There’s been a whole lot of WTF floating around the Internet these days. I couldn’t possibly pick just one so I’m going to cover them all, because I’m drunk with power and Alice has created a monster.
First, I have an announcement: Kath Younger is the first woman to ever be pregnant, and she is inviting you along on her wondrous, frightening, and totally unique journey through her new baby blog–I couldn’t make this up if I tried–BERF. Never one to back down from a challenge, KERF sets the bar pretty high for herself:
Over the next few weeks I’m going to be publishing everything that has happened – from going off birth control to conception (woo hoo!) through the current week.
Conception? I’m sure anyone out of elementary school knows how babies are made, so we don’t need to go over it again. And more importantly, I fail to see why she had to make a new blog just to talk about her kid. It’s great that she’s excited about her new loaf and all, but why can’t she just mention pregnancy stuff in the blog she already has? Will KERF really suffer if Kath posts one less picture of oatmeal that looks like something a six-year-old child vomited at their birthday party? I’ll never be pregnant so I guess I’ll never understand.
Elsewhere on the internets, Paul Carr has clearly gone to the Adam and Jessica Quirk School of Reader and Customer Interaction:
This in response to a rambling hagiography over at PandoDaily about how writer Jason Kincaid has left TechCrunch. Do you know nothing about Kincaid? Great! Neither do I! And Carr’s post–which was supposed to be a tribute–didn’t mention anything Kincaid wrote, didn’t talk about why he was so special, and ended with a weird story that involved Dave Grohl. Frankly I don’t understand the complaining. AOL bought TC, and when one company buys another company, obviously the acquired firm is going to change. However, Sarahcuda and her PandoBuddies have been bemoaning the whole affair as if it’s the biggest tragedy ever to befall the Earth.
And last but not least, we have Jessica Quirk:
Why do people keep asking her to speak? What is she even going to talk about? How to Lose Sponsors and Alienate Readers in Just 10 Days? The Scalability of C/O Merchandise? Also, I know Messica hasn’t actually made an effort on her blog in years, but still what even is this?
It’s practically the exact same outfit, only the “now” one has a jacket. You’ve really showed us a new way to wear a red skirt Messica–pair it with black and white. I have no idea why you’re not BFFs with André Leon Talley and Anna Wintour by now. If Daphne Guinness saw this she’d probably cry into her coffee made with unicorn tears and virgin blood (I have no idea what rich people drink).
So I’ve given you the material; have at it in the comments folks. Or just talk about your lives. I plan on playing “find the cat toy” with my 800 cats and my fat folds. And how will you all spend your weekend?
what the hell is going on in this picture?
i mean, with what appears to be the oddly-placed boob sweat.
OMG. I guess she’s just priming us for when she’s leaking breastmilk all over the place. “Oh, that’s not breastmilk, remember? I’m a disgusting boob sweater!” And apparently after all these years of blogging, she hasn’t figured out to either hand the camera to a short person or make Matth get on his knees. You think he’d be used to that.
good lord, her knockers!
I sort of feel for her….I had boobs like that but I got a reduction because they were just out of hand (I’m about KERF-height and size too)
I was freaked out by her boobs(Im a busty gal myself and was like,…whoa.) but then I realised that the womans arm around her was casting an extra boob shadow.
Now Im mostly concerned about her skull size compared to the rest of her body.
I am also with kitten (or with loaf) and my boobs have gotten… ahem… quite large. Alarmingly so. So I feel for her (at least re: this). But they go back to normal size eventually, right?
RIGHT?!?!?
If by normal size you mean normal size in a bra but hanging down to your knees without, then yes. Sigh.
Bikusalt – oy vey. Thanks for being honest with me, though.
Anon, that doesn’t happen to everyone. Just be prepared that it might.
Well, for me it’s was different. After all was done and dusted in the my-mum-is-a-milking-cow phase of Baby Limey’s life, my boobs refused to go down to their ‘before’ size. From one side, they never got droppy but my bust went from a respectable 32D to a gigantic 32GG couple that with my 156cm height and small shape, I look pretty weird.
If I did have the time I’d chop them off but with a young child and a job that it’s taking off, I simply can’t afford the time off to recover. Enell Sports bras are the best minimisers, especially at work.
No joke, I set aside part of my meager paycheck every month for the breast reduction that I’m going to sorely need (ha ha, pun) once I’ve birthed a kitten or two. I’m busty already, and my mother got so big after two kids (in spite of her otherwise small frame) that she had back problems and was too self-conscious to wear clothes that weren’t more or less nun habits.
Being active is very important to me (but not in the obnoxious KERF sense, promise), so it looks like a reverse boob job will be inevitable. Can’t wait for my 34Bs in a decade, being a DD is annoying as fuck.
Sad Rat in sidewalk, my close friend did them and the scars are pretty lame and fairly obvious (naked)but she had grown to a massive 34I/J size, so I understand. On the plus side now, she gets to wear all those pretty itsy bitsy undies now while I’m stuck with parachutes.
okay, not EVERYONE’s boobs stay huge and require reductions. Pre-preg, I started out a B cup, during pregnancy and nursing, went up to a C, and after I finished nursing, they shrunk down to less than an A cup. Like, completely flat. :(
i hate when she wears those stupid shoes with BLACK socks. just buy cute tennis shoes!
If you work for/own a shoe company, I’m sure she’d be happy to “review” a free pair.
how do you review that?
“It fits, you guys!”
OT, but wow, Eden! I just poked around your site and I loove it. I am also going to name my someday babby Eden, also, too.
I was on your site today too. You are very funny (what drove me there – your response you are only 1/4 as pretty as your photo). Funny stuff!
I voted for your brownies and recommended that those in my set do so as well. Best of luck.
darn. i guess it’s ugly shoes forever then.
Well, she’s already received a free pair of ugg boots from her blog (http://www.katheats.com/lets-talk-about-feet-baby), so I’m pretty sure lightening could strike twice.
Also, I used the word “review” to mean “happily get sent free shit.” Kind of like how bloggers use the word “job” to describe eating oatmeal, whoring for the camera, and going to the gym.
Excuse me while I go perform “brain surgery.” (Which actually means “eat frosting and pet my cats.”)
wifebot: I just laughed. Hard.
I hear you so hard on the cute shoes thing. Have they never heard of Chucks? I know HL bloggers should not be expected to be the most fashionable in the world but they are obviously going for an aspirational brand. I do not aspire to wear running shoes with boot cut jeans. I know they want to keep up their sporty images, but would a pair of ballet flats kill them every once in a while? I will even give you a pass on the “athletic” ones with the sport-type soles. As long as they are not big honking white sneakers! She looks like she is going to spend the day walking around Six Flags.
:( Haha. I also don’t own really any “cute” shoes. I wear old running shoes pretty much exclusively. They cost freaking $80+ and I wear them out for running purposes in 2 months. F that, I’m getting my money’s worth!
I have like two pairs of black sandals for when I actually must wear dressier shoes. Both are at least 7 years old. It’s too much a hassle to find cute vegan shoes I can justify spending money on. I’d rather buy books or food or … anything else.
‘Course, I live in threadless shirts and bootcut jeans pretty much 7 days a week. I fail at fashion. ;) I do keep meaning to buy a pair of canvas ballet flats for summer. Sneaks just look terrible with capris (not that that stops me.. see above re: fail).
Awww, I didn’t mean to be all hatery on the running shoe in general. I fail at fashion a lot, too. I am a WAH mom and I wear freaking YOGA PANTS outside the house. A lot. And in 30 years on the planet, I have still not figured out how to wear more than 1 accessory or to make my curly hair behave. But I am also not trying to sell the idea that my lifestyle is something to aspire to, so I feel OK with my slobbishness. When I see KERF wearing a baggy t-shirt or Caitlin in one of her weird Mormony getups (sundress plus long sleeved tee?), it’s jarring to me. Like if Martha Stewart came out to show me how to wrap Gerbera daisies in twine wearing Uggs and a shirt from her last 10K. You have to SELL IT, ladies. Or I don’t want to buy it!
lol. There are a lot of vegan shoe resources out there now, but I do understand that shoes are not always a priority in life :)
I still lol that we have the same user name except you are capital M. It worries me that you and I will be melded as one person rather than two separate entities (imagine that one!)
Kath disgusts me to be quite honest.
Jam, your avatar is das bombe.
I plan on getting pregnant this weekend and begin my new mommy blog. I just need to find a sperm donor.
Serge Bialenko needs gainful employment and apparently (unfortunately) he’s fertile as hell…
meh, the name “Serge” just reminds me of that soda from 90′s and it tasted like shit. Plus, I just saw a child throw a temper tantrum over an iPad so I think my uterus is scared.
I wonder if he was named after Serge Gainsbourg? I love Serge Gainsbourg.
I put Je t’aime mon non plus on a mixed tape for my now husband back in the day when we still used cassettes.
Have you seen the Serge Gainsbourg/Whitney Houston recording from, I think, Canal+? It’s so awful, but so funny. I love him too; he was a genius.
^ is that the legendary one where he said he wanted o fuck her and the host translated it as he wanted to give her flowers, instead? I love that, despite its awfulness – now Serge was an expert troll.
Yes! So classic! I think the host translates it as “he thinks you are beautiful” and suddenly in English Serge goes “non I want to fuck her.” poor Whitney, bet she had no clue that he was a national treasure!
Have you ever heard Mick Harvey’s album of Gainsbourg covers? I love it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VYctB9SdaY
Serge is the best troll ever. “Lemon Incest” sung with his daughter proves it.
^ Charlotte Gainsbourg is pure class and I love her so much.
this comment made me check out your blergh, you are brilliant! and cancer IS my astrological sign, haha. my best to your father.
so very fat, i swear i am not Disturbed (most would attest) … that was @Eden
thank you, but don’t say anything good about me here because I fear one day I’ll be a GOMI feature and everyone will laugh at my horrible grammar and lack of editing. ;)
@Miss Noir
In re: Mickey I will check this out. Thank you.
Totally true about Lemon Incest. Also, despite the fact SG seems to have been a classic cad, Jane Birkin adores him still.
crx: Mick Harvey
I checked out that Monica Bialenko blog earlier… what a mess. Basically a less successful version of dooce. White trash spewing her mental issues all over the place where her kids will see it some day.
Does serge have a blog? I’d love to see what kind of guy makes a kid with Monica Bialenko.
Yeah, Serge has a companion blog to Monika. I won’t link it here because I don’t want them coming over here, but you can find it if you go to Monika’s blog. That’s part of their “thing”..
What are your thoughts on Afghanis?
A+ for the mention of Mick Harvey’s covers of Serge Gainsboroug. Love it!
Sadly, Serge Bielanko had his own blog called thunderpie. Monica merged the two blogs (in order to get more hits for her site). Everything he writes for Babble goes under who blog thegirlwho…because they make more money if you click to Babble thru her website. While he is a better writer than her, Monica has worked very hard to get him to be a writer.Being on her blog and Babble is like being a rooster in a hen house. Unfortunately, there are only so many “my daughter blew past me like a dandelion lookin to exit the clover field”. It reads like John Prine had a kid and was forced to write a column for Parents magazine.
It is all rather emasculating. He has merged into her blogging persona which is a completely female audience with it’s Cathy the cartoon appeal:
I would have sex but then I would have to take the nachos off my lap :( kind of bullshit.
His last job was some kind of house painting thing. He seems pretty henpecked and it must be pretty hard to be married to someone who needs such constant attention and has some obvious borderline personality issues. You would think after the Dooce debacle some people would learn.
ACK!
;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbCT5fXdhhc
if you are at least 1/3 as attractive irl as your blog pic, i can help you :)
sadly, I’m only 1/4.
that’s good enough for me. i tried taking dooce’s advise and went and fucked myself. it was okay but just isn’t the same as the real deal.
know what i mean?
I can’t be the only doesn’t like oatmeal because I think it looks like jizz.
I absolutely hate oatmeal. Any hot cereal for that matter.
I blame my childhood. I can’t tell you how many bowls of cream of wheat (talk about something looking like jizz in a bowl) my parents tried to force me to eat.
I always think of poor Ramona Quimby when I see someone gushing about oatmeal…
I thought I was the only one who had this picture in my head every time someone mentions oatmeal!
Yeah, we ate a LOT of hot cereal growing up…it has taken YEARS for me to be able to look at oatmeal without gagging. I was fine until I found GOMI and then KERF. Oatmeal doesn’t have to look like a compost bucket.
YES!!!!!!11!!! If we had sig lines here, I’d have Oatmeal doesn’t have to look like a compost bucket as mine.
As a child-hater, I’m more than okay with bloggers starting secondary blogs for baby crap. I’ve unsubscribed from oodles of blogs that went baby crazy when the blogger got pregnant. Same with weddings. I just don’t give a fuck about your child/marriage.
Oh dear God, the wedding blogs. You want to post a few times about the wedding prep, fine. But there’s this thing called “moderation” for Christ’s sake.
I’m not a child-hater, but I share your sentiments. I hate when blogs I enjoy turn into wedding/baby blogs. Unsubscribe.
A-fucking-men! x 1 billion
I pray I never become that blogger. I’ve also unsubscribed from quite a few and my BF can’t understand why I’m shouting, “B*TCH, I DON’T CARE IF YOUR KID SPIT UP TODAY. I JUST WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU’RE WEARING.”
Nevermind. I found in another post. Sorry, guys.
Not a child-hater, but no kids, and also ok with there being a separate blog. Except she keeps reminding you multiple times in the regular posts that she can’t drink beer, wah- she can’t have wine, she is only having 10% caffeinated coffee, her back hurts, etc.
Frankly I think she’s brilliant for starting a second blog for the kid.
i have no idea who the other people are that you wrote about. Clearly I’m not fat or stupid enough.
the first post on BERF is pure gold. She literally admits that Math didn’t want a baby yet/ever, but then she reminded him that he was getting old (apparently “old” = 28), and he was like “ughhh FIIIIIIIINE” and voila, BERF.
yeah, the kind of awkward smile in the baby announcement pics just screams happiness and joy, doesn’t it?
And how old is her husband? Twelve?
HA! you people are hilarious…glad I found your site and FB!
It’s the look of “Fuck, I am stuck”
That is fucking SAD.
Guys, she’s going to tell us about she didn’t just go with the flow, but was sure to take her temperatures and plan her ovulation sexytimes! I wasn’t interested in the BERF blog until now – I thought it’d just be more of the oatmeal, bodypump, beerseltzer recylcing that was KERF. This is most excellent.
i totally thought he was rail-road-ed with this. i felt like this was extremely one-sided. kath wants baby, kath has baby. who cares what matt wants. maybe he wasn’t ready. old? 28? seriously? wtf. what a tard.
“I’d found a nice groove between my various jobs. I checked in with Matt, and while he wasn’t like “YEAH! Let’s have a baby!” he agreed the timing seemed right given that we weren’t getting any younger.”
LOL. Wow. He really is a doormat, holy shit.
Well, Matt really wasn’t “getting any Younger”…. ZING!
Bad joke? I’m sorry. I’ll go eat a stick of butter and talk to my cat.
Not bad!
My personal favorite KERF joke is when people refer to Matt as Matthew Younger.
one of my cats steals a stick of butter from the kitchen almost every night. cheers for the electric company theme in my head :)
Checked in? As in “I have this whole thing planned, better double check with hubby that he even gives a fuck about it. No? He doesn’t? Ok, let’s do this!”
Yeah! Like “hey babe I’m going for a run, when I get back I need you to help me mow the lawns and then we’re going to make a baby, ok?”
I just don’t get why she would tell the story making him seem wholly unexcited the whole time. At least make up some good shit!
i agree. WHY would you post something like that on the internet?
right?! Maybe this IS her making it sound happy? I dont know why she would want to portray him as so…indifferent. and why would she want to be in that situation anyway? the baby is THEIR’s, no? she’s acting like it magically appeared in her stomach and it’s hers for the taking….!
Seriously, Matt seemed more excited about picking out overhead lights for the dining room. This sounds like she asked him what he wanted for lunch. “Hey how about a baby?” “Do not care, wife, whatever you want.” I’m sure the men who beg their wives to have babies are in a minority, but most men don’t sound so “yeah whatever” about either. What a weird couple.
I agree. My catman never begged me to try to get preggo, but he dropped so many hints about wanting a baby- the most memorable one being the time we went to walmart and we ‘had’ to go to the baby clothes section (ostensibly, to find something for the neice) and we were perusing the adorable little newborn stuff (neice was 2)…. LOL
Oh. Fuck.
As a childfree (sterilized) person, reading that hubs didn’t want a kid yet/ever makes me seriously cringe. That way lies madness…
Dude should have gotten the big V and pretended to be sterile. Normally, I’m not big on lying about stuff like that but being bullied into kids is just so Not Cool.
Her kids going to love reading that in 10 years.
Also 28 being old makes me want to Witches of Eastwick her except with oatmeal instead of cherries.
Part of me thinks she was a sneaky bitch about the whole thing! Like “oh honey, I’m off birth control” in passing…some brief conversations later (while secretly trying to get pregnant) telling him he has 9 months to adjust and then BAM, pregnant. I told my hubby about this (we’re non-child wanters, as well) and he said “if you told me you went off birth control, I wouldn’t go near you!” matt’s face isn’t one of “oh man, I’m actually going to be a father” it’s more of “OH FUCK ME HARD IN THE FACE”
AND, sorry to keep rambling here…why does her barf-berf baby site say “about kath”–doesn’t it take two to tango?! It’s a blog of the baby she and MATT are having…it should be “about kath and matt”
You are assuming Matt really had more than 4 seconds to do with this.
oh, my bad ;)
We’re one-child wanters and about the same age as these “rapidly aging” “not getting any younger” shitheads. And we have never once considered trying to have the kid now because of age considerations. Mostly because we both really want to be ready for it and give the kid the best experiences and attention that we can.
The biggest problem with KERF having a kid is going to be that she’s always been all about herself. This will not change during pregnancy; if anything it will intensify. Being a parent is hard work with lots of trial/error and setbacks and I think she’ll suck at it.
I think she called 28 the right time because they want to have more than one. If you have one, nurse for a year, that’s about 2 years. If she wants to have more than 1 before 35 it’s not a bad estimate to get going at 28 because some couples unfortunately take a long time to conceive. It’s entirely normal for a fully fertile couple to take up to a year to conceive.
And there are very good reasons to have your pregnancy time done before 35 that have to do with biology, not life choices. If I only wanted one I’d be comfortable waiting well into the 30s.
Some of us are lucky enough to be able to see a pregnancy to term, and in that group are women who know that they carry genetic anomalies that start to show up more often in children of mothers who give birth after age 35. I decided as a very young woman that it would be responsible and less selfish to allow myself a window (ages 28-33) to have children. If I didn’t have children by then, having kids wouldn’t be for me. It was a decision I discussed with my husband before we were married. I knew that this wouldn’t guarantee some perfect child – I was just trying to make sure that I wasn’t being a selfish bitch by knowingly placing a burden on an unborn child that I had every means to prevent.
I’m sorry Amy but are you really asserting that any woman who gives birth after 35 is a “selfish bitch?” Wow.
I *think* I understand what she means about the after 35 thing and anamolies. The risks are greater for certain things to happen due to age and I took it as having to be responsible and provide for that child, with the anamoly, possibly for life. If you’re older as a parent it causes worries and all.
That said, I was a first time mom at 37 and a second and third time mom at 40 and the anamoly my child was born with has nothing to do w/ parental age. So I hope I’m not considered a selfish bitch. A fat and sorrry one, ok. Oh fat, sorry, has cats, and drinks wine.
@amy – Yes, the risks of problems go up, as a woman gets older. Just because one doesn’t have a baby before 35, doesn’t make them selfish.
I hope you didn’t intend to come across, in the manner you did. If so, you really are a selfish bitch.
@thefinalrose and @MarySunshine – “…in that group are women who KNOW THAT THEY CARRY GENETIC ANOMALIES that start to show up more often in children of mothers who give birth after age 35.”
The genetic time-bomb has shown up in several generations of MY family (the mothers were just over 40), is carried through the maternal blood line, and I am at risk. Do you have such an anomaly?
Knowing how my aunt suffered nearly every day of her short life would make me selfish for waiting if I wanted to have children. My point was that because someone has a child before thirty doesn’t mean that her reasons aren’t very well and thoroughly thought out.
As I stated – knowing my risks, “I” would be a bitch for waiting. You can think that I’m a bitch anyway – but you REALLY misrepresented what I wrote.
@DirtyLakeMichigan – It makes me feel bad that my point wasn’t more clear to you.
The decision that I made was based on my own personal risk to an unborn child. I was informed that having my kids younger meant the risk of the particular gene showing up was nearly zero, but if I waited the chances would rise exponentially until they reached 100%.
My point was that parents under 30 may have very good reasons for starting their family early. Just like people over 40 have their own very good reasons for waiting. I would be selfish for having a kid after 35, but I know women who would be right to say that they would be selfish to have a kid before 35.
My response was to someone saying that age is not a factor for them. Unfortunately, sometimes age has to be a factor for others.
I understand where you’re coming from, Amy.
When I got married in my 20′s, I immediately began trying to get pregnant (knowing full well it was a long-shot due to Endometriosis & other fertility issues).
I made up my mind in advance that if I wasn’t pregnant by 30, that I’d accept that it wasn’t meant to be, since I wanted to be a ‘young’ mom (having been the youngest of older parents & missing out on grandparents, etc.)
Different reasons, but I understand what you mean RE: picking a time-frame to ‘let go’ of Plan A & settle for Plan B, because there comes the point for some of us when it’s less & less a good situation for the kid you may or may not have, & being in ‘may or may not’ limbo can be a hell all its own.
If I had genetic anomalies in my family, I’d probably avoid having kids altogether and just adopt. And, as it is, that’s our plan if we end up wanting more than 1 kid, to adopt one when we’re set.
As far as waiting to 35 or even late 30s, I’d much rather wait to have my life in order so that I can be a great parent. Both my catlady and I had less-than-deal childhoods (her dad peaced out, my parents were abusive yet had 4 kids) so it’s always been important to us not to have kids before we’re really ready. And there are the issues of resources (not just money but also time) and legitimate interest in children–you can’t force these things. Yet, I doubt KERF has really considered them because she seems like a genuinely stupid person.
One reason babies born to older women tend to have more incidents of development problems and birth abnormalities is that older women tend to get impregnated by crotchety old-man spermatozoa.
Voila, BERF! You rang?
Kath is just the worst. I comment on her blog every day because of the traffic it brings my site and it makes me feel like a 5 dollar crack whore. Do you guys degrade yourselves in this way, too? Sometimes I think I should just shoot myself instead.
You realize that there are other ways to acquire traffic. Comments are handy when you’re a beginner, but there are better methods.
Also, commenting for traffic is douchey.
dooce-y?
really? there are far better ways to get traffic that won’t make you want to shoot yourself. What sort of comments do you leave?
“nice salad!”
“Happy monday!”
YAY OATMEAL!
hahaha. “can’t wait to make that spo0meal!”
this had better bloody post in the right place
Please don’t tell me you are FaithfulSolutions who feels compelled to leave the link to her blog in the comment box EVERY SINGLE TIME instead of linking from her name like every other 5 dollar crack whore commenting “I love that spoon!”
I thought I was the only one that noticed her. Her comments are the lamest too. And that’s saying a lot for KERF commenters. It’s always “I ate a bowl of oatmeal once too” or “Yum I love salad”.
HELL NO!! I take fabulous pictures (self-taught…it’s not that hard), get accepted to Foodgawker and Tastespotting and bring in enough each month to pay for running shoes, hosting fees, and a little extra for cat food. During the heavy holiday months, my Frankie ate like a king and I sported new running AND new crossfit shoes. And I didn’t have to comment on people I would rather see thrown in a mud puddle.
Ew, Katrina, I clicked through and you have a picture of a bowl of cereal and the infamous initial mug from Anthropologie. I don’t care if the mugs are cute. I don’t care that I actually want to get them for my family because they’d look adorable in my black and white kitchen … your header gave me a terrible PKTSD attack (Post-KERF Traumatic Stress Disorder). I called dooce’s therapist, and he or she advised me to to adopt another cat, then eat an entire sheet cake.
And now I have a question for you: how many miles do I have to run to burn off the sheet cake, and should I carry the cat in a Baby Bjorn to burn off more calories?
If it helps, I’m 5′ 1″ and weigh 262.6 pounds.
I had the cup long before the kerf and I refuse to apologize for using it before her. I was running long before it was “cool” and I have no clue what a baby bjorn thing is since I have no baby, and according my diabetic pancreas, wont’ be able to have one. . I did adopt my cat Frankie in 2007 and he’s too fat to be carried around for long. I hope you enjoy your sheet cake as much as I enjoy my cupcakes. So sorry, so fat, and because I don’t want to die from diabetic coma, still going to run.
I’m pretty sure that people were running before “cool” was a thing.
@writeitpretty, According to Kerf, water and air are vital to our lives. How did I ever make it this far without her?? I bet that tower in Pisa is leaning because she wasn’t there to measure it right.
no. I am on her blogroll.
I think the bitch is stuffing her bra with rolls or toast points with nut butter or maybe past(r)ies. One of these days those puppies could get to banging and beat her puny little baby head to a bloody pulp!! DANGER DANGER!
I looked up BERF on urban dictionary #5 fits the ticket
5 berf
when you burp and a little bit of barf comes up
“dude I just burped and puked a little in my mouth, it’s all I can taste”
aka “I just berfed”
This woman has the personality of a potato. How is this a blog?
At least it matches her face.
ROFL, so true
a potato hahahaha
I was thinking more along the lines of a celery stalk.
Celery has more substance and is less bland.
This is just about as exciting as reading about someone training for their first (and only) 6 hour marathon. Oh, and she’s on a diet to boot, so she posts food pictures all the time. And you wonder why you are stil fat training for a marathon…?
I love your site! Thanks!
OK, someone can tell me if this is out of line or not–I would never put Kath and her husband together as a couple based on looks. She’s dumpy, and I think he’s almost hot. Am I alone here? And is this overly mean?
And the most pressing question of all: Why do I care?
I used to think Matt was cute. Then I read some of his douche-tastic comments on her blog and changed my mind.
Kerftoe comes across as an asexual person. I can’t imagine her with man, woman or beast.
Yeah, Kath does come across as really asexual to me too. Like whenever she makes some sort of teehee sex! joke, it feels really awkward. Matt is definitely better looking than her, but he comes across as having the same winning personality as Kath.
A while back, I read some exchange between Matt and an actual, practicing Dietician. The actual dietician had commented on some inaccuracies in KERF’s blog. KERF, instead of saying “oops! sorry, I’ll correct my post” or something like that, she got all indignant and was like “Well, this is how I understood it from my class, so that’s how I’m going to blog about it”.
From there, there was a back-and-forth exchange where KERF and her fans were badgering the guy (the actual dietician) and telling him he was hateful or mean to correct her. I mean, it’s only a blog, etc etc etc. Finally, douchey Matt chimed in and was like “yeah, well who reads books or journals anyway? Kath was just sharing with her readers, don’t be a spoilsport” or somesuch.
It was sad. What I took away from it was a reinforced view that both of them are deeply anti-intelliectual hayseed types. And I know people will say I’m harping on this, but i think it’s super sad that they’re so content to be dumb and smug, because Matt’s dad and BOTH of KERF’s parents are well educated. They likely had a bunch of opportunities in life, but now they are all smug about being utterly boring, dumb mommyblogger/franchise bread store people. They suck.
Is this what you’re talking about? (starts at comment 76)
http://www.KathEats.com/a-running-metabolism
Yes, I think that was the one… if not, it was very similar. It was something I read a while ago.
I think all this asexual talk is part of why she’s going overboard with talk about her sex life on babykerf.
Too bad though, because I completely agree with you, and I’m still convinced she used a turkey baster.
Sorry, KERF, you will nevah, evah convince me you have sex! A wet cotton ball has more sex appeal than that girl.
And, I checked out her barf site, and that striped sweater over the long-sleeved shirt she was wearing in the pictures she took when she told Matt that the one time they cut a hole in the sheet and copulated was fruitful?
Yeah, why does she have NO FUCKING SENSE OF STYLE? None! Whatsoever! If I cross my eyes and squint, I can’t even see a smidgen of style or sexiness in that girl.
I was hoping y’all would comment on that outfit of Messica’s. In they “Why” section she wrote, “I mean, I’m not even close to even here!” WTF does that mean?? Why can’t she proof her what she writes? It drives me insane!!!!!!!!
she’s too busy doing super cute nail art to edit her posts.
Not only has she been doing her nails on a daily basis but I think she’s been sniffing the nail polish and the acetone as well.
I like this comment so much I wanna take it behind the bleachers and get it pregnant.
And then you can start a mummy blog about the baby! Could be called Ways 2 Be Chalming!
@Super Nintendo Chalmers and Furious George: He he he :D