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Cary Randolph Knows How To Eat

Cary Randolph Kennedy Jefferson Washington Fuller, American girl, is regularly asked by anonymous tumblr people for advice. Yesterday a curious reader wanted to know “…what is your diet like?” The American Ms. Fuller responded with her usual combination of wit and relatability:

Funny story: I was on a date recently, and the guy asked me what I like to do besides running. Paused for a moment, asked myself, What are my hobbies? Then looked him in the eye and said, “Well, I like to eat.”

So here’s a typical day in the appetite of moi: egg whites and a piece of cheese or a green juice for breakfast (plus green tea with Splenda), Cobb salad for lunch, Larabar and half-pint of blueberries in the afternoon, salad for dinner, half a PBJ for dessert.

But that’s a good day. Here’s a “bad” one: bacon-egg-and-cheese croissant for breakfast, crab cake salad with French fries for lunch, handful of M&M’s in the afternoon, martini-and-sushi binge fest and gelato at dinner.

Bottom line: eat what you want when you want it (within reason), and then kill yourself at the gym and on the trail. Feel fat? Eat less, and move more.

Did she seriously say “half a PBJ for dessert”? On a “good day”? And then instruct you pork out (within reason?) and then “kill yourself” at the gym??? Cary. CARY honey. I know you’re trying to seem “real” with your little all American PBJ anecdote but come the freck on.

And there is no universe imagined by Carl Sagan in which I would stuff myself with whatever I want and then spend hours in a gym to make up for it. That’s just swinging between extremes for no reason and smacks of a borderline eating disorder. You live in NYC where the average person walks 2 miles a day and you run marathons, Cary. I think you’re allowed french fries and binge drinking on occasion without the guilt laden aftermath of killing yourself at the gym.

WTF woman.

  1. avatar nom nom nom

    She says in her bio that running “keeps her pendulum swinging”. I guess this is what she means by that?

  2. avatar AshleyGaGa

    Sadly, I didn’t see anything wrong with her post.
    Maybe there’s something wrong with me.
    I need to get checked out.

    *Off to see my psychiatrist.*

    • avatar AQNR

      Exercise bulimia is a real thing. It’s one thing to say “Hey, the last few weeks have been sedentary and I’ve been chowing down; maybe I’ll think about ramping up my workouts a bit for a while” but “MUST WORK OUT MADLY BECAUSE I ATE FOOD AND FEEL FAT” is textbook exercise bulimia.

      I don’t get “borderline eating-disordered” from this post, I get “active eating disorder” from it in the way she not only doesn’t critique the illogic of her methods (because that really isn’t how metabolisms work; you can’t “burn off” an extra few hundred calories by over-exercising the same day you eat them) but offers them as advice.

      At least she didn’t say “thinspo” so there’s that.

      • avatar Purple Prose

        Also, I don’t consider eating a hobby and would find it strange if someone answered “What do you like to do?” with “Eat.”

        • avatar MissMolly

          Now thats actually funny, because eatign / cooking/ anything involving food, is most definitely a hobby of mine!

          • avatar SnarkyPuss

            I wish I could like this. I’m with you about eating/cooking being a hobby for me.

            I make up for it by having a genetically decent metabolism and exercising like 3 times a week but man do I love me some food.

          • avatar It's Always Shitty in Donkadelphia

            Same here. I really enjoy good meals, so having ‘em on the regular is what I consider to be a highlight worth shooting for on a daily basis.

            Now, if I could just learn to like housework too …

        • avatar Expat A.Broad

          Right on.

      • avatar MissMolly

        Theres a lot more to exercise bulima than that one thing. Seriously, do your research people. A person might think that working out like a crazy person after over eating might help them lose the calories, etc, but that is far from being in the middle of any sort of disorder. Maybe uneducated, but not necessarily a disorder.

        • avatar maibukkit

          THANK YOU.

          Compulsive exercise is a behaviour, and while some people with EDs may believe it has a purgative effect, no one in academia has found validity to the “non-purging” bulimic subtypes (exercise bulimic being in that group). Level of attachment to exercise, regardless of how much or what the activity is, is what defines it as a compulsion, so whether it’s fifteen crunches after every meal or 15 hours of running every day, it’s what it does to your mind that matters. If you can stop without feeling guilty, you’re probably all right. The belief that exercise “burns” calories or makes up for eating is propagated by bad weight loss advice and the idea that the body gains and loses on a daily basis rather than over time.

          YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN THAT. #obligatory.

    • avatar rascalalalala

      me neither… who knew I was so crazy? Some days I eat more, some days I eat less. When I am feeling pudgier than normal (or, my clothes are tighter than normal) I try and pull back either volume or type of food, or, workout more. I don’t think there is anything disordered about that.

  3. avatar boombalatty

    She’s got the right idea, but expressed it very poorly. More importantly, why is she dressed like an escort?

    • avatar Fat Freddys Cat

      Well if this occurred to you too, I don’t feel like such a perv. When I look at that picture, I keep hearing Rodney Daingerfield asking “Wanna earn fourteen dollars the hard way?”

    • avatar SleazeFrieze

      I was thinking, specifically, a malnourished late 90s/early 00s escort in a moderately tacky Vegas hotel.

  4. avatar melissa

    I’ll never get these handful of this, 1/2 a sandwich, 3/4 of whatever, 1/2 glass of wine people. srsly. Am I the only one who finishes a bag of M&M’s or a whole sandwich???!?!?!?!?!

    • avatar cynicalkitty

      I always fine the whole box, um, I mean whole glass of wine.

    • avatar HamSweetHam

      Yeah, I kinda don’t get it either. If I’m not hungry for a whole entire sandwich/muffin/manatee, sure, I don’t give a shit about splitting it in half, but it is okay to eat the entire thing if you are hungry. I’m going to WRECK a giant sandwich in its entirety later and it’s going to be magnificent.

      • avatar melondrama doesn't even have a blog

        Back when I used to work in an office, I used to get those full-size sandwiches from Pret and my male co-workers would be all, “har har, that’s a MANwich!” Oh, so only men get to eat full-sized portions? Fuck off.

        • avatar HamSweetHam

          I have a fraught relationship with lunch and coworkers. I used to eat with a group of young women who would painstakingly measure their 1/4 of this and 1/2 of that, calculating down to the last gram of carbohydrate, fretting about the fat content of a few garbanzo beans–and then when another woman would sit down with a perfectly normal slice of pizza or some mac and cheese, there would be a chorus of “Ooooh, you’re being BAD today!” It was just a weird echo chamber of Who Can Eat The Least, Tee Hee.

          I started demolishing my giant sandwiches at my desk and feeling much better.

          • avatar Shrug Bitch

            I sit across from a girl who does that shit with me and I almost strangled her today.

            Her: Wow, you have a big lunch today.
            Me: [eating normal portion size of leftover chili] Uh, sure.
            Her: And you have cheese on it?
            Me: Yup.
            Her: You must be SO FULL.
            Me: Not really.
            Her: I know I could, omg, I can’t even imagine eating that much!
            Me: ……….

            So I crop-dusted her when I got up next.

            • avatar KERFETUS

              I don’t know what that means in this context, but it almost makes me wish I had coworkers to crop-dust. Almost.

              • avatar Shrug Bitch

                “Crop dusting” is when you fart while walking so nobody can tell where the smell comes from. I used to do it to annoying tables when I worked in a restaurant. Also, I’m mentally 12.

            • avatar Furious George

              Shrug Bitch, you are WONDERFUL. Also, I used to do it in random spots at the store I worked in, and then enjoy the customers giving each other side-eye trying to figure out who stanked. Mua ha ha haaaaa, no one expects the shop assistant!!

            • avatar DirtyLakeMichigan

              I now have a crush on you Shrug Bitch.

          • avatar bossyboots

            I cannot stand it when people talk about food choices in terms of “being good” or “being bad”. What an unhealthy way to frame your relationship with food. Yes, there are good and bad food choices, but I think referring to the choice as an act of BEING good or bad is problematic. You aren’t a bad girl for eating a pack of Zingers, nor are you a good girl for eating a pile of carrots. Food choices shouldn’t constitute who you are.

        • avatar vr

          wtf? Pret sandwiches aren’t big at all anyway

        • avatar SnarkyPuss

          Ugh I deal with the same shit at my job. Look dude having a penis is not a necessity to eat a full goddamn sandwich.

          • avatar JFA

            This times a bazillion. I recently sat near a very gay, very eating disordered young man who would SEETHE at me for having hte gall to eat a bagel many days. What he did was, he starved himself all day, looked at menus approximately 4 hours before dinner, and basically rewarded himself by gorging on super rich fatty foods instead of just, eating what he wanted more or less, and chilling the fuck out. Anyway, I was always getting side eye from coworkers for eating a lot because I’m a fairly small petite girl. Like fuck you, I’M HUNGRY. Next.

        • avatar KERFETUS

          I’d have died laughing at that because it’s such a fucking absurd fat-shaming thing to say. MANwich? Where in the world does that kind of thought process even come from, bro-dudes?

          Also, my MAN can’t eat half a sandwich from our fave place, while I can slamnom the whole thing. He’s a foot taller than me. Word to eating til you get full. Duh.

          • avatar here's the thing

            the office and lunch is just the worst. at this point, i’m eating carbs just to spite all these anorexic females i work with. i don’t give a fuck.

  5. avatar jpa

    Wow, who wants to be there was no second date?

    I actually pity her. She seems to just have no clue and is horribly insecure and you’d hope by this time in her life she’d start to feel a bit more comfortable in her skin but sadly doesn’t seem so.

  6. avatar juliajane

    “Feel fat? Eat less, and move more.”

    I wish wish wish it were that simple. I mean it is that simple, but the reasons people overeat are complicated and I find it difficult to “eat less and move more.”

    • Exactly! We all KNOW that we should burn more calories to make up for consuming more calories…but it just isn’t that easy. I’m lazy. I hate exercise. And I love eating. LOL I find myself only beginning to exercise when I get so fat that nothing fits.

      • avatar Purple Prose

        Add to that, some people aren’t fat because they eat too much. I wish I could be thin, but I sit still for 13 hours a day (Yay corporate america!) and an hour or two in the gym will not make up for that.

        • Not to mention all of the people that are genetically predispositioned to be bigger, and those with health issues that cause them to be overweight. A person’s weight is not just black and white!

      • avatar herpderpsnarf

        HI ARE YOU ME

    • avatar maibukkit

      If it were that simple, everyone who wants to lose weight would. There is no such thing as set points, after-effects from constant dieting, hormones, nutrition, genetic influence, the role of sleep… look, if we haven’t figured out how to make skinny people fat on 10,000+ calories a day, we don’t know all there is to know about weight loss. Anyone who thinks “eat less, move more” is sufficient advice has never lost more than a few real pounds (the rest being constant water shifting).

    • avatar ohplease

      Plus people of all sizes “feel fat” at times, and it may or may not have anything to do with how much you are eating or moving.

  7. avatar Bravo's Bitch

    That pic?? Holy Valley of the Dolls done wrong. I have to get up at 5:00 in the morning and sparkle Neely, sparkle.

  8. avatar Office Worker

    I love food (and I love sweating, I know), but it makes me sad when women are asked what they eat. Just eat, guys. Dudes do not feel guilty about cupcakes and shit, ok? We can be like dudes, too.

    • avatar tamarin

      This makes me sad, too. It also makes me sad that her good day probably has as many calories as my good dinner.

      • avatar Random Person

        Her good day is what, maybe a thousand calories max.

    • avatar nom nom nom

      I think what makes me sad are women who exercise purely to burn calories. If they can do it in a healthy manner (i.e. eating enough and not overexercising), okay fine but it just seems so unpleasant. In college I’d hit the cardio machines at the gym and then go home and try to calculate how many calories I’d burned. There was no pleasure, it was just a chore that I felt I had to do. My healthiest relationship with food and exercise is when I’m training for half marathons. I eat what I want to eat and what I feel will maximize my running. Sometimes this includes cheeseburgers. I don’t count calories. The pleasure comes from a good run or noticing how I’m getting faster or setting a new PR.

      • avatar Office Worker

        Yeah, I know what you mean. I was trying to lose some weight because I was starting to get that ~secretary spread~ but it was so much math that it made it unfun to eat. I also did not lose a single pound, it sucked and I was miserable. Not to get all ~HLB~ on you, but I exercise because I want to and it helps me ~relieve stress~.

    • avatar JFA

      THANK. YOU.

      Seriously. Applause. Eat the goddamn cookie, live a little. Holy fucking Christ people.

    • avatar MeggerstheCruel

      Seriously. Imagine your average “dude” saying to a friend or co-worker, “Man, I just ate a whole cupcake and I already feel my ass expanding!” Ludicrous in that context? Ludicrous in every context.

      • avatar Office Worker

        My ~work crush~ eats like, 2 slices of pizza and a bag of chips for lunch. One day, someone was like EATING LIGHT? HAR HAR HAR, and my ~work crush~ was like, “Yeah, gotta keep up my fighting weight” and then he moved on. In my experience in eating with dudes (feel free to correct me, GOMI_dudes), they do not give a care. If someone said to me EATING LIGHT? HAR HAR HAR as I was enjoying 2 slices of pizza, I would probably get a complex and never eat with these dudes again.
        In short, let’s all just eat what we want. Want a salad? Go for it! Want a sandwich! Eat that sandwich! Food is food, ~health at any size~, stop judging me.

  9. avatar MissMolly

    um…i think her post makes sense…
    She did give example of a good day and a bad day…im sure that there are plenty of in between days too ;)

    But when I over indulge, I run a little faster and watch alot more closely for the next couple days to be sure I dont fall into a pit of over eating/ loss of focus.

    Theres nothing wrong with a binge every now and again…and by binge, i mean eating “bad” food…like a fast food meal, or having a few drinks more than you should perhaps…

    Her post makes sense…to me, and my life…i get why it might not to everyone though.

    • avatar ba

      Yeah kind of feeling it too. I get what she’s saying… I have good days of eating and bad days of eating, and everything in between. We all know what we’re supposed to do, and when I over indulge on pizza or cupcakes at work, I hit it a little harder in my workout because I know how many calories I need to burn based on what I’m eating, and I’ll make a good effort to get it in. I know what works for me and what I should and shouldn’t do. Maintaining weight is time consuming and takes commitment. For me, at least, it’s easy to excuse poor diet choices and fall into a habit where not only am I overeating, but I’m not eating things that are good for me either, and giving myself a pass on workouts. BUT–that’s what works for me. It’s important to not get emotions mixed up in the equation–feeling “guilty” or “punishing” yourself on workouts. Tomorrow’s a new day, and everything will be fine, no matter how many fried chicken legs you dip in your milkshake.

      Since I compete, I need to make sure everything I eat (and eating enough of it) will help me perform my best. I think her calories might be a little bit light, but then again, I am not sure what works for her or how tall she is, but if she’s shooting for maximum performance in her workouts or competing in marathons, she needs to up that calorie intake to reach her potential. While she is very slim, she’s not very toned. Perhaps more ham.

      Oh well. Studies have shown we’re all going to die anyway, no matter how hard we run or how many salads we eat. No one’s made it out alive yet.

      • avatar NotaFan

        Exactly. Cary needs to tattoo your last two sentences on her palms. Even then, I’m not sure the message would sink in (please excuse the bad pun).

  10. avatar Samson

    Wow, she likes to eat. That’s fascinating. I also enjoy breathing and autonomic nervous system functions.

  11. avatar Franishh

    Why is that girl running around in public in her nightgown, complete with bedhead? That’s unfortunate. How gauche.

  12. avatar "Pilot" is the new "keynote"

    It’s called exercise bulimia and it is an eating disorder. Look it up, Cary.

    • avatar Snow White

      That’s not necessarily true. There is more to any eating disorder than simply exercising more to be able to eat what you want (or other bad behaviors). Internet armchair diagnoses are not such a great thing.

      • avatar "Pilot" is the new "keynote"

        Yeah, she specifically says to eat a lot and then “kill yourself in the gym.” If you have half a clue about exercise bulimia, you’ll get why I made the comment.

        • avatar Snow White

          Of course I know half of anything about exercise bulimia. More importantly, I know that there are too many factors in any mental disorder for anyone to make these stupid offhand diagnoses over the internet based on a few words like “killing (oneself) at the gym.”

          • avatar "Pilot" is the new "keynote"

            You read words in my comment that weren’t even there. I didn’t diagnose HER, but I did call out the “eat without regard for health and then kill yourself in the gym” recommendation as consistent with exercise bulimia. So kindly step the fuck off.

      • avatar AQNR

        This is classic exercise bulimia. If you’re feeling out of shape, you ramp up your exercise program gradually and safely. “Kill yourself” at the gym on days when you’ve eaten more than your target intake is illogical eating-disordered behavior; you’re punishing yourself, not burning off the calories that are still in your stomach, because that’s not how the human metabolism works.

        When I was in treatment for my eating disorder, I saw so many girls caught in the spiral of trying to “exercise off” whatever they were made to eat right away. It’s sad.

        • avatar NotaFan

          Okay, real question, because I am wholly ignorant of these things. I always thought that Cary’s approach was accurate. Not that I would endorse it, because “punishing” yourself for eating some candy is tragic. But how does the whole metabolism thing work, if not in that way? I know I could google it, but you ladies seem knowledgeable.

      • avatar JFA

        If she is saying she eats a fucking handful of candy on a “bad day” she CLEARLY HAS major food issues. Wake the fuck up.

        • avatar Delores

          No shit. A handful of M&M’s should be a good day. Snarfing 3 or 4 king size butterfinger / payday bars in a day is a bad day.

        • avatar Snow White

          Even if she considers things to be a “bad day” when you don’t – and even if those are unrealistic, or abnormal, or she DOES have “food issues” – no reputable person in mental health makes diagnoses from Tumblr posts, and no average person (even an eating disordered one, or a person who knows a lot about them) should be throwing these mental health conditions around so lightly IMO.

          • avatar "Pilot" is the new "keynote"

            Again, nobody “diagnosed” her, so calm the fuck down. The method she presents as sound advice is consistent with exercise bulimia.

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