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Congratulations, Cary! You got married before 30, just like you always wanted. Sorry nobody bought you that $700 gravy boat though.
Happy Radical Friday, hams! It’s time to tap away that negative haterness and join me in reading Gala Darling‘s limited edition, available for one month only, life-altering book, ‘Radical Self Love – A Guide To Loving Yourself And Living Your Dream’. Get yourself a pink drink, put on some Instagrammable shoes, and let’s love each other radically.
Jordan Reid, super chill parent, has arrived with her family at their new home in ‘San Francisco’s South Bay’. She immediately exchanged the daisy duke shorts she apparently wore for two straight weeks of road tripping for a bikini in order to do a sponsored post about wine and bbq around their new pool. Her “kids are ob. sessed” with that giant shimmering hole full of water in the backyard. Thankfully Jojo takes pool safety very seriously.
As an aside, because the safety issues surrounding kids and pools clearly deserve mention – our approach this weekend was to have a serious talk with our son about pool safety, confirm that the gate around the pool was secure, and install a home security system that also chimes whenever the doors to the backyard open.
When her readers mentioned she might want to get a regulation locking fence around the pool, what with two kids under 4 running around, she responded that they take pool safety “extremely seriously” and that this “wasn’t the only conversation we had or will have with our son” because “safety in and around the pool” is something they will “improve upon as we settle into our new home”. Jeez, they checked the gate so, shut up about the pool already people! Focus on the wine shill and telling Jojo how hot she looks in a bikini! It’s like you missed the whole point of her bikini and wine filled post.
Jordan Reid, self-proclaimed ‘writer’, is on her family roadtrip from NYC to San Jose. Along the way she decided to stop in Hot Springs, Arkansas for a ‘couple of days’.
I want to be clear: there are great things about the area. It is beautiful out there in the country…There is so much poverty. There is so much decay. And god, is there ever a lot of racial tension; you can practically feel it in the air.
The ‘liberal resident of a coastal state’ then described the horrifying situations she was exposed to in omgAR.
The hotel we stayed in – which was the second-nicest one in town, from what I gathered – had cockroaches on the floor, chipped walls in the elevators, trash on the mattresses, a two-foot-wide pool of water in the carpet from a leaky air conditioner, and burned-out lightbulbs. Outside the hotel sat a woman in a wheelchair wearing a Confederate flag t-shirt, smoking alternately from the long cigarettes she held, one in each hand.
This basically sounds like something from any number of New York City neighborhoods, so I’m not sure why she had to travel to Dixie to experience such upsetting sights. She goes on to say the ‘hotel received two visits from police officers within twelve hours (two that we knew of, at least)’; that she heard someone use the n word; that she and her family unwittingly rode in an elevator where someone had been pepper sprayed minutes before.
I can’t feel good about having gone to this place, and failing to show you what I really saw. Because there was a dark and ugly undercurrent hiding behind the facade of leisure…
Jordan is responding to the collective ‘wtf?’ of much of her audience by saying ‘it was important to write about it – if only for the reason that writing gets people talking’. Because obviously nobody was discussing poverty and racism in America until a white, upper middle class lady from a white, upper middle class suburb told everyone how awful poverty and racism are, and she should know because she made a choice to stay in a bad hotel that one time.
Happy Memorial Day weekend! We were sent home at 1 today and I don’t have to be back in until Tuesday, so I thought I’d try to knock out the first half of this week’s Book Club this afternoon, then wrap it up tomorrow afternoon. Since I never finish them in one day anyway, amirite. I hope you have Monday off because we’re about to begin a journey into the land of beige that may require several days of recovery. Of course I’m talking about ‘Cupcakes and Cashmere At Home’, the second book by Emily Schuman. Let us proponent!