once a week” and it “shuts me down for a good hour or two”.

Her solution?

I don’t think I can drink coffee anymore….This is so. upsetting…Coffee is everything…I have to stop drinking coffee, I think.

Jordan blames it on “trying to pack and find a house and deal with the logistics of a major family move essentially alone”. So apparently now she is going to drink hot water and lemon rather than coffee. Instead of going to the doctor to see what the issue is, I guess, because as she says, “you know, doctor’s visits to prep for the procedure, the procedure itself, the follow-up…what to do with the kids…ugh”.

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Pippit Dies With A Whimper http://getoffmyinternets.net/pippit-dies-with-a-whimper/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/pippit-dies-with-a-whimper/ Mon, 13 Apr 2015 14:54:44 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639817 on to the tl;dr ]]> IMG_8520

Pippit, the ‘social media app’ developed by Mr. Love Taza, his wife, and Oh Joy!, has quietly died. An email sent out to users announced they have ‘discontinued support for the app’.

When we first came together in 2012 to brainstorm ways to bridge the worlds of blogging and social media, we laid the foundation of a new app, Pippit.
Our vision for Pippit has always been to create a beautiful social media platform that highlighted strong blog content with tools for discovering and sharing helpful information as a new framework for social commerce.  We shared the prototype of that vision last summer. With your wonderful support, Pippit was ranked as the #1 paid lifestyle app and #2 App of all paid apps.
Because of our other work, family life and commitments, we have not been able to maintain Pippit and its community at the level that we envisioned. While we have seen great success with the app in many areas, the tech world is new territory for our team and we want to be able to dedicate the appropriate time, energy, and resources needed to carry Pippit to the next level, which we cannot do at this time.
We have discontinued support for the app, but we thank you for your time, energy, suggestions, feedback, and the wonderful support that has come in many forms as we poured ourselves into this new endeavor!
We look forward to seeing you again soon in the online world.
With much gratitude,
Josh Davis, Naomi Davis, and Joy Cho
Co-founders, Pippit
The pippit twitter account has been inactive since November 30, and little to no mention of it has been made by any of the founders for several months. There is no word on whether the app will return.
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