It’s been a while since we posted a Rambinism:
Toning Up with Angles and Reps: Gluts Edition [...] Today, I’m talking about gluts because that has been the most notable change for me. [...] Here are three different exercises that target your gluts using angles and reps.
DID YOU HEAR THAT GUYS? MARY IS TARGETING HER GLUTS. HER GLUTS ARE GETTING TARGETED. NOT GLUTES. JUST THE GLUTS.
I love you, Mary! You tell those gluts who’s boss!
What the hell are ‘gluts’?
It’s like a gut, but even more superfluous, hence the extra letter.
i think its gnommy + slut. glut.
No gluts, no glory.
OMG, thank you much, I needed this today! It took me like a minute to figure out that she actually meant glutes. Over, and over again, GLUTS! Do you have the gluts to work out with Mary? I don’t.
I thought maybe “gluts” was a nickname for her giant feet?
Did MareMare BeachHair get a bob job?
I think the general consensus was yes.
Damn, they’re huge! Everything’s bigger in Texas, I suppose.
YES!!! WTF??? I’m sure they go well with her broad shoulders and no-ass.
“Tips on exercising while on a cleanse.”
Oh god, just STFU Mary. WHEN WILL THIS CLEANSE MADNESS END. It’s called “semi-acceptable anorexia.” I’ll get my health advice from my doctor, who knows things, thanks!
Yes! If you need to “reset” your system after a lot of junk and drinking, just drink a lot of water and eat sensibly. No need to starve yourself.
I haaaaate cleanses. Oh, I’m shitting out the toxins! Yeah dude, you are. Every day. IT IS CALLED SHITTING AND PEEING. THAT IS WHAT YOUR BODY DOES OR YOU DIE.
Pretty sure your body also “needs food” to function the best.
Seriously…anyone who “cleanses” might as well wear a sign “I am a tremendous moron.”
Yes. We all have this thing, it’s magical, and it’s called a liver.
Lord.
It’s one thing to do a one-day or even a two-day cleansing thing…I have done them in the past, generally to recover from finals week in which I stuffed myself full of crappy food and then feel awful. They can kind of zap you out of the habit really quickly (I have a terrible sweet tooth so sugar is a big issue for me). It’s the people that go on the 30-day cleanses and exercise the whole time that I find a little…well, crazy.
Sure. If I overdue it, I try to eat whole foods, cut out the sugar and drink lost of fluids. Her poor body has nothing left to get rid of!
She looks awfully skinny to me. I know some people are just built that way, and she has decent muscle tone and all, but…I don’t know. Her legs look uncomfortably thin. I have skinny little chicken legs myself, but those look…just…not right.
She IS too skinny. Because she works out 12 hours a week and barely eats anything and is obviously at least borderline anorexic. I would never want to look like that and the worst part is she touts herself as a fitness expert. Just shut up and get help.
Cleanses are such a fucking scam. Even mega-idiot Gwyneth Paltrow is now seeling a GOOP Cleanse for like $65.
What ever happened to eating properly to begin with so you don’t feel you have to terrorize your bowels for ten days straight with cayenne pepper and lemons I mean MY GOD.
Also, yeah, your body cleanses itself – it’s SELF-CLEANING UNIT. Stop tampering in its domain!
What a world.
Just drink some fruit and veggie smoothies, lots of water, and eat some lean protein for a couple of days. Boom. Cleansed.
Or vodka on an IV drip for at least 24 hours, whilst sucking on ice cubes. Boom. Cleansed AND disinfected.
I always feel so light and clean afterwards!
My cleanse is half a pack of cigarettes and two cups of coffee every morning, voila! Clean as a whistle!
They look rock hard and too big for her frame. Did she use a coupon?
Maybe she used a Groupon and split it.
I loled at this random act of bitchiness and judgment. http://maryrambin.tumblr.com/post/16070731744/omgoodness-wtf-think-if-sopa-got-rid-of-her It just felt so out of place on her blog. Good job on that brand, MareMare.
I have admittedly missed regular MareMare snark here. And I love to hate her when she lets her claws show. She’s still the same uppitty bitch she always was, yay!
She’s always been my favorite GOMI subject, but I also completely forget she exists until she gets mentioned here.
Wait–who is that? Is that MB? Chick is seriously ON something.
Duh, sorry so stupid size medium. Thanks!
Too ripe. So needed this today. Gluts and bobs @It’s Always Shitty in Donkadelphia. Bless you both. :)
And why is this skinny bitch “cleansing” again. These people need jobs.
She’s a spin class instructor, she has a job AND OMG SHE’S A JOURNALIST AND TRAVELS FOR FREEEEEEEEEE AND GETS TO REVIEW FREEEEEEEEEE THINGS.
Seriously, who pays for this lifestyle of hers? Did Daddy finally give her the trust fund? ‘Travel/Lifestyle Writers’ on her level make diddly-squat.
And how much can one make simply helping these Houston companies she finds and supposedly assists with creating tumblr/twitter accounts?
Sometimes I wonder if she’s secretly a barista on the side and doesn’t mention this job lest she come off any less rich and/or fabulous to her last few readers left. Or she’s a callgirl at Hotel ZaZa.
yeah, i agree. I don’t doubt a lot of these blawwwggggerrrs have side jobs and hide them
Because she has an eating disorder. And she’s a moron. Both of those.
There’s a glut of stupidity out there.
<3
Personally, I find it incredibly amusing that a Whole Foods/Buttprint Cleanse/colonic health nut has no qualms with injecting her face with chemicals and placing permanent artificial substances into her boobs.
I almost hope that she bags a rich Texan soon, so she can fade into internet obscurity.
She’s such a fake health nut. She merely starves herself + drinks a lot + is addicted to exercise. Not healthy.
But her python accessories are all real! Let’s celebrate with some vegan beer.
I think she faded into internet obscurity at least two years ago…
I like how Mary so obviously spits in the eye of things like proofreading her work and Spellchecker.
Browsing MareMare’s sight/cite/site she did a write-up on Brit’s new site:
http://morethanmary.com/2011/12/why-buy-when-you-could-diy-like-creative-brit/
Brit Morin‘s new blog, Creative Brit (at http://www.hellobrit.com), takes DIY to it’s cutest!
Mhmm.
“She’s as cute as she looks”
Wait, what?
If you block off her head, she looks exactly like a tranny with those new boobs. What is she doing to herself?
I have to second this. She looks like a skinny 18-year-old boy with boobs and no leg hair from the neck down. Neck up, she looks like a woman in her early forties in that picture.
Some pearls of wisdom from her blahg on how to exercise while on a juice cleanse:
“Limit all exercise to 1 hour.
Decrease weight and resistance in all activities.
Incorporate yoga. The breathing, stretching, and compression will help with the detox.
Nourish yourself before a workout with fresh coconut water (not from the carton) for the electrolytes.
Nourish yourself after the workout with half of the protein drink in your cleanse (usually cashew milk or a smoothie of some sort). Drink the rest at its designated time slot.
Schedule a mid-day cat nap if possible.
Plan to be in bed earlier than usual.”
First off, is fresh coconut milk readily available? Do you actually have to go out and buy a coconut just for some juice? Also, “schedule a mid-day cat nap?” Who has the time for naps in the middle of the day?
Coconut water*. So sorry, so fat.
If you’re working out for more than an hour at the gym you either have a serious problem, or you are an elite athlete.
I know, right? Who are these bitches with all this free time?
I usually do cardio for an hour (it’s a Leslie Sansone walking DVD, let’s be real) and I try to lift 3 times a week but it doesn’t always happen
/not an elite athlete, I probably eat back all those calories that I burned, ha
Doesn’t Already Pretty work out for 2.5 hours four times a week?
(http://www.alreadypretty.com/2011/08/body-image-at-the-gym.html)
Girlfriend is surely doing something wrong.
First off, is fresh coconut milk readily available? Do you actually have to go out and buy a coconut just for some juice?
It’s readily available ` this is what I use in Thai recipes: http://www.thelatinproducts.com/goya-coconut-milk-leche-de-coco-25-oz/?gclid=CIqs1Zb6560CFU6Mtgod_D9G5w
Yeah, lots of fancy gyms sell coconut water now. It’s A Thing. My gay sweetheart who is way too obsessed with working out is always getting the coconut water from his gym and blah blah blahing about the electrolytes or some shit. He does have amazing abs for someone who is almost 50 so perhaps he is onto something.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/08/really-the-claim-for-better-hydration-drink-coconut-water/
Looks like in its straight from the coconut form, it’s great at hydration, but the commercial varieties, not so much.
And really, how many people out there exercise so hard that they actually need electrolyte replacement and not just water?
I’ve heard it’s great for hangovers, though.