GOMI * Get Off My Internets http://getoffmyinternets.net Tue, 24 Mar 2015 20:29:38 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 Natalie Jean Wants You To Know Her Book Is Not Her Fault Unless You Like It And In That Case She Is Super Proud Of It http://getoffmyinternets.net/natalie-jean-wants-you-to-know-her-book-is-not-her-fault-unless-you-like-it-and-in-that-case-she-is-super-proud-of-it/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/natalie-jean-wants-you-to-know-her-book-is-not-her-fault-unless-you-like-it-and-in-that-case-she-is-super-proud-of-it/ Tue, 24 Mar 2015 20:29:38 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639781 on to the tl;dr ]]> ‘Hey Natalie Jean’, the book by Natalie Jean,  seems to be disappointing about 50% of the planet. As usual Natalie will blame someone else for why it’s not anything like what she promised it would be.

Abrams requested a traditional coffee table blog-to-book kind of deal; a lot of photos, all lifestyle advice–such is the market (for a while they wanted recipes? disaster!)–and that really scared me…There was a bit of a song + dance that had to go on in order to keep a lot of the essays that made it in the final manuscript–Abrams wanted a ham sandwich, light on the infertility. I was prepared to write a Reuben.

Natalie then tries to cover her butt with the publishing world by adding “as far as ham sandwiches go, I happen to think my ham sandwich is probably the best one you can get”. She also claims that she wanted to write a bunch of meaningful essays because she is “far, far less comfortable positioning myself as some kind of advice-giver on aaaaanything” despite the fact that she has heavily branded herself as “the authority on creating a beautiful, hip, dreamy life”.

Evidently this is part of her the meaty stuff will be in my NEXT book campaign, because she keeps mentioning something about ‘next time’ it will be more essays. Whatever.

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Kristen Howerton Invites You To Mock Your Children http://getoffmyinternets.net/kristen-howerton-invites-you-to-mock-your-children/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/kristen-howerton-invites-you-to-mock-your-children/ Fri, 20 Mar 2015 19:19:25 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639778 on to the tl;dr ]]> umyeahasshole

Kristen Howerton, the wonderful human being behind “Rage Against The Minivan“, is cashing in on the latest parenting trend – shaming your children for comedic effect.

She has started up an instagram and a blog promoting her “A**hole Parents” hashtag. She put out a call on her own gram account, asking people to submit pictures. The images are basically children being children, because, ya know, how dare they. These pictures are then captioned by parents who are apparently tired of their little angels not being appropriately grateful or well-behaved 24/7.

I assume this is all supposed to be just hilarious to other parents, but it all comes off like a bunch of bitter martyrs wanting to whine about their kids refusing to act like adults. And I’m sure their kids will really appreciate being paraded as some kind of brat for the lols of the entire planet just so mommy could participate in a hashtag, but sure. Mommy solidarity or something.

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Gluten-Free Girl Is Selling Flour And Other Snackable News Content http://getoffmyinternets.net/gluten-free-girl-is-selling-flour-and-other-snackable-news-content/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/gluten-free-girl-is-selling-flour-and-other-snackable-news-content/ Thu, 19 Mar 2015 14:45:56 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639777 on to the tl;dr ]]> Gluten-Free Girl has a shop up on her site to sell that Kickstarter flour she was going to produce. 2 1/2 lbs of her super special flour will cost you about $26 with shipping. That seems reasonable.

Young House Love‘s second book Lovable Livable Home: How to Add Beauty, Get Organized, and Make Your House Work for You is evidently going forward despite the closure of their blog. It is up for pre-order on Amazon.

Love Taza begins encroaching on World Famous Author Natalie Jean’s Brooklyn Hipster kingdom by announcing she’s ‘in Williamsburg’ working on ‘something exciting’.

Super successful blogger The Feminist Breeder is having a personal debate about whether to accept a real job or continue being broke and selling off her stuff on craigslist.

Some fashion blogger named Mimi G is taking herself on a “multi-city tour” to teach you how to be a successful blogger. I’ve never heard of her, so I will not be signing up.

And CecilyK, ‘snackable content’ expert, will be taking her hair to NMX in order to speak about being a successful content marketer. Because when people think of success, they think of Cecily Kellogg for sure.

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Whole Pantry Empire Begins To Crumble http://getoffmyinternets.net/whole-pantry-empire-begins-to-crumble/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/whole-pantry-empire-begins-to-crumble/ Tue, 17 Mar 2015 01:28:14 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639776 on to the tl;dr ]]> The Whole Pantry, the app and community created by magical mystery cancer lady Belle Gibson, appears to be unraveling. The app is apparently no longer found on the Apple App Store – and publisher Penguin has pulled the ‘Whole Pantry’ book.

…we have been left with no other option but to stop supplying the book in Australia. We remain hopeful that we will receive the formal assurances we have requested in the coming days…

Since Belle’s instagram has been emptied of photos and the Whole Pantry facebook page seems to be unavailable, media outlets can only continue to wait for some sort of statement from Belle about what exactly is going on.

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Love Taza Will Make You Pose With That Dolphin http://getoffmyinternets.net/love-taza-will-make-you-pose-with-that-dolphin/ http://getoffmyinternets.net/love-taza-will-make-you-pose-with-that-dolphin/ Fri, 13 Mar 2015 17:45:03 +0000 http://getoffmyinternets.net/?p=639774 on to the tl;dr ]]> PERFORM FOR MOMMY

Taza, of the von Derp Family Performers, is taking a break from sponsored food box posts to faff around Hawaii on a sponsored trip to some resort. While there, she shoved her daughter up to a captive dolphin because vacation or no, the show must go on.

I won’t get into my feelings about this sort of thing, but hey, the dolphin got some fish afterwards. So at least someone is getting paid for their performance, right?

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