While 900 people were laid off at AOL today, our unemployed, bleeding heart volunteer Dumpling spent an hour in the middle of a Thursday afternoon watching her dog chase bubbles:
I would say that her husbcat might get bitter knowing he was out working all day while she blew bubbles at her dog at home, but I think it’s pretty clear to all by now that he’s a mere puppet in her Game of Perfect Lifedom.
P.S. Partypants said I should start referring to her dog as “Dogumpling,” so I’m going to.
I totally understand we can’t all sit around with the weight of the world, but she is constantly posting about how she does NOTHING. Every day. All day. “I twirled in my skirt in the park I felt like a ballerina! Then ate a 9 dollar scone! Then I smiled at a flower!” It’s like she has no concept of how real life works for most people. That there are people struggling to find work or eat or pay bills. Nope, they just need to SMILE more! Enjoy life!
I am really starting to dislike this oblivious moron.
The highlight of my week is this comment.
Dogumpling was the highlight of my week.
I lurrrve Dogumpling! Putting it on my baby name list.
Her dog is hideous.
I thought sweet little B was referring to one of the poor unloved, neglected urchins at the daycare she volunteers at but it’s her dog? Christ, that’s even worse.
Could be an urchin, but her dog’s name is Bella or Belle or something, so I’m assuming it’s the dog.
urchins are not for taking home! They have homes! Keep your paws off my urchin, Pippi Smugstocking!!
Um yeah. And hugging those urchins = highly illegal.
that’s kind of sad :( You really aren’t allowed to hug kids anymore? Ah well. Better safe than sorry.
Side hugs only! No full frontal touchy-touchy!
NICE CHRISTIAN HUG!
ASS IN AIR!
lulz @ “keep your paws off my urchin”
I wonder if people like this, who seem to go through life blissfully unaware of how shitty things actually are, ever get burned? Or does she know, and is just pretending life is perfect?
I’d love to just have one day when I don’t worry about the future, or the low amount in my bank account. I could just put everything on a cc, like I assume these people do, and not even consider how I might pay the bills later.
i thought you meant ‘carbon copy’. tgif.
What’s even funnier is how much these webtards talk about how they can’t wait for Friday! Or are soooo glad it’s almost the weekend! Bitch, every day is a lazy Sunday afternoon when you have time on a Thursday to eat a muffin, blow bubbles or play dress up with your different colored tights.
I also love how all the fashion bloggers are about to collapse into a heap of exhaustion over this stupid 30×30 challenge. I can’t wait until these smug married bitches start having babies. Then talk to me about exhaustion. A victorious day of getting dressed usually involves me putting on my shirt right side out.
Shit, that’s an accomplishment for me every morning, and I don’t even have kids.
I thought you were preggs? Did you pop?
I find the 30 x 30 challenge really offensive, actually. It’s such a white girl privilege thing, like OMG! How! Do! I! Get! Dressed! With! Only! 30! Things! What a challenge! How innovative!
Like I said, really offensive…as if most women don’t ALREADY do that because that’s ALL the clothes they own. Ugh, I find it so gross.
Yes. It is so gross. And they’re all like …. I missed my other clothes! I can’t wait until it’s over! I learned soooo much about “remixing” the things I have! It’s like, not even first world problems. They fabricated some kind of “challenge” so they would have more excuses to take pictures of themselves and feature the same five dopey designer items they got on clearance at the Saks outlet.
Yes! Exactly. It’s so utterly pointless and so CLEARLY a promotional tool that the entire thing just disgusts me. Who cares if you can live off the same 30 pieces of clothing? Why would you do that if you don’t HAVE to? It’s just beyond me. I have no words.
It’s just a big link party for Kendi. Download my button! Add it to your blog! LINK FUCKING ENSUES
I participated in the 30 for 30 back in the fall. It seemed like a fun creative experiment, some of my good blog friends were going to be involved too, and hell, it would get me to finally wear some of the more unusual vintage/thrift stuff I have.
About five outfits in, I realized it was the dumbest, most artificial shit ever. Got bombarded with comments from lots of “follow me!” bloggers and it was just a never-ending circle jerk of people vying to be spotlighted by Kendi.
Agree so hard with this.
I was trying to explain to my Siberian Catfriend this whole 30×30 thing, and he was like, “Good for them, that they’re rich enough that they have 30 different articles of clothes to wear.” And I was like nooo the whole thing is that they are suffering because they can only WEAR 30 of their 8000 piece wardrobe and then he was just like I SHIT ALL OVER THOSE BITCHES STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW.
the end.
I love this comment. Can we hear more from your Siberian Catfriend?
They probably can’t wait for Friday because it means their working BFF huscat will be free for DATE NIGHT!
oh my god. fucking date night.
your ass is married. you’re not dating, or going on dates because your ass is MARRIED. Don’t you remember? That you’re married? You had a wedding at which you got married to your OMG BEST FWEND. Marriage marriage married wedding wed betrothal wedding eternal bliss etc etc.
date night. i can’t.
sorta OT:
was watching an ep of roseanne yesterday and the oldest kid was crying about how her marriage was SO.HARD and she was like.. “i wish it was back like when i lived here and we only saw each other occasionally.”
and roseanne swiftly delivered a bitchslap of
“so you wish you were dating? marriage doesn’t work like that!!!”
aaaaanyway.. date night is fucking stupid.
Um, YES. Exactly what you said.
These bloggers are annoying, yes. But what about the people who comment on each and every one of their posts, dripping sweetness and adoration? “Oh my goodness, you look so BEAU-TIFUL!! Oh, how I WISH I could look like you. Sadly, I forgot how to think for myself a long time ago, so I’m stuck using the interweb as the benchmark for what real life is like.”
It’s like high school all over again.
Sorry, was referring specifically to Shamoolia’s earlier comment:
I can’t wait until these smug married bitches start having babies. Then talk to me about exhaustion. A victorious day of getting dressed usually involves me putting on my shirt right side out.
i couldn’t possible know what exhaustion means because i have not personally shat out a kid.. but when my bf’s daughter stays at our place and wakes us up at SIX THIRTY IN THE MOTHERFUCKING MORNING ON A WEEKEND i know i ain’t cut out for that shit.
It seems like most of those commenters are also quite young/teens who don’t know better. Just my unscientific opinion.
I followed a few links left in the comments and it mainly seemed to be 40-something women in like, Wichita or something.
Are you talking about my new favorite blogger, http://thriftygirlvintage.blogspot.com? I am kinda seers about being a fan. She has so much enthusiasm for her Eddie Bauer steez and I luuuuuurve that.
It tickles me to death that these imbeciles believe that “mixing” 30 clothing items is somehow impressive, AND that the fact that normally they have 580,347 items to choose from, sorry, “mix,” makes them better dressed. Women with real sense of style are perfectly capable of having LESS than 30 clothing items per season. I’d think that with all the bullshit about “European style” that seems to be so popular with these sadsacks they’d realize that.
(All sorts of “meh” stuff in this article IMO, but it does bring up the point:
http://annkroeker.com/2008/07/23/15-everyday-ideas-to-borrow-from-the-french-and-belgians/ )
Isn’t there some anecdote about how chic French women only need like 7 things and then just a million accessories? They just have under 10 basics they “remix” all the time.
I don’t get why this 30 in 30 is a ‘thing’ now either.
Even an expensive apartment in Paris is likely to have small closets. You just can’t fit the 230409348 pieces of crap that you can in an average home in Indiana.
I can’t imagine why these girls need to wear something different everyday anyway. Its really a sign of not knowing their own style. Who sees them daily if they don’t hold down regular jobs?
they’re EXPRESSING themselves.. god. don’t stifle their creativity!!!
I’m tempted to go out and try to find something that doesn’t give me migraines, just so I can smile and say demurely, “Why, thank you…that hint of honeysuckle you picked up on is my summer scent, reminding me of my childhood growing up in the countryside.”
lol
Sorry, FEWER than 30 items, not “less items.” I haz 2nd language issues!
I just ran across a blog where some young married chick does nothing but blog her shopping trips to neiman marcus all day. Playing with your dogs while waiting for your allowance from your husband because you don’t work and you don’t have kids makes you pathetic. She blogged every little thing she bought, louboutins, chanel…who the f##@ are these people and this girl was young. I must just be jealous and bitter. I also hate the comments these dumb girls get, they look like shit, stop sucking ass to people you’ll never know who look like shit. Geez.
I’m probably going to hate myself for asking but….link please?
ditto.
Cosigned. Please share!
OH HAI RUNNIES ITS ME TROLLDOLLSWITHHAIR! I just spent an hour watching sweet little B play with bubbles outside. Then the cop came and gave us a ticket for drinking Dom on the sidewalk. Meanie Mcmeanerson! Sweet little B and I went down bioth the twisty roads hoo boy am I sdizzy. Some people say Rolls! Why ARE YOU SO HAPPY ALL! THE! TIME! I say it is because I do not worry about material things what with the fact being of me having lots and lots of them. They say Rolls! HOW! DO! YOU! GET! MATERIAL! THINGS! And I say have lots and lots and lots of relations and then have them like you and then have them die (in a scary mansion with lightning) (haha) (joking). Like Great Aunt Revoltica used to say: “Where there’s a will…there’s a way.”
And sweet little B and I agree. Don’t we, B.
B?
B?
Why does this Dom taste like nail polish?
RRR nevar change.
*dying*
I can totally see her writing in her diary “I keep telling my husband Miller High Life and a blow job is NOTHING like champagne and caviar, but he just laughs and laughs like I’m missing some joke. Men are so weird!”
Great Aunt Revoltica lmfao
OMG I went cross eyed trying to read that paragraph and that’s all I could make out.
O/T but Bloomingdale’s totally stole GOMI’s scarving jokes :(
Hey Bloomie’s I bet if you had sponsored GOMI for this you’d have a ton of entries. WE LOVE TO SCARF! #sponsorfails
(that is supposed to be me making fun of Messica’s tweeting sponsors tactics, btw)
omg keep an eye out for an email i will be sending you!!
I’m willing to throw down money that says Messica WILL enter that contest. She loves it when the internets give her free stuff for being so fabulous!
I’m currently unemployed, waiting to go to school and doing some part time work. And honestly, I’m SO FUCKING bored. I’ve only been unemployed for a month and am already going stir crazy with the constant need to get out of the house. I don’t know how she does it. But I guess if I had someone paying the bills and didn’t have to worry then maybe I’d watch my dog blow bubbles. Oh, but wait, I actually want a career and to make something of myself that doesn’t involve throwing together bright colored throw up and calling it an outfit.
It’s seriously like this girl swallowed one of those PAAS easter egg dye kits and just keeps shitting fake rainbows.
What makes it worse is that I used to read her old blog and she would frequently talk about how she never had any money ect., She constantly claims that they’re on a budget and so forth but she’s buying something new every week, from stores like Calypso.
I honestly think it’s just a different mentality. Being unemployed is difficult and everyone deals differently. I guess her way is just retreating into some make believe world where everything is AMAZING and she’s just so blessed and her dog lays golden eggs.
Too bad I live in the real world, it gets me down.
You haven’t truly been down until you are on your way back from brunch.
Sorry to hear jpa, been there and it can be kind of cool and horribly boring at the same time.
I’m sending you best wishes on the truck that they carried Messica’s ego in down to Broomfuck.
Thanks!
I was unemployed when I graduated from school a couple of years ago so luckily it isn’t as hard on me as it was last time. Plus, I have GOMI now.
Is her old blog still up? I’m curious to know what she was like before Life Love LOLs.
pretty sure it got deleted when she was exposed as a racist.
The catfriend came home last night and the first thing out of his mouth was “I saw a Messica on the way home.”
I asked after a 5 second pause full of panic and confusion, “Whaaaat??? What was she wearing?”
“A bag of vomit.”
THE END
+100000 for the catfriend.
Can I get an AMEN!?!?
I’ve read almost 30 books in the last three months, watched all the episodes of OZ, Fringe, NCIS and am now starting on Numb3rs, I scrubbed the crumb catcher on my toaster yesterday. Not having a job is BORING!!
Maybe that’s why dumpling is always throwing “tea parties” for her dog and having dress up sessions. She’s losing her mind from non-activity.
Ah, Numb3rs is a great show…
I’ve been unemployed for a month as well and boring doesn’t even begin to describe it! I’m lucky that my husband has a very good job and pays all of the bills with no problem but, being 22, it makes me feel like crap. I have no money of my own to go out shopping with my friends or have lunch with my mom. I’d look for another job but I’m trying to finish school and unemployment may be able to help me go back for free. This comment makes me sound like a spoiled brat but all of my friends and family live out of state, so lunch and mall trips are what we look forward to. Unlike the crazies that blog about their perfect lives, I actually have goals and I intend on meeting them.
you don’t sound spoiled!
I cosign everything everyone said about unemployment being horribly boring and enervating. I hope all you obese bitches get jobs soon!!
Thank you! I’ve never known the real definition of bored until this year. When you wake up at 5:30 am to get some coffee and pack your husband a lunch, you half expect everyone else to be awake. A couple of times I’ve found myself texting my friends at 8:30 in the morning and crying to myself when I don’t get a response. I can’t take this much longer!!!!!!!
I was laid off a little over a year ago and it took me 4 months to find a job and I work in OMGTECH. Searching the job sites for hours and meticulously crafting cover letters for jobs you know you won’t get is such a shitty feeling. My mental state deteriorated sharply over those four months. It’s a horrible feeling like no other.
I really think this girl is mentally retarded.
She is MR. F
Guidetostyle.blogspot.com
annastasja.blogspot.com
puppiesandfashion.com
I live with one of these whores. Spoiled little rich girls and I hate them.
I’m hoping to god this “bio” is in jest: “Representing. Miss Anna MM from Paris, people. This is stuff you just have to know. Deal with it.”
I’m in awe of it all. There is so much excess and I don’t understand anything she is saying. All I see are fur coats and lamborghinis. Hard life of a college student.
I see you’ve met my cousin.
Also, the first girl is engaged!!!
The 2nd one, she who writes:
Therefore, I was a bit worried to say the least, when a No-show of several of the important players ( in some cases) occured. One was not aloud to board Air France because of her dog (who fits perfectly into a 2.55, so I really don’t know what the deal was). Another one misunderstood what airport she was flying from. And then when she finally arrived; misunderstood what Hotel she was staying at. A third one got food poisoned at Zelo’s (FYI:Grimaldi Forum, 10 Avenue Princess Grace, 98000 Monaco) the night before. His lawyers are preparing the necessary documents, as were speaking.
It would be interesting to hear the odds for all this happing in one day. Like a nice little curve with the calculation of the factorial probability attached.”
Like … Whoa! Trying to decipher her elitist ramblings makes me want to gouge my eyes out …
Ay, aloud not allowed? Were not we’re? Happing.
Shoot me.
The indiscriminate capitalization makes me think this is the work of a spam bot. Are random things hyperlinked to websites selling Canadian Viagra?
odds dont’ come in curves, idiot. They are a ratio. Like, one number over another with a little line between? Kind of like your sex life?
Also there is no such thing as factorial probability. A probability is a number? Between zero and one? Like your IQ?
FYI, Anna, using hipsogram or the the filter effects on your camera phone or photoshop or whatever does not make you an artiste. Either learn how to take decent pictures or give it up.
She’s still not as scary as that British blob of diamond-studded fail who blogs about how Prince William is planning to blackball her at court.
whaaat?
“Yassir Arafat, a trendsetter”
what is this I can’t even.
Suicide bomber chic? I cannot.
puppies and fashion? god that sounds like something i would write..
annastasja references amercian psycho:
” Im into Murders & Acquisitions, mostly”.
That is actually a plus as far as I’m concerned. I’d let Bale chase me around with a chainsaw any day he liked (he’d have to shave that fucking beard off first, however).
“I love sushi, mexican food, punk rock, oldies and country music, being a girly girl, pioneer wagons, boating it up, golf and tennis at our country club. I love not having to work or worry about a career. Basically, I love my life.”
Is that supposed to be a joke?? Who lives like this? Of course, I find it incredibly intriguing because apparently I’m a masochist.
Nothing quite screams punk rock like tennis at my country club.
We play a very mean game.
Feel the suppressed rage
Also, the kiddos will come, and, with them, the alcohoism
The Vey Secet Diaies of Adam Chistopher Quirk:
Monday: kissed Bangs goodbye and drove around the block. Found a place to park between two vans and played with my new gameboy. Thought I saw her coming, ducked, turned out to be dude who shovels walks for $5. Rolled down window and yelled “Got change for a ten?”
Tuesday: Made a big deal about packing my briefcase and talking about “work.” She totally went for it. Hit the mall on the southside and had a couple of those giant cinnamon roll things.
Wednesday: agreed to take her pics again. Into the snow, out of the snow, into the snow, out of the snow. Told her “Gotta get to work, hon.” Went outside, waited for her to stop crying and start snoring, sneaked back into basement, played with Hot Wheels car set I found in attic.
Thursday: had a big discussion. She’s all like: “I should contribute.” I’m all like: “But honey you do contribute! You contribute by being YOU!” She’s all “Quirk you’re so good to me.” I’m all like: “Yes. Yes I am.”
Friday: check finally came. They made it out to “Chistopher.” Ha fucking ha. Well, like I told Julia about Jack, it’s their money. At least Jess isn’t getting double-penetrated in military themed gay-for-pay porno vids. Julia says she burns the sheets every day. UPDATE: got text message from hot blond I met on Facebook. Her photos are really cute! She says she knew David Karp. She sounds AWESOME!
QUIRK, ONLY MESSICA IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WIF SEKRUT BLOGZ!!
Oh Jessy. Poor little Jessy. You are so dim.
christ on a bike…
Hmm, my image is missing for some reason. Did a certain JQ of IN pull a JA? I can get image hosting elsewhere bitches! You can’t keep me down!
it is the price of fame. Too many ppl viewed it and you overloaded. Host elsewhere.
Tatiana’s latest blog is all about how she feels overwhelmed. So life isn’t a bowl of cheerios then? Maybe she reads here and realizes she needs to be more honest.
she’s overwhelmed by… accomplishing her blogging goals. IT’S SO HARD.
“I have two calendars, one journal entirely devoted to to-do lists, electronic reminders and print outs of schedules, dates and deadlines to keep me on track. I miss lunch an embarrassing number of times a week and I’ve been guilty of leaving wet towels in the washer all week.”
Wait, the girl doesn’t work and she can’t manage to make lunch or take laundry out of the machine????!!!!
Why doesn’t she work anyway, it’s not like Little Miss Married is looking after kids.
HUH? Two calendars??? Peeps with full time job and three kids have two calendars. This thing has a dog and half a brain. Oh C’MON!
If she wasn’t so mesmerized by her dog, bubbles, and cuppy cakes maybe she would be able to function like an adult?
I honestly am starting to think that she suppresses everything. Obviously I don’t know her but I know people like her who are terribly unhappy but act as if everything is so magical and perfect!!! It’s actually quite sad.
she’s retarded. or like, mentally stunted. maybe that’s why she’s an adult obsessed with disney world and cotton candy.
OVERWHELMED! LIFE IS HARD!
“Sending a massive thank you to @JCrew_Insider for going above & beyond in helping me get the perfect shoe :). Can’t wait for it to come! xo about 1 hour ago via web
So many fun trips in the plans!! Can’t wait to get away! about 18 hours ago via web ”
Dumpling, go get a job in a coal mine or something, please I implore you.
This bitch is bullshit.
Tatiana, you spent your afternoon blowing bubbles for your fucking dog. I spent mine wrapping up some facebook app (yeah I know, start mocking me, a job is a job though) and then trying to figure out if I would have money left over from this paycheck to treat myself to a coffee table for my apartment. Then I walked to the subway, got off the subway, and walked a mile home in the rain because my umbrella turned inside out in the wind. Now I’m home on the Ikea website deciding if I can afford that coffee table – pretty much my biggest financial splurge this month.
Now, I could go find some 5 dollar table from 1927 and fix it up. But see, since I have a REAL JOB I get to spend my two days off cleaning, hauling my laundry back and forth to the laundromat, then carrying my whiny dog half a mile to the park for the one hour a week he can run free before the big dogs get there and mistake him for a squirrel, scouring the 99 cent store for some kind of paper towels and cleaning shit I can afford, vet visits if anyone needs to go, working on the apartment improvements that I have to do to keep my rent down, then doing any work that might need to be done before the Monday meeting. When I have time, I try to do improvements to GOMI (I have a list, let me complain about it….done) and spend time with friends. So I don’t have time (not to mention a space to do it in) to scour the second hand stores and refinish an antique one of a kind coffee table, or make pointless french twee pastries, or play dress up with my pets, and complain about how rough my life is.
Short version: Go fuck yourself and your entitled, non-working, inappropriate contact loving, Orange County California life problems.
Thanks for listening.
By the way, I’m not complaining up there. All of these tasks are things I consider part of being an adult with a job and a life to manage. I’m just saying she is fucking ridiculous with her supposed need for 2 schedules and finding life so unmanageable when twirling her hair and “being grateful” is all she has to do with her time.
Get a fucking grip on yourself, you brat.
I don’t even know how to react to that post. I am so fucking blown that she has the fucking AUDACITY to act like her life is SO! HARD!. I really just can’t even with her.
I can’t even muster any coherent snark because I am THAT disgusted.
Dude if I posted some shit like that you and the girls would make me hold your drink while you slapped my face. The level of delusion about her circumstances has left me actually sputtering with anger. Does she have NO friends to tell her this is ridiculous???
5 dollah tables from 1927 FOR THE MUTHAFUCKIN WIN.
Me no understand the $5 table from 1927.
When me have table from 1927 it cost nothing.
It belong once to Great Aunt Revoltica.
She dead.
Bitch no charge.
That called “old crap in attic.”
I have this table. Everything you put in the drawer comes out smelling like mothballs. I can’t get rid of it because it is a HAIRLOOM.
If you lift up the bottom panel in the third drawer you can find old tea stained recipe cards. Recipes for STYLE!