Internets WTF

Mandy Will Ban You All During A Tantrum

Mandy, attended Northwestern, recently wrote a rambling blather of a post about waking up her old writing teacher in the middle of the night. You see, James Foley attended Northwestern. Mandy also attended Northwestern, where she took writing classes from a professor at Northwestern.


Anyway, the post is basically Mandy trying in some ham fisted way to make the murder of a journalist in Iraq all about Mandy, and that it hit her harder than anyone else…because James Foley attended Northwestern, and so did Mandy, and Mandy is also a “journalist”. Or something. If you’re confused, don’t worry – so was pretty much anyone else who read her post. When people started commenting with critical feedback, Mandy did what any professional journalist would do – went on a buhlete spree.


Over 100 comments were removed, and when commenters complained, Mandy used her Northwestern journalistic training to solve that problem as well.


After commenters began emailing xoJane staff asking WTF was going on, Mandy apparently had a change of heart. Deleted comments are reappearing, and Mandy says it all happened because she had a bad day.


Such journalist! So in the same peer group as James Foley. She then went on to claim all accounts have been unbanned, though many users are disputing this.



“Handbasket” Thinks Churches Should Stop Worrying About Sex Offenders

Mrs. Handbasket, pro-sex offender, is at it again. This time Handy’s telling churches “how a congregation should respond to sex offenders among them”. Blasting the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America for publishing a legal guide for dealing with sex offenders in their congregations, Handbasket begins at the point that is always central to their mind – pedophiles.

Let’s begin with the casual use of that frightful word, pedophiles. Most sex offenders are not pedophiles, not even those who offend against children. Most pedophiles are not sex offenders. Pedophile is a word meant to frighten you.

Handbasket claims the “recidivism rate of sex offenders is extremely low” and balks at the suggestion that sex offenders not be allowed to use church restroom facilities alone. After trying to refute the idea that these rules are in place to assure congregants of “the role of the church as “sanctuary,”", Handy then goes on to complain that those convicted of non-sexual crimes have no such restrictions and how is that fair, people?

Since Handbasket has already claimed child pornography isn’t rape we probably shouldn’t be surprised by anything they say anymore.


Internets WTF

Matt Walsh Thinks Robin Williams Made A Bad Decision

Matt Walsh, probably owns a satin shirt, decided to use his platform today to expound upon the death of beloved celebrity Robin Williams. After tweeting a statement saying “When we talk about depression we shouldn’t pawn the whole thing off on “chemical imbalances”", he decided to write a post titled “Robin Williams didn’t die from a disease, he died from his choice”.

It’s a tragic choice, truly, but it is a choice, and we have to remember that. Your suicide doesn’t happen to you; it doesn’t attack you like cancer or descend upon you like a tornado. It is a decision made by an individual. A bad decision. Always a bad decision.

Going on to say he doesn’t understand how religious people can “declare unequivocally” that depression is solely a physical problem, he reiterates that if you take your own life, it’s your fault.

First, suicide does not claim anyone against their will. No matter how depressed you are, you never have to make that choice. That choice. Whether you call depression a disease or not, please don’t make the mistake of saying that someone who commits suicide “died from depression.” No, he died from his choice. He died by his own hand.

But don’t worry, Matt has the answer, claiming “we can debate medication dosages and psychotherapy treatments, but, in the end, joy is the only thing that defeats depression”. Maybe Matt should get in touch with Sally at Already Pretty, since she seems to think you can overcome depression by just getting out of your pajama pants.



The Epic Battle Between Jezebel And Gawker Now Begins

At around noon today, the Jezebel staff posted an accusatory article titled “We Have a Rape Gif Problem and Gawker Media Won’t Do Anything About It”. In the article they claim 4Chan members are posting “violent rape gifs” in their comments – and despite complaining “to higher ups on Gawker’s editorial side for months”, “Nothing has changed.”

For months, an individual or individuals has been using anonymous, untraceable burner accounts to post gifs of violent pornography in the discussion section of stories on Jezebel. The images arrive in a barrage, and the only way to get rid of them from the website is if a staffer individually dismisses the comments and manually bans the commenter.

Saying “[n]one of us are paid enough to deal with this on a daily basis” and “it’s time the company had its feet held to the fire”, the staff claims the problem comes down to Kinja being a crappy platform.

…because IP addresses aren’t recorded on burner accounts, literally nothing is stopping this individual or individuals from immediately signing up for another, and posting another wave of violent images…and then bragging about it on 4chan in conversations staffers here have followed…

Jezebel staff even brought it up in staff meetings, and were “told that there were no plans to enable the blocking of IP addresses, no plans to record IP addresses of burner accounts”.

In refusing to address the problem, Gawker’s leadership is prioritizing theoretical anonymous tipsters over a very real and immediate threat to the mental health of Jezebel’s staff and readers.

They concluded by saying if another company were forcing its female employees “to manage a malevolent human pornbot” they would report it and “cite it as another example of employers failing to take the safety of its female employees seriously”.

This should be interesting. I haven’t been able to find a public response from Gawker.


Internets WTF

JoAnn Would Like To Share Her Feelings About Everything

JoAnn, of the facebook group “JoAnn’s blog”, has a few thoughts on the use of the word gay. Actually, she has a lot of thoughts about it. And many feelings too, apparently.

I tried to use my thesaurus to find the original English translation of the word “gay.” And guess what? There literally was no comparative word, none, nada, zip! It’s like the word gay no long is to be used to describe and giddy feeling.

JoAnn continued her search for clarity and “thesaurused” other words:

I keyed in the words “queer” and “fairy” and feminine and got the exact English translations to their definitions. So why not the word homosexual? Because for all the whooplah and coming out of the closet celebrations, homosexuals are still ashamed. And IMHO, they should be.

After telling you to be ashamed of being gay, she goes on to admonish you for…not being proud of it?

If you are not ashamed of your decisions, then straight up say so. You announce to the world you are gay? You parade around, or should I say “sash-ay” around, tilting your heads and wiggling touches, looking like you’re available for an afternoon or twilight delight…If you are a man, than for God’s sake, stop acting femmie! It’s gross. Act like a man!!

But don’t think “straight up say so” means you can actually “say so” around JoAnn!

The minute they say, “I’m gay” you immediately know HOW they have sex with a MAN, the only way a man can have sex with a man…I don’t give a flyin flip what you do in your private life, so STOP INFORMING ME OF IT.

It’s not just gay men JoAnn hates. She apparently hates heterosexual women as well, telling them to stop “behaving like gutter trash, like slut-slop”, and saying you need to act like a woman instead of a “dike” because “you are telling everyone that you are no different than a skanky, sloppy seconds smellin’ whore”.

JoAnn enters the home stretch by telling the internets that she knows “I’ve convinced every homosexual reader that I can be labeled a homophobic. (I totally am not!)” before going on to tell you to stop “acting like a limp dishrag, and a woman with a tool belt” and “at least pretend” to be a real man or a real woman. She ends her tirade by chastising the LGBT community for using “God’s signature as your banner”.

A Rainbow was God’s signature promise to a man and his family that He would never destroy the earth with a flood again. That man was Noah.

Be sure to click over and read the entire rant. It is truly a thing of internet beauty and lols.